The Mad World of Crazy Siblings! #SiblingStories

    My life has been a thorough roller coaster ride and had many health hiccups. My inner spirit never bogged me down and I continue to be one, who appears composed but is crazy at heart. Born in a large family with three generations living together, at times, we enjoyed, at times, we got irritated by the intervention of different generations but Today when I look back….I feel lucky to have interactions with so many people of all shapes, sizes and different mental wavelength as we had people in our family born in mid & late 19th century and We classics born in the late-20th century. Imagine our patience the way we dealt with the oldies.  We had a gang of siblings who were always at some mischief or the other…some were silent in giving consequences and few were loud and I was on the middle path…sometimes caught and sometimes not even noticed.     The gang of siblings included our first cousins, second cousins and my siblings from the same mother…but mind it, till today, we don’t address as cousins…we count them as own born from different mothers.  We all lived under one roof and it might appear unusual to the current generation, we shared spaces in one single large room and my granny was our guard to safeguard us when we entered into an alliance to wash & rinse (Dho Daala)  the few that appeared to be our greatest enemy at the moment…it was all momentary…the elders got busy in discussions and we stood in unison….our bonding was so strong.   I am eldest in my five sibling gang born from the same mother…but we hardly got into rough…but with a gang of siblings with different mothers, the pact was strong still it had several dimensions. Many lived with us and few invaded our territory during festivals, family functions and long holidays. Little things added joys in our life. We waited ardently for them to arrive and we had great planning ahead to execute. In our time, we had the privilege to grow amidst nature…big sprawling garden, well, trees, fruits, and veggies plants…and in winters and springtime, our garden was our home where we ate, played, studied and gave results to our mischief…some time we disclosed the name of the culprit but maximum time, it was handled by ourselves. I was the one to appear meek but knew well to handle things, get it done by the gang and give a final touch…the frontbenchers were caught easily. We played games like Pitto,” in winter holidays and the siblings that did not listen to us were made the target to hit during the game…hahaha 😆…and after that in the evening, we helped them in smearing Haldi-Chuna to give relief from pain.   We played Teacher game and therein too, our soft targets were the junior ones, whom we spanked with ruler not too hard but we were versed in the task of being a teacher and giving punishments….we all took turn and sometime or the other…everyone received spanking and torturous speech as it was delivered by the teachers of those days. We had great fun in food sharing…each one of us had their own taste…and the palette included sweets, sugar, jaggery, pickles, Murabba, Bikaneri Bhujia Haldiram. We were served in fewer quantities as per our age but the craving to eat wished for more and more…we all in a gang asked elders to serve and after getting, we sat on the roof and amalgamated our choice of food and ate till our tummy was full and craving satiated….mine favorite was Haldiram Bhujia.  We fought with each other but when caught by elders, we helped in shifting the scores to one another instead of making one the Bali ka Bakra. After heavy fights and scores, still we remained bonded, no ill feelings, no remorse hangover…and if any neighbours tried to pry in our privacy, we united and confronted them with our various tools. We saved each other from the eyes of the elders if anyone did something mischievous. We were a gang of mad siblings and we felt comfortable in our group…we shared beds, bathrooms, cosmetics, dresses, and accessories…nothing was defined for a specific person. Ohh…with sharing of dress, I remember few majedaar incidents where we exchanged dresses, mainly it happened in girls gang and the culprit that was hunted by the elders were saved and the innocent caught but the elders rage too diminished after catching the wrong person and the grim environment turned into humorous one. Really, I miss those wonderful days of pranks, silly encounters, and huge countenance of mischiefs that we shaped carelessly in our childhood carefree days. Gang of siblings helps children to learn to share and caring and they come up as a better social being and has the potential to defy hurdles of life with a smile…it’s my perception.

Reminiscing those days of childhood, a plan struck to start a blog train on #SiblingStories and 36 Bloggers of them amalgamated to share their sweet, salt and pepper encounters of #SiblingTalkBrand Angtatva collaborated with me to give a new shape to this beautiful blog train journey.

 Stay tuned to read more exciting entertaining stories.  

  

Featured post on IndiBlogger, the biggest community of Indian Bloggers

This Blog Train has been hosted by Ila Varma and sponsored by brand Ang-tatva in a bid to unravel the past memories of childhood, Khatta-Mitha experiences and to unearth the glorious times spent with our siblings. The time to recall those times and bring back a bit of innocence in our life…After all, Dil to Bachcha hai Jee.

 

Reasons to Trust Mother Sparsh Baby Wet Wipes!

The Baby Wet wipes have gathered the great attention of Moms within a decade and they find useful for their babies. It is easy to carry and comes with a policy, “use & throw” so no botheration of washing or gathering mess around. Single-use wet baby wipes have thronged the market for new-born, toddlers and kids. Each brand pronounces about their USP’s to gather customer attention.

