Thursday, June 29, 2017

Domestic Violence #Blogathon

 

The birth of a girl is detested in our society. There has been a gradual change in the mind-set of people in India and they have at least come to terms to accept the birth of a girl. But still we lag behind and more consciousness is required to overcome.

As the girl grows, so the reprimands of the women folks grow.

“Don’t do this? Behave well, you have to go to husbands house” and so on.

She too was not an exception.

She was elated when her alliance was fixed with the renowned businessman of the town and her dreams to be rich unfolded but it was short-lived.

On the marriage day, her dreams shattered when the in-laws made huge demands after the wedding rituals were over.

She was dumb and could not decide what to do next.

She did not had the courage to walk out of the marriage…neither she was daring nor her family would accept her decision.

She saw her world crashing down.

Her hubby wasn’t co-operative and taunted her over petty issues and didn’t care much about her comforts.

She cried in silence.

Her parents always tried to make her understand that she was the bahu of the family and needs to adjust however adverse the circumstances are.

She was ill treated by her in-laws, sis-in-laws and even support staff did not spare her.

After two years of marriage, she was blessed with a beautiful & chubby girl. None saw the beauty of the baby rather despised her birth and made her responsible for giving birth to a girl child.

She wondered, how a  literate family could give such statements...but couldn't speak out.

She coaxed her fate and the day she gave her affirmation to the proposal.

Her biggest mistake and the outcome she was facing in her daily life.

Her fate was too not supportive and again she was blessed with a baby girl.

It was intolerable for her in-laws family and husband and they neglected her.

The irony of her fate was that when she went for attending functions and parties, she was asked to dress up in expensive clothes and heavy jewellery so that the onlookers could not make out what she was going through, while at home, she lived worse than a maid.

She was never left alone at public places or if relatives or guests poured in so that she couldn’t express her agony.

She submitted herself to fate but promised that she won’t allow her daughters to meet her fate.

She gave best education and they came out with flying colours and the spring of her life returned. She was very happy and thanked God for bestowing his blessings on her family.

She married her daughters in well-educated families and remained happy to see them happy.

Once she planned to visit her elder daughter’s place to see how they were leading their lives.

Everything appeared smooth in her life but the fight behind the doors terrified her. Both were yelling on top of their voice.

Whole night, she was wide awake. In the morning, she called her daughter and scolded her for been nonsensical.

“Mummy, how could you say so, when you led your life in such adverse situation?” her daughter enquired.

She remained tight-lipped but flash back of past reeled before her eyes but she did not had the courage to wreck her home.

“Beta, girls are born to balance life and home, so give in your best and the best will return to you.” She explained her.

She knew, she was wrong but she feared society and the life of a single women in our society.

Technology has advanced but the minds of Indian society need more time to bring progress in women’s life.

A lot is written about it but still in literate circle also, domestic violence is on rise.

Linked with A Letter to Her

Note: Do read a copy of Meena Kandasamy’s new book, When I Hit You.

Pic Credits: here

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Maa, I won't Bear? #Domesticviolence




                                                                                        Source




“Thud Thud…Thud” and the sobs followed.

It wasn’t a one day affair…It happened every day.

I was just Seven, so couldn’t predict what went behind the scene but was sure that whatever went on was not justified…her sobs confirmed.

One day, I mustered courage to peep through the keyhole to know what occurred behind the doors and how everything seemed smooth after an hour or so.

The scene behind the door was fierce and I could not lay my eyes on them….He was literally a brute.

He beat her up with his leather belt, whipping hard on her with every strokes and she lied helpless on the floor.

He removed the sari that draped her fragile body and hit her hard on her delicate parts.

I was shivering with fear…He is a beast…he can’t be my father.

I ran to my granny and told her the sequence that I watched through. She was cool.

“It happens Baby. Your mother might have disobeyed your father.”

“Dadi…what are you saying? Go and see, how that beast is whipping belt on her skin.” I literally howled at her.

