Uff, Yeh Mummyian!!

Recently, I visited one of my acquaintance. Actually, I was invited to attend the birthday celebration of my acquaintance,( don’t call a friend, because she is not too close to be a friend.)

We all took our place in the living room and all were in elated mood enjoying the exchange of chit chats.

Aadat anushaar, my eyes fell on her son.Mummy busy with friends and beta busy with mobile.

I inquired as to what he was busy with. His Mom said that he is playing online games.

I don’t encourage kids to play online games nor encourage them to use internet without parental guidance.

I told her that it is not fair for a 5 year old to be hooked on mobiles.

My acquaintance proudly said that he is efficient to play games for a stretch of four hours and more.

I have habit of giving free advice, “itna paisa kyun barbaad kar rahi ho, uselessly.”

“Ila di, paisa kahan lag raha. JIO ka free package hai, using it jab tak free hai”

“Uske baad?” I asked.

“Spending money for online games, Na Baba. Mobile will be locked in almirah.” She said in tashaan.

“What about his habit?” I don’t believe in losing my bet.

“Sab theek ho jayega.” She replied with overconfidence.

I chose to keep quiet but my mind was racing.

Was she been fair to her child? The child is innocent and they pick the habits as you mould. He is just 5 years, he can’t weigh the pros n cons nor he knows about  free n paid package. Once you are letting him to develop the habit n afterwards the privilege will be snatched.

Isn’t he been cheated by his role models?

How can one think of kids been disciplined?

We point to kids if they misbehave and act stubborn, there are valid reason to his misbehavior.

In his initial years, if he stumbles the parents are directly responsible for it.

I kept quiet and moved after having my share in party.

My mind was confused and I felt pity for the child and felt scared what would follow the day JIO withdraws it’s free service.

Is the behavior of a parent justified and many queries clouded my mind.

I could only say, Uff, Yeh Mummyian.

Disclaimer: It’s my personal observation n I felt need to share with the parents to think of it to justify the child’s rights n behavior. No intention of offending anyone.

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Parenting Needs Reformation!

I am not sure if my views will be welcomed or not by the parents of today. I have decided to keep up my views in front of parents of today n make them realize their follies while parenting the kids, I am using the kids bcoz the present generation is in so hurry or insecure that they inspire for a single child, without giving a second thought from the perspective of their child…they think more of themselves n pursue the things in which they are comfortable.

The first thing that I dislike about current couple is that they go for no child or a single child.

If one is not going for a child that means that the couple is not competent enough to take the responsibility of a child or fears commitment and their marriage is just for pleasure n a partner. No grudges for this couple as they are not risking the life of a child, they aren’t comfortable with bearing, it’s well n good, it’s your life as you take it.

The couple who settles for a single child is not at all doing justice to the child. You may ask me, “How”. You are isolating your child n blessing him with the burden of loneliness & over-attention of parents. The strings of love n affection are very selfish & possessive and your all expectations n desires are on that single child and the child feels the heat of it, as he grows up. The parents will be over-caring n overprotective n he alone will have to suffer the brunt of it.

Further, the couple is depriving the child of the right of having siblings. No matter, how much time and affection the couple gives, still the child feels the lack of siblings and they become selfish, self centered and ask for more attention and they throw lot of tantrums or are very introvert.

I request all the couples to think twice and take right decision  not to snatch their sibling. The kids feel the need of a companion and when the parents bid goodbye, at least they have a shoulder to cry on or share their emotions.

Secondly, the parents of today are quite liberal in providing things to the kid and highly ambitious to see their child top in the class.

At times, I feel like laughing at the parents when they say, “I fulfill the total desires of my child, I don’t deprive of them as my parents deprived me of.”

“Are you doing the right thing?”

“No, you are playing with your child’s future n if the child is been provided the things with ease, they don’t feel the importance of the things and in the long run, they are casual.”

Emotionally, they turn out weak because you never gave them the opportunity to strive. As he wished, you procured the next day and so he takes it easily and in life, he can’t sustain a No to his demands and in the long run, the child turns into ego centric individual.