Earlier, cotton and muslin cloth was used to clean the bums after pee and potty and to clean the baby after feeding, playing etc. There was a concern of washing and drying and it was a real botheration to carry on travels or on outings. The Moms feared going on errands with kids rather more plans were postponed. The introduction of single-use baby wet wipes relieved mothers with the responsibility of carrying cloth wipes and washing them. It brought tremendous changes in the life of a Mom and she sighed with a great relief finding baby wet wipes in her custody.
Comfort of Using Baby Wet Wipes
 
* Easy to use

* Comfortable to clean babies bum
* Soft on Baby skin
* Multiple uses to clean babyface, after feeding, play hours
* On travel, wet wipes take good care of the babies hygiene
 * The toys can be wiped clean by wet wipes
 * Wet wipes take care of cleaning running nose
 * Babies love the mild fragrance of the wipes
 * Moms can use to clean their face after a hectic schedule
 * You can use wet wipes to clean dining space mess
 * Best for cleaning shoes of babies and parents. Leather shoe sparkle
 * Wet wipes can be used to clean baby accessories
 * It can be used to clean public toilet seats
 * Multipurpose
Mothers are very alert with regard to the articles used for her baby and she tries her best to verify the products before using it for her baby. She goes through reviews, discusses with experienced Moms…she is total action before choosing the product finally for her baby.
Mother Sparsh Baby Wet Wipes
 
 
 
 
 * Bio-degradable
 * Eco-friendly
 * Cotton Fabric
 * 98% Pure Water
 * Infused with Vitamin E, Aloe Vera & Jojoba Oil
 * PH balanced
 * Affordable
 * One piece is enough for a single use, good tensile strength
 * Attractive packaging
Each month, I buy India’s 1st water-based wipes Brand Mother Sparsh Baby Wet wipes online. I buy a large pack for home use and small packs for errands and tours. One small pack of wipes is parked in our car as we both prefer long drives and our weekend is spent in nearby locations. One small pack is always stacked in my purse.
I rely on Mother Sparsh Baby Wet wipes after I conducted Flame Test. The test verified the absence of plastic and harmful chemicals and confirmed the presence of a high volume of water, Vitamin E and cotton fabric. Cotton and water both are soothing on the children skin and takes care of babies’ skin. No diaper rashes or peeling of the skin and baby and Mamma both are happy with the results of Mother Sparsh Baby Wet wipes. I too use for myself, it has replaced my handkerchief.
The product of Mother Sparsh is genuine and it is easily available on online shopping portals, Shop Now.
I and my Mom group are happy with Mother Sparsh Baby Wet Wipes and we are a regular customer.
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Special Bonding – Sibling Love! #SiblingStories

Life is one, yet we are connected with so many people. I too have #SiblingStories and I am eager to share….and Yes, I got a chance to share.

#SiblingStories is a blogging train hosted by varmaila in collaboration with the Brand Ang-Tatva...Esteemed bloggers from blogging fraternity have joined hands to participate in the Blog train for #SiblingTalk reviving the sweet and tickling hours spent with loving siblings and revive golden memories of the past. 
We are 3 siblings. I am the youngest and pampered one born on Valentine Day 14th Feb, J moody at times, childlike at heart.
My Great Brother



I am blessed to have an elder brother who pamper me like a kid. He has always been naughty among all three of us. Our parents gave us great values that have nurture us not only as a person but overall as a good human being. Thanks to them for their love and unconditional support.

Among all three, I have always been a pampered child. I was young in the family so everyone used to listen to my wishes.  I used to have pillow fights with my brother, He used to pull my hair and run away. Then I used to cry louder and seek everyone’s sympathy.

 And then do I need to tell you?

Hahaha. My mummy used to do what… Brother Ki pitai. To honi he thi…
Kabhi Chappal, Kabhi Belan …

My parents used to scold him and ask him — is it a way to treat a younger sister and I used to feel aahhhhh. And wow… “Fir Kya” bas patch up. Happy ending with gifts and chocolate J

I remember when I had my school board exams, my brother used to drop me at board examination centre and he used to wait for full 3 hours till my exam gets over. That time it was a normal thing for me. But now when I think, I feel happy and blessed to be loved by all. That is all about #siblinglove
My Elder Sister

I have an elder sister too who is more like a mom to me, then a sister. She used to live with my granny (nani) more often and visits during weekends. So when she used to visit us, she was given a special treatment. My mother used to make special dishes.

She has always been responsible and favorite of all. Very respectful, sincere, caring loving and affectionate. In brief, I have inherited from my sis being a social and well-mannered child.