“It’s new for you…not for me. Your mother has leverage that she can take few decisions…accompany your father on tour. My life was much worst, dear…but till date, no one knows of it. I didn’t ever complain to my Mother because her life was not better than mine. I was beaten if I disobeyed your Baba but my Mother was confined in room for days without food if she couldn’t manage the things on time. Baby, it’s our fate. We are born to be in captive and it’s necessary else the girls will go astray and not accommodate with their husbands and in-laws. She needs to be in strict guardianship before and after marriage.” Dadi said nonchalantly.

I was sobbing hard.

“Dadi, how can you be so callous? It is not necessary that if you were abused, my Mother should meet the same fate…You and your son both are beasts.” I said.

A strong hand overpowered me and yelled on top of his voice.

“You need worse treatment than your mother…at this age, your pitch is so high. What will you do after marriage? You need severe punishment.” My father said fiercely.

The fragile hands wrapped me in her arms and requested him to overlook my faults, giving me a chance to improve.

“Please forgive her. She is naive and innocent. I will make her understand.” She pleaded sobbingly.

Silently, I walked to my room.

The words of my mother eroded my confidence in her. She too believes like Dadi…she is no better.

I was only seven but these harrowing experience at home had made me more matured than my age.

I could see my future bleak.

“Maa…instead of stopping father, you said that I will be checked. I can’t endure these miseries. I saw today how that Man whom you call your husband treats you. Even you shouldn’t bear…leave this house forever.”

“No, Baby…don’t say like this, now my dead body will leave this house. Though he is cruel and wild at times but still I can’t disregard him. Our parents taught us.” Maa said with a blank look.

Years passed but the situation remained more or less the same.

I was twenty now.

I had vowed that I won’t accept arranged alliance of my parents rather will choose my life partner and talk to him over the points of adjustments before getting hitched.

One day, my senior proposed me.

I rolled out my points and said that if he agreed then I will go steady with him and get hitched when he comes into job.

Two years passed smoothly without any disagreements.

One day, he saw me with my class mate in market and was ferocious over phone and said so many things which were not required.

I disconnected the line bidding him good bye forever.

I didn’t want a life like my mother and granny.

I am thirty now and waiting for a suitable alliance.

I need a man in my life but not at the cost of my self-esteem.

( The tit bits that goes around.)

Linked to A Letter To Her.

Note: Do read a copy of Meena Kandasamy’s new book, When I Hit You.


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Thursday, June 22, 2017

Three Mood Enhancers That Changed My Life!!! #ThankfulThursdays




                                                                         Source


When I look back down the lanes then I find myself more matured with age….or you can say leverage of maturity is more than the age.

Time is the best planner and healer and if it heals before outbreak of diseases, then one is lucky and today, I consider myself lucky.

You will be wondering what I am trying to say.

There was a time when I was very moody and was always on a search of a booster to spur my mood…my mood was like the rainy season of Mumbai…the off switch was mostly on and I lingered to search a way to uplift my mood…and took support of Music, friends, gardening and books but I never adhered for long and wasted precious phase of life in swinging from one branch to another and roamed with a sloppy face.

When I stepped on the Sweet Sixteen…age of wandering & dreams but much did not change for me…I was the same slot.

Then, one day, I sat alone in silence & introspected.

“What stopped me from enjoying my precious life?”

I was born in a well to do family, pampered with all the comforts…then why was I wasting my time and energy over uplifting my mood.

Then and there, I vowed, “I will control my mood and not be controlled by Mood…it’s my kingdom and I am supposed to reign on my life…no intervention allowed of this shit, ‘Mood’ which was spoiling me and my mood tantrums affected my direct family and I was been considered a stubborn brat.

This was the turning point in my life and all evolved for good.

I started enjoying the small joys of life and large transformations was seen in me.
Few were mistaken by my positive mood swing and thought that I had fallen in love.
Yes, I had fallen in love but not with any person. I had fallen in love with Nature.


Gardening:

I was fond of gardening from childhood but never initiated much.

We lived in independent house and acres of land sprawled around which was used for flowers & veggies.

I took a patch of  front bed row for myself to try my gardening skills, which included weeding, seeding, watering and preparing compost manure…it was one of my best engagement after studies and watching the plants growing boosted my mood and a level of satisfaction enveloped me. 

Gradually, I started helping my Grandfather in gardening and took charge of all the flower beds and the bright hues spurred my mood.