The demands of parents to see their child come out with cent per cent result too puts undue pressure on the child and the consequences are at times scary.

Identify your child’s potential n prune n mould him accordingly. A fish can swim in water, an elephant can’t. A horse can run fast but can’t swim in water, so in the best interests of the child, identify their interests n pursue accordingly. All children can’t become toppers.

To save your child from mental pressure, parents needs to reform their parenting pattern.

  1. Go for two children, gift your child a sibling.
  2. Make child understand the value of things n don’t fulfill your dreams through him & ruin his future.
  3. Don’t pressurize your child in academics.

The rising cases of suicides are also due to these reasons because they cannot handle pressure n they succumb to it.

Raise them with love & care, show them the middle path to follow.

Bring in change in handling kids and see the transformation within them and save the future of your children.

Yes, Parenting do need transformation, it’s my view.

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I Don’t Want To Go To School #Children #Bully

                                                                                                              here

Many times, children want to skip school n make vague
excuses to miss the school. Even in our childhood, we too try to invent or
discover reasons to put forth parents and guardians to miss school. It is not a
new thing. Recall the Champak n Nandan days…their stories too had stories of
kids trying to evade from attending school and made flimsy excuses of
health…and they spilled the beans when Doctor tried to give them an
injection…Oh wonderful days of childhood.


Man Lo, you have guests around that too the grandmothers or
Aunts of kids then they may try to find excuse to take a holiday from regular
schedule of classes…because these ladies really pamper the kids and they
don’t wish to miss the opportunity of fun n gifts….but if it becomes recurrent
and turns into something serious…Then, Be Alert…find out the reason behind.

When the child is literally not ready to attend the school…When
the grades are lowering or there is eminent change in his/ her behavior pattern…then…It’s a Warning for the parent.

Take the child into confidence and try to retrieve
information about his school, teachers and friends…figure out the reason or
meet their friends, teachers’ n neighbors and take note of his behavior with
them.

Recently, my friend Mira visited my place and told me that
her son Pratik was getting violent since few weeks, was not concentrating on
studies and was adamant not to attend the school. Her husband
suggested to see a psychologist for his changed behavior…he had become very
unruly and his parents were out of their wits.

In the beginning, he wasn’t supportive with the counselor but gradually he took his reins in his hand and it was concluded that the
reason was bullying at school by the school friends and though he complained to
his teacher, she did not pay much heed. The reason for not paying attention was
that he was a mediocre student and the teacher at large paid attention to high
scoring children and this discrimination changed his behavior n he wanted to
escape from attending the school on some pretext or the other and even he did
not keep well.

I was quite surprised to know because I never thought that
such things can take place at schools, which we look as a temple of education
and uniformity. I felt pity for Mira who had to face such extreme days but we
both were thankful to God that Pratik was counselled on time and he did not
lose his way. Today, he is absolutely normal and very punctual in his academics
and his scores are better than before. Mira and her husband identified and
helped Pratik on time.

But how many of us really delve deep when the child shudders
away from school…rather he is scolded and demoralized and sent to school and we
never think beyond him.
Be attentive to your child unruly reprimands, delve deep and
find out the reason fast else you might lose your child.

We often read or hear in news that the child committed
suicide after been bullied by the teachers or friends…this step is not taken in
a day.

These incidents take place because parents fail in their
duty to understand their child resentment and ignore child requests.

Be careful in handling your children. Be friendly and open
with your child so that he or she shares his fears without any fear…Still if
they do not disclose…meet school teachers and discuss the reason and if still
not sorted out, consult a child psychologist and get the issues diagnosed
immediately.

Give ears to your kids if they are reluctant…there might be
a valid reason to it.


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Disclaimer: The names and characters are fictitious, the incidents take place around us and my observation skill takes a note of it and I decided to discuss on my blog to create awareness among the masses.