I am blessed to have a sister like her. There were times when I used to feel little annoyed with her over my mom’s inclination towards her. Because she is very understanding, so obviously, mom’s favorite. But over a period of time, I began to realise that there is nothing wrong in it. Parents love all their children alike.

Parents love is unconditional. They never demand anything from us in return.
I remember I was in class VII preparing for my history paper. I was so nervous that I fell ill. I was confused about a few chapters. My sister had helped me at that time. She explained each and every line of the chapter. That made me so confident that I never felt nervous again. I learned the technique of learning.

From that day onwards, I clearly understood that mugging up things won’t help me in the longer run. It’s better to understand the concept and then write on it…it was her guidance that proved helpful in my life.

It’s all about sibling love and the bonding that we 3 share. It’s so beautiful to do write up on this topic that I am feeling short of words. Sibling love is beautiful. Lots of fights, tears of joy, ocean of emotions and happy endings. All that matters when comes to #SiblingStories #SiblingTalk #Siblinglove.

Follow the host on FacebookTwitter & Insta.

To reach the starting point of blog train, hop onto varmaila.com and Click here at the linky links to read interesting tales of #SiblingStories.

Pooja Budhiraja, a working mom, a blogger, social media influencer and a homemaker. I believe one should follow his/her dreams religiously and never say No before trying. Life is about Khatta-Meetha experiences and through this post I would like to bring back a few bits of lost innocence.

PC: Pooja Budhiraja

An Essential Wear of a Modern Girl! #Zivame

The Camisole was essential to wear of man and women in olden days, the history of existence dates back to the medieval era. It was a long simple loose piece worn as underwear underneath the clothing. Gradually, with the liberation of women and the emergence of fashion fiesta in 1920, it underwent tremendous changes in shapes, sizes, fabric, and appearance.

This was the advent of modern camisole sets which came in tights to accentuate the curves or cover up the extra bulges giving a modern look and best shape to feminine beauty.
Today, it has become an indispensable essential of a modern girl and a women wardrobe.
How Camisole Gained Prominence
Initially, camisoles were introduced as underwear underneath the clothing to cover up and were worn under dresses. The teens and women found it comfortable and slid under bedcover with a camisole as fancy nightwear. By 1980, it came into vogue as Sexy lingerie styles and it traveled from the closed doors of the bedroom to the outer world. The long up to the pelvic, mid waist, cropped and bust length fashion flourished in the market and it ushered as outerwear. The demand increased and the fashion designers embarked on designing fancy camisoles frilled with laces in satin, linen and lingerie fabric in fancy hues, different shapes, and sizes suitable for women of all age, shapes, and sizes.
Camisole Wear in Trend
Camisole gaining prominence as outerwear ushered the market with utmost trendy designs and the modern girl found it versatile, appealing and sexy outfit. They started wearing in sync with different outfits matching with comfort, fashion, and season.
  • Comfortable for Women Athletes: A simple long camisole with wide straps up to pelvic are worn by women athletes over a sports bra. It gives support to bust and is comfortable and absorbs sweat easily. It is the best option to wear in summers and they find themselves at ease.
  • Easy Wear for Exercise: Camisoles is a comfortable wear for women who give time to her body to maintain her frame and girth. No tension of bulges or curves peeping out or riding up in exercise session and it gives flexibility in turns and twists.
  • Glamorous Party Wear: A teen wishes to flaunt her sexy strapless or thin strap pretty silk or satin camisole over tight jeans or frilled skirts. It is much in vogue with a tube or strapless bra. In winters, she has the option to wear a short jacket in match or contrast to her outfit. In summers, a stole around the neck will give a chic look.
  • Summer Wear: Thin straps or string camisoles are comfortable in summers and goes well with a skirt, shorts, capris, and wraparound. Loose ones go well with tight minis and skirts. The wear can be chosen based upon the choice and comfort of the wearer.
  • Winter Wear: Long cotton, Lycra or spandex can be worn in layers in biting cold season under sweatshirts and sweaters. It keeps warm as well as it has the potential to give a slimming appearance.
  • Autumn Wear: When the sun is hot and the evenings colder, these can be worn under shirts paired with jeans, trousers or skirts. Wear a beautiful design camisole under a shirt and fitting bra underneath, so that one has the option to take off shirt when it is hot.
Varieties of camisoles are available in the market and on online portals of varied trendy designs, fabrics and price range. Click here and grab the ones that attract you and matches your style. Adorn your wardrobe with a colorful and sexy camisole and walk in grace and style…the craziest outfit of a modern woman.
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We are the Pillars of Strength to Each Other! #SiblingStories

#SiblingStories is a blogging train hosted by Ila Varma in collaboration with the Brand Ang Tatva. 32 esteemed bloggers from blogging fraternity have joined hands to participate in the Blog train to Talk about their Siblings to revive the sweet and tickling hours spent with their cute siblings and unearth the golden memories of the past. In the fast pace of life, the array of emotions, sweet and sour, salt & pepper gets buried. The blogger and the host of this campaign, Ila Varma love to divulge in the past and unwrap the pleasant stories of #SiblingTalk.