Music:

Music turns me on and a heavenly feeling intoxicates me. It soothes me from within and the feeling that I go through cannot be summed up in words. I found solace in Music and it proved to be a soul healer. I started singing and started giving programs in school, colleges and in social circle…The music healed me and the mood swings were nearly over with this practice and I felt lighter and happier…so I devoted my free time to Music and this aspiration introduced me to friends, who were music lovers and my social circle enhanced.

Writing:

Since childhood, I was fond of reading and the mood swings gave way to writing…it was a medium to open up and pour down the feelings which emanated from the best and the bitter experiences of life. I was introvert in those days, so I found writing very healing and comforting. In those days, we wrote Diary. This flair improved my vocabulary, creativity and imaginative skills. Word power improved a lot and even mood swings improved. After venting out, I felt relieved and refreshed, it brushed up my woes.

These three medium helped me to control my mood tantrums and these three bestowed great change in my persona.

I overcame the mood swings and at the age of 17, I was a new self, who looked at life with a positivism.

No grievance or loss or lows of life screws me anymore and I became adjustable &adaptable and I never back out however adverse the circumstance is. I accept the lows of life as a part and parcel of life.

This is me….What about U?


Do leave comments before you leave.

Linked to #ThankfulThursdays30

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Monday, June 19, 2017

VLCC Customised Obesity Package!! #GetfitwithVLCC

 


Day to day, Obesity is becoming a problem for the people world-wide and the fair reason behind it is digitization, sedentary life and mechanized lifestyle, wherein the physical effort is becoming negligible.

A little population is concerned about their health and lifestyle and they follow sessions of gym, morning walk and diet control diligently. A big chunk is at their receiving end, the girth increasing day by day but they cannot stick to wellness program, juggling between professional & personal life.
Everyone can’t lead a committed life and the deviation from the normal gives spurt to obesity and obesity leads to certain diseases.

The fast and junk food, pizzas, cold drinks are in the regular menu owing to fast life which adds in most calories to one’s diet and the body loses its firmness.

The youngsters and kids are getting plump; the reasons are many, hooked to indoor games, TV, & fast food.


The signs of obesity is not healthy but people tend to be careless until the symptoms of overweight flares up, thus, giving rise to many diseases.

Hypothyroidism: is a condition characterized by abnormally low thyroid hormone production. The prevalence of hypothyroidism is high in Indians compared to other countries and the people of inland and coastal island are more affected with it.
It affects growth, development and many cellular processes and the clinical symptoms vary from one individual to other.

Clinical features of Hypothyroidism are:
  •  Fatigue
  • Intolerance to cold
  • Muscle aching and cramps
  • Constipation
  • Weight gain or difficulty losing weight
  • Poor appetite
  • Face and legs swelling
  • Hoarse voice
  • Irregular or heavy menstruation
  • Depression
  • Memory loss
  • Slows mental activity
  • Infertility and pregnancy related problems.

Normal range of Thyroid levels: is TSH is 0.6-4.6 micro units/ml.

Medication & Exercise:
  • Thyroid medication is to be taken on regular basis and regular blood test is essential to assess whether the patient is taking right amount of dose of thyroid hormone. As it is hormonal imbalance so dose has to be adjusted.
  • Thyroid medicine has to be taken in empty stomach and no other medicine should be supplemented with it. There should be a gap of at least 45 minutes between medicine & food.
  • 60-90 minutes of exercise is a must for the thyroid patients.
  • Meditation, yoga and breathing exercises is recommended too.

VLCC has introduced Medically Supervised “GET WELL SOON programs and packages for the patients of :

1.       Diabetes
2.       Thyroid
3.       Blood Pressure
4.       PCOS (Polycystic ovarian syndrome)

These weight loss and Body shaping packages are specially customized for clients suffering from the ailments like Hypothyroidism, PCOS, Diabetes & BP which are directly linked with Obesity.

These four diseases are prone to risk to life and if care is not taken, it leads to severe complications.Their weight management programs is outstanding. It helps to lose weight by planning diet and exercises and they provide specific diet for the weight loss.