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One Liner Wednesday- Paternity Leave

The New Pops burp their infants after each feed, change nappies without smirking and cuddle in the midst of night without second thought, hence paternity leave shouldn’t be denied….Musings of Ila Varma,2016.

Hue and Cry over #Paternity Leave in India…discussion roll over…some are in favor and some against…There was a time when Men did not take care of domestic issues like raising children rather they enjoyed with their friends while the womenfolk went through the pain of bearing kids and the ladies of the house co-operated to take care of new born. Now the time have changed and so the outlook of the Men and gender discrimination is gradually pacing out from society. Today’s youth take part in household activities and help their counterparts in raising children and household activities and take leaves to be available during childbirth and hence Paternity Leave is the need of the hour and it should not be denied….Leave For Papa is a Must….Pass The Bill & Bring Changes in Society.

 

Debate on YouTube: Discussions on Paternity Leave

 

#1linerWeds

My Take….Ila Varma 2016.

 

Don’ts for Swaddling – #Healthcare #Manipal Hospitals

                                                         Pic Credits: here

Swaddling is an old technique wherein the new-born baby is wrapped in a blanket or soft fabric as per the climate of the region. It is wrapped snuggly around baby’s body resembling the mother’s womb and it soothes new-born and calm the crying or irritated baby and induce them to sleep for long hours without giving discomfort to new mother and the people attending the baby.

For safe and effective swaddling, the baby should be on the back and it
should be wrapped in a befitting (neither loose nor tight) way that the baby
is able to breathe properly and can ease their limbs and thus, it was
advisable for swaddling of newborn under trained medical personnel
because a faulty wrapping can result in SIDS or Sudden infant death
This technique was advisable for just born to two months of baby’s life, but
the people benefited from this technique as they had to be less vigilant for
the baby so they continued the swaddling process for a longer duration
thereby posing threat to the child’s life.
The medical research and studies on swaddling have concluded that it is
fatal and one of the major causes of SIDS or Sudden infant death
syndrome, hence the medical fraternity are against this practice and
strictly discourages swaddling in view of the well-being of child and parents
thereby reducing the risk of Sudden infant death syndrome.
These days even newborn babies are active and curl on sides on their own
and it’s a sure risk if babies are swaddled. There are chances that the fabric
gets entangled with their bodies or cover their faces and they succumb due
to suffocation.
If a swaddled baby lies down on his stomach, the risk of SIDS is enhanced.
Swaddling raises the heat of the body and can lead to medical emergencies
or SIDS can occur due to overheating.
Wrong swaddling can damage his proper development, endanger his health
and can constrict breathing increasing the potential risk of SIDS.
Many companies are coming up with varieties of blankets, fabric or
fastener to swaddle the child to keep baby calm but it’s better to refrain
from using techniques revolving around swaddling and enjoy the bliss of
motherhood and parenthood.
A healthy crying child is better than an inactive sleeping child.
The new-born do keep the parents on toes but there is a magical bliss in
achieving the feat of been blessed by a child and this bundle do bring in
joys and cheers in life.
  Avoid swaddling, discover joyous moments in the cries of a baby.
The quote of APJ Kalam holds true, “The only day in your life …Your
mother smiled when you cried.”

Sponsored Post
 

Stop Violence Against Women – #Weird



                                                           Image Credits





Weird impressions clutches
Making me wild
And
Induce me
To sever
The bodies into pieces
Of the offenders
Ravishing the decency
Of the innocent
Daughters.

Snipping
The innocent buds
Before they blush
Disfiguring 
The beautiful bodies
Tainting
Their mind & soul
With fear of the devil.

The Men
With soiled Soul
Ought
To be punished
With severity
That
Others
Don’t dare
To envisage
To indulge
In the weird acts
Of blemishing

Womanhood.