Mrinal Madhukar shares his unusual experience reminiscing the time spent with his younger bro. Let’s hear his story in his own words.


Featured post on IndiBlogger, the biggest community of Indian Bloggers

There are few memories we always cherish, no matter how old we grow with them but they remain close to your heart because it is about someone with whom we are close and dear with – Our Sibling. Being the eldest one among the two of us – Brothers, our relation is somewhat like one where both of us look at each other and ensure the other is always away from any kind of problem. Of course, it matters that we exchange the pleasantries, talk to each other and wish on the important days but actually, both of us expect and to matter is to stand for each other whenever the either of us is in need.

“ Because brothers don’t let each other wander in the dark alone.”– Jolene Perry

Looking back, we were never really the actual naughty kind of kids while growing up. We had a different equation, back then in the era of late 90’s and early millennium, playing cricket was a core activity that both of us used to do together. Though it was just about regular colony cricket, there was a lot of planning that went in for that, and we would be regularly scolded for putting ball marks on the walls by throwing back and forth on it. That is a good strong memory of growing up, I remember how my little brother would take the bat away if he was not convinced that he was out, sounds funny when I recollect now. That was then and there, but as we grew up, we chose our paths where we wanted to see ourselves placed in life and today, fortunately, we both of us have realized our dream.
I know my brother is guided more by the emotions, and his passion for writing took him past the regular crowd of engineering and placed him there. That was some time of our lives when in the final year of his engineering, he dropped me a message stating how badly he wanted to be something else. At first, I was astonished, he had trusted me to let it out to the family and try my best to make it work, but I guess that is what the elder ones are supposed to, use their “elder wand” and help their younger ones to come out and face the world with their passion.
 Somehow, everyone in the family took it well, and I loved how brilliantly my brother in no time pushed himself and carved a niche for himself in the world of journalism. Every time I think about it, I feel proud of him.
We both are not that expressive when it comes to telling “Hey Brother I love you” but it is understood between us. I try taking lead to be there for him, my overprotection does get irritating for him at times. I am aware of my habit of being an overprotective irritant but I guess I will be so as long as I live, coz I guess that’s what Brothers do, silently be there for one another. And like I always wish for and say, no matter what I do, I want him to watch him achieving the best of everything in the world and make it bigger than all of us.
There is a marginal difference of two years and 3 months but we have a respect for each other. When I see other kids fighting, cribbing or blaming each other, I too wish to get into such situation with my bro…but we never indulged. We are different, we hardly exchanged bitter words. Being elder, I succumbed to his childish demands and never ever complained. Once or twice, I spanked him but he never retaliated or get into action…he cried and that was enough to tear my heart out…and say sorry.
We are different in many terms but still, an unseen force attracts us and we are indeed the pillar of strength for each other. He fills my shortcomings and I conceal his and we work together on our strength.

When I feel low or defeated, I look for his assurance that all will be well. On the emotional front, I am emotional and his lookout is quite practical. He guides me on these moments where I feel stuck.

May this compatibility and partner in crime remains the same throughout life.

I love him and wish to have him as my sibling in my next life.

“ Nothing can stop me from loving my brother.”– Brandy Norwood

Read next series of #SiblingStories contributed by Misha Jain.

#SiblingStories Blog Train is hosted by Ila Varma in association with #angtatva.
Follow the host on FacebookTwitter & Insta.
To reach the starting point of blogtrain, hop onto varmaila.com and follow the linky
links to read interesting tales of #SiblingTalk.