Based on Medical, Fitness and health assessments including BCA, Anthropometry and DNA screening they include the following planned, monitored and customized solutions:

1.       Ongoing Medical supervision by our in house doctor through the program

2.       Personalized therapeutic diet plan for specific ailment.

3.       Customized Exercise routine with special precautions and contraindications.

4.       Supporting therapies and appliance in unique combination to help take care of signs and symptoms of the disease and achieve weight loss and Body shaping goals.

5.       Lifestyle education that focuses on practical training and achieving optimal emotional health.

VLCC forbids patients from adopting Crash diets, Diet Supplements or Appetite Suppressants in their lifestyle. Enroll with VLCC#GetfitwithVLCC .

They have a panel of Doctors, Physiotherapists, Dietitian and Therapist and personalized treatment is given to the patients who are enrolled for Get Well Soon package.


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Friday, June 16, 2017

Gifts for Fathers!!! #FathersDay #Relationships

 

After the celebration of the Mother’s Day, the kids start planning for the Father’s Day which this year arrives on 18th June 2017.

Mother too is overjoyed along with her children and suggests ideas of gifts and celebrations on this day.

I am not an exception…I too join them.

Even I’m an influencer among the children of my apartment and they gather at my place to discuss about gifts and celebrations.

A gift is a token of love, the price doesn’t matter much…what matters is the love and affection behind the gifts.

Fathers of all ages are dynamic and the spine & strength of a family and whole family depends on him but still we need to group them according to their age.

The choice differs from an individual to an individual and the factor of age matters much.

 

  1. Young Fathers: The gift of young fathers would be something swanky and up to date, trending in the market.



  • A Personalized Coffee Mug would be an ideal choice with his snap and name. He will be mesmerized with the gift and it can be put into use on daily basis and comfortable on the pockets of kids.

  • A Stylish Mobile Cover will be apt and useful for him.

  • A Wallet, Tie, Belt, Key ring & a Pen. It comes in a set or you can buy individually and wrap beautifully. He can use daily and the gift will make you kids recall many times in a day.

  • Personalized Cushion.

  • If he is a foodie, gift him a cake, carats of juices & treat him with his choice of foods.


These are enough for young father because young school going kids have budget limitations, so they can’t stretch much.

2. Middle Aged Fathers: They too will enjoy the gifts trending in the market but they will have their own set of choices as in this age, they are free from child rearing and so they love to dwell sometime for himself or with their life partner.

  • Book a Spa for him in one of the best of your town. It will relieve him of stress and feel refreshed & rejuvenated. He will love the gift and you might get bonus treat in one of the fine restaurants of the town. Take help from Mommy to decide best for him. It will be a bit heavy on your pockets but it won’t make a hole. Take Mommy in…after the wellness program, his Smiles will comfort you.

  • If he loves food, book a table for Pa-Mom so that they can spend some time together and enjoy life. Mom will help you with the choices.

  • Gift him a trendy watch.

  • There are many hampers available in the market, pick as per his choice and hobby.

  • If he loves reading, gift him with the classics novel or Kindle e- reader.


Assess his likes and then decide what to present which will add smiles with the surprise gift.

3. Retired Fathers: They need the traditional gifts as per their choice and requirements and they will be the happiest souls to receive gifts from his children who are staying away or with him.

  • Book a holiday package for your parents to the lands of his choice. It will add colors to his life and ask him his wishes and plan accordingly. It is a moment of pride to receive such surprise package from their settled children….It will be his second honeymoon.

  • Present him a Diary and a good Parker pen…at this age, he needs one to write his details of expenditure, wants etc.

  • If he is a tech savvy and yearns for digital, gift him a laptop, IPad or tablet as per his choice.

  • Book a table for a family get together. It will add splendid moments of togetherness in his life. It’s a proud moment for a father to spend time with his children…it will add years to his life.

  • If he has health concerns, book a health package for him.


An adult can easily understand his needs and decide what is suitable for him and how much you can spare on him…my view is that one shouldn’t count materialistic things…count his numerous blessings, who made you what you are today.

4. Old Fathers: They need love, care and support of his children…they act like children and now you need to father them and take care of his needs.

  • Plan a holiday package to one of the holy places and accompany him on trip.

