Are you Just With Your Children? #AtoZChallenge

Many times, we come across such parents who favour one child
more than the other. I feel very bad for those kids and I believe that been
unjust, the parents are creating a strife between the siblings.

It is not healthy for the children, it stunts their emotional
growth and inferiority complex envelops them.

Many times, I wonder as to why parents differentiate between
their children when all are their own offspring.

In many families, younger ones are more pampered and elder
one is shelved with responsibility though the difference between the siblings
are only two to three years.
At times, the sincere or studious
kid is pampered or is the centre of attraction.

Through my article, I wish to address to all the parents to
be JUST with their kids.

All are your offspring, the same pain you have undergone to
bring them to this world, so justified treatment should be given to all.

Treat all the kids alike and give them the same opportunity.

Don’t compare the children, complex develops within the
child and it affects their personality. Even sibling rivalry develops among the

Parents or other members of the family should take care to
treat all alike in spite of differences in their persona & presentation.

I believe the kid who is weak needs more care than the
sincere ones. Push your child to do better.

Your encouraging words will bring in a lot of positive changes.

Don’t bully them or discourage them.

The elder one is too a kid, two three years difference doesn’t
make him a man, hence responsibility should not be loaded rather it is should
be well distributed among them and they will take as a challenge to complete n
will rather enjoy doing it.

A child who fetches good numbers in class or is a bright
student is more cared by the parents than the other one who is average in
studies. The disparity among children should be abolished.

Parents, do justice in sharing your love towards your

Justified treatment will enhance the persona of the children
and they will grow into independent entity with healthy mind & positive

Children with positive thoughts are an asset to the society
too and we can hope for safe environment in society.

I believe that the frustrated souls are the species who
create nuisance in society by indulging in eve teasing, murder, rape etc.

Parents love and care is the important ingredient in the
life of a child and the basic care and affection moulds their personality.

Do you support my view?

Pl leave your comments.


Thank You.


*Keep Smiling*

Hacker #AtoZChallenge

The woman is reborn when she becomes a mother. Howsoever
careless she was, the day she cuddles her bundle of joy, she becomes
responsible, caring and her heart is full of love. Her day starts with the
child and her night ends with her child. She is so obsessed to give her child
all the wonderful things of the world.

She is always on the spree how to make her motherhood
enjoyable and devises ways to achieve them and there she becomes Mom-Hacker.

To spend more time with her child, she discovers shortcut method
to comply with the demands as a Mother, wife and at times as a daughter-in-law.
God made woman very strong from inside and she is used to
multi-tasking. Woman power is often associated with Devi Durga and she has the
ability of Devi to handle multiple things at one time, still she desires to
apply few shortcuts to meet the demand of the situation.

The morning hours are hectic when the kids are young, you
need multiple hands to juggle between school and office timings plus getting
oneself ready to leave the kids to the bus stop. One has to run around packing tiffin’s,
getting them dressed and fed, taking out the office dress of husband.


To manage those errands in a smooth manner, I adopted few
kitchen hacks to get relieved in the morning hours and to control my
temperament which gets on high on pressure of too many work at the same time.
In the night, kids slept early and I had ample time to
arrange the things for morning chores.

  • I prepared the dough at night and stored in the

  • The vegetables to be prepared next morning were
    cut and washed at night.

  • Ironed the dresses of my kids and hubby and hung
    in the designated wardrobe from where they could take themselves without
    troubling me.

  • The shoes were polished.

This organised structure eased my morning schedules and I
was cool n happy watching things run in a smooth manner. My cool temperament
kept the family members at ease and they remained happy.


A homemaker is in trouble when uninvited guests pour in and
it adds more distress if your maid is absent. To encounter it coolly, I store
Cold drinks & juices in refrigerator. I prepare Aam panna and store in
bottles, ready to serve with mint. It is refreshing drink in summers. I store
ready to make coffee blends to prepare hot and cold coffee as per the climate.

For winters, I store homemade cookies, both sugary & salty and besan laddoos to serve the guests.


On birthdays & anniversary, I believe to throw a party
with homemade servings. I love cooking and serving, it’s quite refreshing for
me. I feel happy to entertain people with my cooked food. But we need a proper
planning to make the guests & oneself comfortable.

  • Cut the required vegetables and store neatly in the fridge

  • Fry the kebabs twelve hours before the party.

  • Marinate non-veg 12 hours prior to party.