Ready to Catch Up Blog Train with Sibling Stories! #SiblingStories #SiblingTalk

#SiblingStories is a blogging train hosted by Ila Varma in collaboration with the Brand Ang Tatva. 31 esteemed bloggers from blogging fraternity have joined hands to participate in the Blog train to Talk about their Siblings to revive the sweet and tickling hours spent with their cute siblings and unearth the golden memories of the past. In the fast pace of life, the array of emotions, sweet and sour, salt & pepper gets buried. The blogger and the host of this campaign, Ila Varma love to divulge in the past and unwrap the pleasant stories of #SiblingTalk.
The blog train journey is kicking on 07-10-2018 and it will reach the final destination on the eve of Bhai Dooj on 09-11-2018.
It is going to be a long month of celebration along with the festivals Durga Puja & Diwali. Be ready to read wonderful posts shared by the 31 Bloggers of their real-life experiences.
Being a writer, off and on, ideas flare up and this year on the eve of Rakshabandhan, an idea sprang to introduce a Blog train on the topic Sibling and unravel the glorious time spent with the siblings. 
A bond which appears inseparable in childhood days but with the passage of time, obligations of family, job, and marriage drift us apart. The emotional bonding continues but we miss the frictions, petty fights, being partner in crime, competition, fun, plays etc. We meet after a long interval and try to be coherent with each other. Rationalization in relationships mars the innocence and never ever the days come back when we cribbed at each other, fought with Mom that he/she was more loved, partnered in mischief etc.
This blog journey will help us to cherish those moments once again to bring back our lost innocence and a wide smile on our faces reminiscing those unforgettable moments.
The first participant of the series #SiblingStories, #SiblingStories is Misha Jain.
Blog Train is hosted by @varmaila in association with Ang-Tatva.
Follow the host on Twitter & Insta.
To reach the starting point of blog train, hop onto varmaila.com and follow the linky links to read interesting tales of #SiblingTalk.
Click to Add Blog Links

Bollywood Movies Redefine the Boundaries of Love & Romance!

Most Bollywood movies have always been written by an ink, dipped in love and romance. Love and romance is a subject which quips the heart of the people of all ages.
Gradually, Bollywood movies are redefining the precincts of love and romance with quirky twists in their tales. It can be said that they have moved out or above the line in their storyline and it is proving better for the audience.
There are movies which prove the mettle of their film directors. Through these movies, they try to create something new for the audience, and it strikes the right chord of the audiences.
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Ae Dil Hai Mushkil: Karan Johar’s take on romance is quite different in Ae Dil Hai Mushkil compared to his previous movies. The storyline is contemporary and progressive, and in the lead are Ranbir Kapoor, Anushka Sharma, Fawad Khan and Aishwarya Rai. Ranbir and Anushka meet at a club, and they settle down as best friends. Both have their own love life, but something’s not right in their respective relationships and both decide to move out of those relationships. An unusual take in the movie, Ranbir and Anushka decide to celebrate their break up and head for Paris together. Eventually, Ranbir develops an unrequited love for Anushka. From there, the movie is a heartfelt view of what happens in a one-sided love story.
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Love Aaj Kal: The movie, Love Aaj Kal directed by Imtiaz Ali has tried to tell the audience the difference of love and relationships in the past and in the current scenario. The film features Saif Ali Khan, Deepika Padukone and Rishi Kapoor in the lead.
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Barfi:  An unusual story of love and sacrifice where the lover sets her lover free for the sake of his happiness. Barfi is played by Ranbir Kapoor, Shruti by Ileana and Jhilmil by Priyanka Chopra and all have justified their roles in their respective character. The direction of Anurag Basu has given a twist to the romantic tale of Barfi.
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Silvat: Silvat is a movie of an intense romance and the powerful acting of the two characters, Kartik Aaryan and Meher Mistry in the character of Anwar & Noor. It glues the audience to the narrative and stirs unsaid emotions. The director, Tanuja Chandra’s attempt, is very decent, clean and powerful.
The idea of romance in Silvat is unlike the romance we see today. Click here to see how the plot takes the audience back to 90’s where emotions were heartfelt but mostly unspoken. In most part of the movie, Anwar and Noor’s attention is glued to each other, and with just that attention, Noor never feels the absence of her husband who had moved abroad just after their marriage.
Silvat means a temporary crease and the unexpressed love of Anwar and Noor justifies the title.
So, basically, Bollywood movies are moving to a new direction to create something different, redefining the concept of love and romance and that is a welcome sign for the audience.
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7 Important Conversations Before Getting Hitched!

                                                                 Source
Getting engaged or ready to tie the knot gives a feeling of immense joy and happiness and the would-be couple is transported to the world of fantasy, whether it is Love or Arrange marriage.
The would-be strangers or lovebirds are hooked over the phone for long hours, incessant texting, love waiting for the call, love each other bickering, concern, been questioned, childish behavior etc…but it is limited to this honeymoon period. Once one is hitched, these things appear to be a burden and the cribbing start and both people that their freedom is breached.
I believe that it is far better to have a few discussions before entering into a lifelong commitment. Earlier people had a view that the boy or the girl would change after marriage and would readily adjust with each other and it happened. There were reasons for adjustments; joint family, supervision of elders, the couple were mentally and financially dependent on their families. With time, the concept changed and now even parents don’t feel like getting into suggestions and the young couple is at loggerheads because of their rigidity and both are not ready to accept each other views or suggestions, they take it as their independence and freedom breached.

The conversation between Love Birds

Before Marriage

Spouse 1: Where were you for so long dear? I don’t like and get concerned.