© Ila Varma March 2016

Midweek Motif ~ Weird

Sex determination test: Impact on Indian Society

                                                                Source:here
                            “A baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on.” ― Carl Sandburg
I
endorse the idea put up by Mrs. Maneka Gandhi to make the foetus test mandatory
for sex determination. Hue and cry will be raised against it, because in our
country people’s reactions come first and afterwards, they try to understand
the matter. If one thinks coolly, it’s an idea to be welcomed with open arms. You
might question me, why am I supporting this view?

See,
in our country, legally, there is a ban on foetus sex determination test to
stop female foeticide, but is this mandate followed 100%. A Big “No” and we all
know. The laws are passed and implemented but is not followed religiously, that’s
the beauty of our country. People are well habituated and they do what they
like.

The
funniest thing I discover about the mentality of people, a woman is the enemy
of a woman. A woman wants to give birth only to a male child, no females. I don’t
understand how insane a person can be. Can society of only males survive? What
do they have in their mind? Will all the males of our country live as singles
or marry with the same sex?

The
icing on the cake is She desires beautiful bride for her son, from where she
will fetch. Is she planning to get one from Mars? Actually, the problem is with
her mind-set. It’s so attuned from the beginning to desire bearing male child only.
People need to attend awareness programs to understand that for a family, a
child is necessary irrespective of sex.

In
spite of ban, under the covers, scissors are used to terminate pregnancies, if
foetus test confirms a girl child. The laws of our land need to be amended for
womb wash or abortions. The term “Abortions” needs much clarity and crystal
clear policies to put a stop to female foeticide.

In
many countries, in initial phase of pregnancy, sex is determined and declared
to the couple, because people don’t go for abortion and it is vice versa in our
country. Here people deliberately visit for sex determination test and if they
spot a girl, they willingly go for termination of pregnancy, this is the case
under legal ban.

Better
we revoke this ban and implement the laws which will have positive impact on
our society.

1.      Make
sex determination test mandatory for each pregnancy and the case should be
registered in records after verifying the antecedents of the expecting parents.

2.        Cross
checks will be done by the attending doctors and the file to be maintained with
the signatures of parents and the doctors.

3.        No
abortions will be allowed after sex determination tests.

4.       Abortions
to be carried only in the cases of birth defects and abnormalities of foetus,
not fit to produce.

5.        Birth
defects cases should not undergo the sex determination test.

6.       Better
that the government mandates both, birth defect tests and sex determination tests.

7.      In
birth defect test, if the foetus is found abnormal, it should be terminated    and
sex determination test should not be carried.

8.       The
data of Births and Abortions should be maintained.
It is not an easy
task, it is a daunting task and the whole machinery needs overhauling to
implement it. The proposal is good if drafted with possible possibilities and
implemented with extra care and effort. The laws need to be stringent and it
should be strictly followed to improve the statistics and status of our
country. Introduce awareness programs and educate women of society to bring a
change in their mind-sets.
We have less females
in our country in comparison to male ratio and we shouldn’t forget that the Creator
of the Universe is a Woman and she needs to be welcomed with love. Strive for a
child to add happiness in life, drop the fantasy of cherishing male child. I
believe it will have positive impact in our country and improve the condition
of our country.

(The views are solely mine and not influenced by anyone. Author Ila Varma.)


Approved Post

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Pampering My Baby with Pampers!!!

         
   “The cute bundle of joy
packed my life with bounties of love & happiness,                                                       how lucky I am!!!”

                                                 Image Source: Google
 Nothing is better than the virtues of been blessed with the joys
of motherhood and it makes a woman complete. Baby skin care is not a task for a
single day, it has to be followed in everyday regimen and regular care is
effortless & comfortable for the baby.

The best thing
for the parents is a healthy baby with glowing skin and smiling face. The
babies need utmost care and protection from harshness of weather, chemicals etc
and free from germs to grow into healthy & happy children.
                              “5 things that can be done to keep a baby’s soft skin safe.”



