Pranav, My Fantastico and I started from Chandigarh early in the morning for Shimla for a weekend. We wanted to celebrate our second anniversary in the lap of nature, far away from the maddening crowd and in privacy been just, we two, with ample time for each other. I craved for close proximity, fancied to see his eyes brimming with love and lust and secretly prying on my curves & make me feel wanted and desired. I too wanted to surrender myself in his warm embrace and feel his breath pouring on me endlessly…My innate desires.
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We both worked in the corporate world in Delhi and rarely had we time for each other in weekdays. It would be a totally packed up days with loads of work at office and thanks to the tech world, we had to be at our wits ends laced with Androids n tablet which followed even during the nature call. It was enough that we could see each other and feel the presence.
The nature of work was similar of both of us; research & target based both running towards our goal ignoring the inner cravings, longing for moments of togetherness in solitude, a touch or a hug. We did touch, shake hands or hug each other but due to time constraints all was mechanical, the real feelings missed or was suppressed and couldn’t flare up. In handshake rather than sensing the touch of our hands, we sensed the gadgets that our handheld. Even on bed the act we indulged in was a kind of mechanical, I stress on mechanical; seldom we indulged in foreplay. We indulged only when libido couldn’t control us.
There were times when Pranav ‘s or mine urges were high in the early morning, but the wall clock dangling in front didn’t permit and it had to be abandoned with a meaningless Sorry. I insist on meaningless because it truly did not hold any meaning if we really meant then we would have tried at another time. We had become totally mechanical and running with time for money. This was our life and I feel most of us are leading this kinda.
We loved each other more than anything but in marriage, there is an ample importance of touch and feel. It adds spark to the relationship and the three golden words, “I Love You” signifies the whole eternity into it. I badly desired “me” time with my pal Mr. Fantastico to listen to the peppy tunes and surrender ourselves in each other’s arms, but on the way we were treading, dreadful dreams navigated into the crevices of mind.In solitude when I look into those moments, I feel that it isn’t easy and the relationship won’t stand long if we continue with this pace.
To be continued…..Story Part II
© Ila Varma 2015
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