Spouse 2: Sorry dear, it won’t be repeated again, will keep you informed if ever I get late.

Gives Feeling of care and belonging and they love the concern of each other.

After marriage, if same dialogue is exchanged. They snap at each other.

Reply of the Spouse for the same above question: Don’t intrude in my personal hemisphere, neither I am too small to be guided nor I wish to answer silly questions.

Gives feeling of freedom breached or being nagged.

To be away from these craps, better have an open discussion so that things are smoothened in the future.
Why not arrange a meeting with the would-be once they zero–in their choices and discuss the points openly…at that moment, both are free and there are no bindings…if they find each other interesting and amicable, go with it else both are free to walk in their own direction…without hampering emotions.
7 Important Conversations Before Tying the Knot
 
 
·       Personal Habits
 
Discuss personal habits that you feel you cannot drop after marriage as habits differ of individuals. There are people who cannot accept the habits of another and they find difficult in adjustments, such as sleeping habits, snoring, boozing, personal hygiene, and chewing tobacco etc. The couple has to share room and belongings, so both should be comfortable with each other. There are people who have great aversions accepting each other habits.
·       Interest in Kids & Sharing Responsibilities
 
There are people who love to get into marriage but not comfortable with the idea of having kids and sharing responsibilities. Discuss the take and if both of you find compatible with the idea, move on. This is a major issue and often takes an ugly turn if their ideas don’t match.
·       Finances & Financial Independence
 
Finance is the integral point of discussion for the couples, where both are working or either one is working. Everyone has their own standard of living and spending money. Some can be conservative and some frugal, so it should be openly discussed. Assets and liabilities need to be shared before tying the knot.
·       Career
 
In an era, where both are professionally independent, it is better to discuss how one accepts family life along with professional commitments. Both ends require ample time and devotion so take on the professional front should be discussed. Some are ready to adjust and compromise for the sake of family while the workaholic chunks give much importance to the profession. Discuss clearly and understand each other take on the subject.
·       Delegation of Domestic Chores
 
Normally, it is taken as a women domain and most of them enjoy delivering it but in the long run, they feel exhausted. There are few who cannot adjust to this domain. Discuss your interests and be ready to help each other rather than binding to gender. Sharing responsibilities keeps the couple closer and they enjoy in delivering the duties.
·       Responsibility of Parents
 
In spite of nuclear families, at any point of time, the matter comes into the light of taking the responsibilities of parents when they turn oil or suffer from any illness. Discuss this point because at times ideas mismatch and result in sourness in the relationship. If you have personal and financial responsibilities of parents, do share in and know each other views. Every child cannot be comfortable with the idea of old age homes and it can greatly hamper their relationships.
·       Beliefs & Culture
 
Two people from two different families conjoin to enter into a marital chord. Few are conservative in beliefs and culture and wish to see their partner follow. Some are flexible and they don’t want to enter into the obligation of beliefs and culture. Discuss each other choices and how either can adjust, accept or can take further.
During courtship days or during the honeymoon period, the would-be couples and new couples are far from reality and they don’t feel the requirement of above-discussed points.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment and to sail smoothly do indulge in discussing the above points. If both of you find compatible at these fronts or ready to change and accept each other habits, choices and flaws…certainly go for it.
I am ready for the brickbats, I will catch them and build a new house  😂😎😎

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Are Relationships of A Couple Just a Piece of Paper?

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Once marriage was considered as a sacred institution and love and commitment was the essence of the couple relationship.
Since a few years, the term marriage has undergone transformation and it has more become a pact of convenience…the current generation thinks so and has started believing…consequence broken homes.
People get attracted to Love and love to sail through but when asked for marriage…some back out or buy time…the reason, they (both the gender) are not willing to get into commitment…a fear of losing individuality, freedom, career etc.
Within a few decades, divorce has become common and the reasons for separation are petty and flimsy, in most of the cases. There are cases of mental and physical abuse and it is equally faced by both the gender. The fair sex cases are more reported in comparison to the male because male ego does not let the reality of abuse escape in the society.
These days, there is a huge discussion on different online forums and the way the people describe at times leaves me in disbelief, wondering

“Is the Relationship of a Couple Mere a Piece of Paper?”