1. Oil
Massage
– it can be natural mustard, olive or coconut oil or the baby oil
free from chemicals and fragrances. I’m insisting on “free from
chemicals” because chemicals are very harsh and it will harm the skin of
the new born. There is no such technique need to be implemented in baby
massage; just the hand strokes should be gentle on the baby skin. Touch
triggers hormones, boosts immunity, and helps fight disease and the baby is calm
and relaxed.
2. Sponge the baby with warm water, till the umbilical stump falls
off. Regular bathing is not essential, twice or thrice a week is enough. Baby
should not be soaked for more than three four minutes, baby skin is very tender
loses the natural oil of the skin. The skin should not be rubbed, instead pat
to dry.
3. A good baby lotion or moisturizer prescribed for the
babies should be used to moisten the baby skin just after bath, when the
baby is still wet. Utmost care is needed to maintain the softness &
suppleness of the baby skin.
                                        Image Source: Google; Edit: Self
4. Talcum baby
powders should be avoided, it cause lung
problems & the cornstarch can aggravate yeast diaper rash.
                                        

                                  Pampers Premium Care Pants Product Tour

5. Rashes are
common in babies and many rashes are normal and don’t pose any harm to baby’s
skin, still if irritation persists or baby is uncomfortable, do visit the
pediatrician and follow the prescribed advice. Use good quality and apt size
diapers for the babies and The Pampers
Premium Care Pants is a one stop solution for the diapers to provide your baby
with utmost comfort.
                                                   Image Source: Google
Pampers
brings you the softest ever Pampers Premium Care Pants. Its cotton-like
softness is #SoftestForBabySkin and allows it to breathe, thus
keeping baby’s skin soft and healthy, and your baby happy. 

Soft, Supple & Cuddly- Woogly – WOW Pampers

Motherhood is indeed a blessing
and the most rewarding job and it comes with the responsibility &
challenges to nurture a new life in the best possible ways and the Mothers
leave no stone unturned.
Nowadays, it is the shared responsibility of parents in nuclear family, and
both the partners share and care in rearing babies. 
When I was blessed with two kids,
my happiness knew no bounds and I followed the methods religiously to keep
their skin glowing and free from skin rashes.

                     “ 5 things that can be done to keep a baby’s soft skin safe.”

1.Oil Massage : Massaging the baby with baby oil,
free from chemicals and fragrances. Gentle stroking and massaging babies
relaxes them and induce them to better sleep. A sweet lullaby, baby talk and
eye contact with the baby is a wonderful way to interact with the baby.

2. Laundry tips: A gentle detergent should be used
for washing the clothes of baby, bedding’s, towels and all baby accessories.
Even new clothes should be washed before using to keep the baby safe from
infections. The skin of baby is very soft and to avoid skin rashes & keep
baby smiling, we need to adhere to this method.

3. Baby Bath:Regular bathing is not required
in case of new born, two- three days in a week and only mild soaps prescribed
for babies are used to retain their skin moisture and keep rash free & free
from skin allergies. Babies should be sponged till the umbilical cord is there.
The skin folds should be cleaned and dried properly.

4. Cotton Essentials:Cotton fabric is the best
fabric, good absorbent and suitable for all seasons and quite comfortable to
the baby skin. Sweaters should be worn over cotton clothes to keep the baby
skin free from rashes & irritation.

5. Do’s & Don’ts: The toys and all the
accessories used for the baby should be cleaned daily.

Nails should be cleaned
and cut properly at intervals.
Direct rays of the sun should be avoided and sunscreen lotion
prescribed for babies should be used on the exposed parts to avoid sun burns.

If baby has
red skin around the diaper area,it is diaper rash, which occurs because of skin irritation, the reason can be tight,wet diapers and not too absorbent. Change at right time, clean & moisten the area and apply zinc oxide cream, it helps in skin rashes. The Pampers Premium Care Pants are the best for the babies to keep their skin soft,supple and rash free….and Cuddly-Woogly Wow with Pampers.
Pampers brings you the softest ever Pampers Premium Care Pants. Its
cotton-like softness is #SoftestForBabySkin and
allows it to breathe, thus keeping baby’s skin soft and healthy, and your baby
happy. 


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