  • Knead the required dough for puris.

  • Prepare custards and ice-cream a day before to serve cool

  • Check your kitchen store and buy the lacking items one to
    two day before. Don’t wait for last minute.

  • Grind the required masalas and fry them 12 hours before the

  • Wash the cutleries a day before the party.

  • Change the linen and prior to the covers two days party day.

  • Decide your dress a week before and if you need something,

If the above things are done before the D-day, you and your
guests will enjoy the party. Your smiles will give warm welcome to your guests
and your organised party will be appreciated by all. My style of throwing party
is mentioned above in detail.


  • Cleaning and maintaining cleanliness is a tough job and
    needs a lot of planning. 

Instead of doing all the things in a day, divide the cleaning jobs.

  • I have divided my cleaning chores throughout the
    weekdays excluding Sundays. Sundays are for family and the kids have freedom to

  • One room is cleaned every day and it goes in

  • In morning hours, there is a lot of rush so I
    run my washing machine in noon during winters and in late evenings in summers.

  • I clean my bathroom daily and the rest of
    the family members do the same. This way the bathroom is always clean n dry.

  • Dusting is done every day to ward off dusts and

These hacks reduces the burden and the work is done with ease. Scheduling and doing things in routine eases
troubles and we tend to leave a stress free life.

Linking to #MMM


 Thank You.


*Keep Smiling*

Musings IX


People enter the temple to beg for heaven

ignoring the beggars at the entrance of the temple.

If you really wish to avail heaven in your life

Help the real needy people.

Instead of donating money & jewelry to temples

Donate the same to educate the child of an unprivileged.

Heaven or Hell is on the Earth

Your deeds decide your Fate.

People throng in temples requesting God to help them to attain peace and prosperity and donate lots & lots so that their requests are heard.

My belief is that if you feed a thirsty, your action will be rewarded but if you feed a satiated person, there is no value of your deed.

Heaven or Hell both are on Earth and your Karma decides your future.



Thank You!


*Thoughts Uncovered *

Encourage #AtoZChallenge

                                                                                     Source: here

The words of encouragement acts like rain on the parched
island and it boosts the individual to stand out in the crowd or stand with the

My view is that each and every parents & teachers should
learn the art of encouragement and encourage their kids and students…it goes a
long way in moulding the child with positive attitude.

Instead of saying, “Yeh Tumse nahin hoga.”

Say, “Yeh Tum easily kar loge.”

See the difference in your child.

He will look at things with assertiveness and will try to achieve
whether it is his studies, hobbies or sports.

The words of encouragement instigate their mind and they do
the things happily.

If you say the things with negative approach, the child gets
irritated or it hurts his ego and the result is negative.

Say positive and positive things will come to you and

The positive words generate positive energy and negative
words brings in negativity.
Start believing in your child and boost him to take chances
and even if he fails, don’t ridicule him with bitterness rather encourage him
to do best next time and certainly, he will do better.

If a child is ridiculed, bitterness crops up in his mind and
he regards himself a failure and loses all hope.

I request the parents, guardians and teachers to change the
attitude towards children especially in their initial years of growth, don’t
pester him rather encourage him. 

Believe in him & discuss freely with your

Do you agree with my views…Do share friends.


Thank You.


*Keep Smiling*

Bleeding Terror #AtoZChallenge

The world is bleeding

Terror & hatred.

Wounding the masses

With communal violence.

Ripping apart the

Spirit of brotherhood.

Can we vouch for the Day?

When we can breathe in peace 


Watch Smiles on every faces.

© Ila Varma 02-04-2017

Pic Credits: here

Thank You for visiting.


*Keep Smiling*

Alzheimer #AtoZChallenge

The tables were laid with her favorite delicacies and adorned with huge chocolate cake and colorful balloons hung around.
“What’s going on? Why so much of celebration?”
My eyes were welled with tears.
Alzheimer had taken toll and she could not remember her birthday nor she could munch her favorite dishes.


Pic Credits: here 

Thank You for visiting.


*Keep Smiling*

She!!! #WomanOfSubstance

She was indeed a Goddess, who stood by us when I was
bed-ridden and my husband was unable to move due to fracture of the patella and
my two angels, aged 4 & 2 years were helpless.

It was the first time in my life when I couldn’t move on my
own and was totally dependent on others for my daily chores at a mere age of
22-23 years. I use to cry a lot thinking why God punished me so mercilessly.