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I find the given Reasons flimsy and a phase of time that will pass soon but people are reluctant to continue the relationship and start looking for walking out of marriage and suing each other.
For the purpose of educating people, who are in a relationship or are contemplating should very well know that these petty reasons are not valid to break the sanctity of marriage.
Reasons put up by the Couples



1.  Adjustment with In-Laws

Both the partners come from different background, tradition, and culture whether it is arranged marriage, inter-caste or inter-religion marriage. In the initial phase, it will take time for both the partners to accept another set of parents and give equality care to them. This is to be understood by both the partners and if any one of them is not at par, then make the partner understand the things coolly instead of locking horns. If required take the help of parents to overcome the weird feelings of each other. With the passage of time, bonding will develop if the interest would be there to maintain a relationship. Mostly girl’s feels bonded in the adjustment issue with the in-laws and it is the right of the boys to make their partner understand and things can be improved by understanding, love, and patience. Putting blame on each other, contemplating suicide or divorce is a childish behavior and it should never be thought of.
2.  Compatibility Issues

Another major issue that crops up in the marriage is the compatibility issue.  The partners are not ready to accept each other interests and flaws. Just compare yourself with your siblings and same age friends does your mental and physical wavelength matches. It never would be the same though brought up by the same set of parents, there is a huge difference in the behavior of siblings. How can you dream of a compatible partner? The interests, hobbies, skills won’t match rather in most of the cases, it is just the opposite. The couple should work on each other strength and try to help to overcome their flaws. It won’t happen in a day, it will take years, so accept the partner and try to nurture by love and care. Over-demanding, cribbing, and nagging won’t reap fruits of love and affection. Don’t conclude to walk out of marriage because of the compatibility issue. These are the things which can be straightened by love, patience and being happy.
3.  Looking for Equality

There is no match in the male and the female, both are physically and mentally different hence the power of doing things and accepting things are different. Don’t compare and try to compete with each other. A woman is strong and has the ability to go through the nerve-wracking labor pain for bearing a child. A man is physically strong but mentally, he is not stable as a woman. A woman can withstand adversity of any kind but a man succumbs easily. Accept each other potentials and help each other in time of crisis.

It is said,

“If you educate a man, you educate one man but if you educate a woman, you educate a family. ”  It is a bare fact.

4.  Second Child Issue

With time, raising a child has gone great transformation and there are cribbing amongst couple for the number of child in the family. Mostly, the first child is welcome but a difference arises in case of a second child. If the wife desires, husband denies and vice-versa. It becomes a major issue of conflict between the couples who have a difference in opinion and both seem to feel that they are been denied of their rights. Don’t fight for it or make an issue. Understand each other point and if you both are physically and financially stable, gift your child a cute sibling. Companionship is important for a child.
5.  Career & Profession

A man becomes eligible for marriage if he is working and financially sound. These days, girls too are working and many families look for a working girl for the alliance. After marriage, in many cases, it becomes a major issue of difference and the couple is at loggerheads. Accept each other professional commitment and adjust accordingly. Check the priorities and though women are working still the major population of the working chunk are males. The males have the responsibility of looking after their family commitments though women too are contributing at large. Mostly, women have to give up and take a temporary leave to take care of a child. The male should support her emotionally and help her out to fight with the guilt of leaving the job. It is an important phase of life and a mother’s lap is the first school of the child. There are cases where a woman has a stable job compared to her man, so judge the priorities and take decision accordingly.
6.  Financial Imbalance

Financial imbalance calls for a lot of trouble in the relationship of a couple. Life is a roller coaster ride and life can be fraught with difficult times. Stand by each other in time of crisis and boost the morale of each other and be the strength to your partner. Don’t curse or abuse your fate or your partner, it is the time phase and this shall pass. Helping each other will go a long way in establishing a long-lasting strong relationship.
Through my post, I request all the couples not to react on these petty and flimsy reasons. There is nothing to fret and fight and walk out of the bonding of marriage.
A couple relationship is a relationship of give and take, both submit to each other physically, emotionally and mentally and a mere piece of paper cannot break the relationship easily.
In cases where you feel low and shattered, communicate with each other with love and concern and give enough space to each other to breathe. The decision taken in haste is futile, give time to assess the pros and cons.
After going through a mess of separation and divorce, partners will be left alone and the scar of losing each other will always be there.

The relationship is just like planting a seed, it takes time to germinate, grow, flower and give fruits. Just as we nurture plants to grow, the same way, we should nurture the relationship and give time to grow.
It takes years to build and seconds to raze, the choice is yours.
Many would criticize my take. I am ready for the brick batting but do give time to think and realize the importance of the relationship.

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Mommies Dilemma – How to Manage Early Teenagers?