  • If he is staying far from you, present him an airline ticket so that he visits you and can spend his time with you…it will refresh his mood or vice versa. Drop at his place with his favorite gifts, cakes and flowers.

  • Present Trimmers, Dry fruits Hampers, Warm Wrappers & clothes as per his requirement & age.

  • Book a Health & wellness package to get him thoroughly checked up.

  • If he is staying away from the children, then assess what are his requirements and accordingly present him. They may need the gadgets to be replaced at home…Replace them & give him due Surprise.


I have jotted down from my own perspective, taking care of the Fathers of all age groups and their needs and requirements.

Handmade cards, cakes, chocolates, flowers, perfumes and deodorants are complementary and can be added in the GIFTS FOR FATHERS of all ages.

Hope readers will agree with my views, if not, do leave a comment…will love to amend or append in my article.

Linked with #MMM

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Sole Ideas of Ila Varma for the Gifts for Fathers.

Pic Source: here

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

My Superhero!!! #Dad #FathersDay

                                                                                       Source




  

Indeed Dad is a Superhero for the kids because at the tender age, what he does for us seems very Big to us and we accept him as Superhero and try to imitate his style.

Dad is a dad for the daughters and sons but a daughter’s affection is more inclined towards her father in her initial years of childhood and the sons are more influenced by Moms; I think more of psychology works here…Let’s not delve deep.

I too was not an exception and since I gained senses, I was more a Papa’s Beti than a Mothers and I remember at times, Mom felt ignored and neglected.

My father was in Sales job so most of the time, he was on tours. I missed him badly and would cry often for my Superhero.

When he came back, I tried to spend maximum time with him and I was pampered by him. He took me along to his office when he was in town. I accompanied him to market or wherever he moved.

Gradually, I started to imitate his acts and even kept his secrets.

I went with him on short trips and he puffed outside home. No one at home had a irk of it. We were in joint family system so my mother too wasn’t aware though she suspected.

He asked me not to spill the beans and I dutifully didn’t spill but often blackmailed him for getting new toys or things of my choice…really, I kept the secret till high school and spelled out to my mother…when he had left his habit.

He was fond of non-vegetarian foods and cooked delicious items of non-veg…you can say, he was a marvellous cook…I too fond of non-veg foods relished his cooked mouth-watering foods.

Being in Sales & Marketing, he often left the house when I was sleeping and returned when I went to bed…the days he brought raw non-veg food along, he would wake me up…his one call was enough to bring me back from slumber…and I would religiously wait for my favourite food that too cooked by my Superhero.

As I grew up, I tried to follow in his steps and imitated his dialogues and style (he wasn’t aware of it).

I adored the way he drove behind the wheels and would day dream to drive one day later in life and I did.

I helped him in the cleaning of the car…we had an Ambassador, at times, when it did not ignite, he would make me sit behind the steering and he pushed with others to ignite.

During holidays, I would play badminton and scrabble with him and at times, I caught him cheating…it was fair in games.

Despite all fun and pampering, he was a strict disciplinarian and his anger was worse.


When he would be at home in my school days, he helped me to get ready for school, polished my shoes, ironed my dresses and combed my hair into beautiful plaits…it was indirect help to mother but his small acts made me happy.

He was good at English and he imparted lessons on its usage and rectified my language. We spoke Bhojpuri at home but he made sure that while speaking in Hindi & English, the flair of the mother tongue doesn't comes in.

As I grew, I started understanding his ways and I gradually drifted apart and maintained a respectable distance where I could not argue or discuss as I could in my kindergarten days.

He trained us to be independent and do all the chores inside and outside home which included managing money, billing of newspaper & milk and banks, school fees and other bills so that I learn the value of money and be independent.

My mother had unknown fears and she never wished that we travel alone…but my Superhero gave the privilege to travel alone when we were at an age where we could differentiate between good or bad.

I hated making chappatis and was not good at making them but he was the one who insisted me to prepare chappatis for him…it was more of an order than request…so there was no option to turn down…now I understand his motive. He believed that the things people hated to do should practice every day and gradually the people will start loving…The day, I prepared rounded chappatis, I was relieved from the duty.

He taught me to read books other than text books and this gave way to writing. He would bring books while returning from tours.