Motherhood comes with a baggage of responsibilities and care. When we are blessed with a bundle of joy, our spirits are high and we feel on top of the world. To take good care of our tiny tot, we require to be good at multi-tasking, time management with a fair speed to finish off chores. As the days roll by, we find the journey of motherhood tough. We console ourselves that in a span of a few years, we will have hours of relaxation, once the kids grow up. It’s true, the physical strain lessens as the child grows but the mental anxiety starts growing as the child enters near teens.
The docile and sweet child turns violent and blurts out if scolded or pinpointed at their mistakes or coils into their cocoon and want to stay isolated.
This is the phase of the dilemma for Parents…but I insist on Mommies because Mums are more stressed by the changing behavior of their children and she tries her best to pacify things to normal.
Reasons for Behavioural Change
 
Physiological & Psychological Changes
 
Eminent changes and transformations take place within a teenager. Development of breast, an onset of periods, acne and pimples, increase in size of reproductive organs of a male child, growth of pubic hair, voice change, an onset of puberty etc., takes place in both boys and girls. The transition from childhood to early teens is cumbersome due to physical changes. The child is confused with the changes taking place in them and initially, they are not comfortable with the changes. They coil in their shells and don’t wish to talk about it or share with their parents and siblings.
Mood swings, wanting to take decisions independently, attraction towards opposite sex, sexual arousal are some of the reasons which bring adamant changes in the child who is at the threshold of teens and they prefer to stay aloof.
 With the frequent physical and psychological changes, they find tough to cope with the demands of the body and it is tough for them to maintain sync.
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How to Maintain the Balance
Recall your days of childhood when you were stepping into teenage and how you felt those days. Keep yourself in their shoes and handle them tactfully.
•    Never say, “I was not of this type”
 
You must have been more or less in the same shape and your Mom would have faced difficulty in taming you. If you say, “I was not of this type”, the child will feel humiliated and get enraged. Talk to them that you felt the same in your teens and it took time for you to adjust due to different hormonal and emotional changes. Ask them to accept the changes as it is natural transformation.
•    Be Friendly
 
Don’t create boundaries with the children. Play with them, watch movies and programmes with them and discuss and debate on any topic under the sun. Give them the privilege to discuss their problems, educate them about good and bad touch, sex education and to respect both the sex equally. Lend your ear and respect their views. Listen and stay calm. Be a child in the company of your child.
•    Be Polite & Firm in Your Approach
 
Don’t scold on the slightest pretext. Keep yourself soft and calm. Instead of pinpointing the mistakes and shouting at them, be watchful and cautious in approach. Watch their activities silently and if you find something odd in their activity, explain to them. Accept their mistakes as it is normal for a human to err and each one of us learn from trial and error. Explain to them the pros and cons of their mistakes and tell them firmly not to repeat it in future. Explaining things with the cool mind will help them to realize their folly but if you start getting stern with them, it will misfire the situation. Teenagers melt if handled with love and affection and your righteous approach can tame them.
•    Better Practice than Imposing
 
Being a parent, adopt all the principles, rules and regulations into practice and then ask your child to follow. This method is better for a small child too, but with teens, you first need to rectify yourself and then you can see them following. If you give sermons, they can react and can seek explanations for imposing on them. The child first school is home and gradually, they will pick up the traits that you follow. Follow positive traits if you want to see it develop in your children.
•    Accept the Changes
 
You cannot expect your child to be timid all way. If he questions you, don’t fret and fume. They are growing and they have the right to be assertive. Listen to them, reply to their questions and give them the space to grow.
•    Help them to Be Independent
 
Don’t be overprotective. Give them the independence to choose their dresses, passion, and activities. Let them follow their ambition and hobbies. If you find their aim undesirable, you should have valid explanations to validate it.
•    Trust Your Child
 
The children need the support and trust of their parents. Trust them but don’t go blind in love. Be caring and supportive and a mute spectator. If you find any activity annoying or wrong, explain them with patience. Don’t compel them else they will turn rebellious. Participate in their activities, befriend their friends, plan outings with their friends and invite them at home. It will help you to know them more.
•    Keep Them Engaged
 
Encourage to pursue their hobbies. It will help them to be engaged and won’t get surplus time to brood. Creative things attract the growing mind and they will devote 100% of their time. Hobbies help them to ignore sexual upsurges which are quite normal at their age. Give them the freedom to pursue their own hobbies, it will build their imaginative and creative powers.
All suggestions won’t work in all the children so as a parent, you require to be diligent in taming them. The teens who are at a threshold of Teens are more vulnerable and they require patience to tame them.
Your Love, Support and Silence will help them to pass this phase easily.
My Experience
 
While raising my children,
I never forgot my volatile days of teens and my reactions.
I became a child with them and enjoyed passing time with them.
I befriended their friend of both gender and gave them the freedom to call at home.
Never distinguished between BF & GF but warned them about the phase that all go and how to handle it sincerely.
I accompanied them on outings.
I gave them the space to grow, be independent, choose their hobbies and watched them closely and silently with a smile sailing on my face.
I was soft and firm in my approach. I stuck to my promises and never ditched them.
It was a roller coaster ride for me with lots of turbulence and finally, my silence and patience rewarded me.

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