He imparted knowledge about good and bad touch and inculcated table manners.

It wasn’t a cake walk with my Superhero, at times our ideas matched and we celebrated and when we opposed each other, we were at loggerheads…still the journey was good.

What I am today is a package of contributions of My Superhero Dad & Mom.

Linked to #MondayMommyMoments.

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Sunday, June 11, 2017

Thankful Weekends #Thursdays #Life







As weekends is about to arrive, the mind starts tickling of the youngsters, ready to gallop on the roads with racing bikes along with friends. The day Friday is been associated with TGIF (Thank God, It’s Friday.) and the heart of the youngsters starts beating for the approaching hours and the two grand days of weekend.

A decade ago, I was not well-versed with TGIF but now at every nook & corner of the metros and non-metros are ready for the show on Friday itself, which reminds of the importance of Friday in the lives of students in higher studies and hunks & girlies of the young employed age.

They don’t have much responsibility and in real terms, they enjoy their life at the best on Fridays and resting on the weekends.

We, the family people breathe deeply on Fridays to get ready for the next day with all the required weapons of cleaning, dusting and mopping. 

Working couple have hectic Saturdays, aligning the things of the house which often gets distracted from their places. The loads of clothes looking at us with dirty faces to get loaded in washing machines and bask in sun.

Today, I will brief you all, “How I Spend My Weekends” and why I am thankful for the weekends and very ardently wait for it to arrive.

Friday late evening is the laziest day for me. After work, I take a soothing shower comforting myself with my favourite lather and get ready in one of my casuals in which I can breathe easily without getting terrified of missing the creases.

I ardently wait for my better half who decides the menu and location of Fridays…On this day, I don’t pay attention to my home and kitchen…my fingers move on the playing list and the lights are dim so that I can’t see the dust or the missing creases of the sheets & furnishings…I have started believing  in TGIF.

M arrives from office and he knows me well and my overtures on Friday. At times, he decides to cook non-veg for us or take me to some restaurants to savour on some delicacies….and I go to bed early unlike other days, so Friday is a free day for me to relax in my own terms.

On Saturday, I wake up early and strap myself with all the amenities of cleaning the house, changing the furnishings and altering the look of the whole house.

M has his office and he tip toes of the house on time because I want full control on my home and don’t tolerate interference of anyone.

First of all, I load the washing machine with the clothes sorted out based on colour and fabric etc. Till it tumbles, I clean all the cobwebs and dust off the doors, windows and grills. All the sheets & covers are changed of all rooms & living room. All the decors & mirrors are cleaned. Even soft toys are bathed.

By noon, the total cleaning of the house is done along with the maid.

By the time, the cook cooks light meal for the day, I creep inside the bathrooms to sparkle them and take a lengthy bath to refresh & rejuvenate myself, brushing myself with ayurvedic powders.

After meal, comes the time to clean the kitchen shelves, change the nappies and table mats and arrange all the things as per my choice and need.

No rest in daytime. I keep my playing list of music ON to boost my energy to manage the chores well.

The washing machine does overtime in weekends and all the cleaning are over by late evening…then comes the washer man to collect the clothes for further processing.

In evening, I give a clean look to my plant pots by pruning and digging and sit in the balcony with my liquor tea.

When M arrives in late evenings, he is awestruck with the sparkling look and sprawls on the lounge breathing fresh look of our sweet home…he agrees that his Friday treat works well.

Sunday is the day to laze around…wake up late and move around lazily. We don’t take breakfast on Sundays, a grand lunch of non-veg is prepared by both of us and we relish it hot with the side dishes of raitas and sweets which we miss in weekdays.

After lunch and easy discussions of here and there, when sleep envelops us, we aren't even aware.

Sunday evening tea is prepared by M.

After tea, I change in one of favourite dress and enjoy the evening with M, catching few programs on TV or someone drops in & we close the Sunday with a light meal.

Ready for Monday to start afresh.

I feel thankful for the weekends, which gives me ample Me time to excavate the house, laze around and rejoice the days with full enthusiasm, anxiety at bay.

 Linked to Thankful Thursdays.



I am thankful to God for all his blessings.




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