M too was helpless and everywhere there was darkness.

No relatives around to help us.

The support staff was very nice and she took care of my
house and kids.

One day, we both were very sad and was crying at our fate,
when M’s subordinate visited us.

He could not bear our state and he offered to send his
mother to our house to manage the things till we recovered.

She came to our house. I regarded her as Maa Durga who
descended when we were facing the trying times of our life and her entry to our
house brought a bleak of light and I was at ease.

She was very homely and friendly woman and within two days
span, she took the whole responsibility of the house and her way of caring was
mind-blowing…I felt as if my mother was
in the house and I was free from the responsibilities.

She boosted my moral strength too which I had lost due to

The smiles on the face of the kids returned in her company,
they regarded her as granny.

The fate was not happy with our agony, it trapped the kids

Both of them got infected with chicken pox but I am indebted
to the lady who took great care of them with great patience.

After complete one month, few signs of recovery showed in me
and with regular physiotherapy, I regained some strength in my limbs.

M plaster was removed and he too was undergoing physiotherapy.

The kids recovered and were back to school.

She lived with us for more than two months and managed the
house so well with the support of support staff that not even a spoon missed
from the house.

I had no words to thank her but I vowed that I will try my
best to get her only daughter married in an affluent family.

She was unlucky in terms that her husband had left her and
financially, she was weak.

I remembered my vow and after two years, I managed to find
best alliance for her daughter. The boy was settled in Central Govt job and
they were financially organised and affluent and even the boy was sober.

Till today, I am indebted to the person who stood for me and
by me when we were enveloped in gloom & darkness.

Her strength and patience pulled us out of the well of darkness.

I feel lucky to have her in my life and indebted to her

Linking this post with #MondayMommyMoments hosted by Deepa Gandhi and Amrita Misra

Uff, Yeh Blogging & Tum!!! #ILoveBlogging

Since childhood, I have a habit of scribbling…in those days, papers were used for writing and I scribbled my outbursts both healthy n jovial ones as well as disastrous ones…it was my way of venting out my emotions which I didn’t share easily with anyone. Papers and pen are my companions and I trust them.

I am not an introvert or extrovert, a blend of both…at times, one can find me loud and at another time, they may find submitted to myself. Many see me as the snob or of proud nature…and generally in initial encounters, very few are able to understand me…maximum misunderstand me and get to know me better with times.

I cleared my battles of life with scribbling my emotions on paper and kept them properly tucked in a file. I have a habit of re-reading it a number of times. With time, the mode of scribbling changed and became digitized and I moved to system & keyboard leaving my favorite pen & paper…but the process of venting out remained the same.

Soon, I deciphered the world of blogging and gradually started posting my emotions, experiences, and observations that I daily encountered in my life and now, it has become a habit to post daily, if perchance, I miss…I become impatient and wait eagerly to venture in my world of blogging and on this valentine day, I admit that I am in love with blogging.

Don’t ask me When, Why & How I fell for blogging….I can’t describe figuratively but I can assure that my heart yearns for blogging.

The reasons are ample and realistic…the first and foremost is that my mood swings make me a writer, a poetess, at times, I act as a journalist and in few instances, I pry in others privacy, so I become spy…and handling numerous professions are making me versatile with each passing day.

My emotions don’t bottle up…through blogging, I emit all the foulness brewing inside me and I feel fresh and light and the readers’ comments boost my confidence and at times shakes with bitter comments…unwanted comments give us space to improve…my experiences of life say so.

I paint my blog red when my passion and love speaks loud and in those best moods, I write poems of love and giving the form of compositions makes me more passionate and it rekindles the rage of love inside me.

The incidents that I encounter in & around my life and the experience that I derive from those moments, I instantly give it a form of prose or poetry and it helps me to learn from those small things of life…the good ones rejuvenates me and the bad ones gives me a lesson to learn….and jotting down is wonderful.

The captivating moments of nature, is captured under my lens and I love to share on a blog.
The habit of scribbling remained the same but there was a great transition…when I wrote on papers, it remained under the cover and only I had the permission to read but the world of blogging brought tremendous transformation and the outbursts are now on the public platform and people are free to read, comment, appreciate or criticize.

The most appreciable quality of a blog is that by reading the notions of others, we learn a great many new things, learn to know more about the changing perceptions and reflections of people and this sharing help us to reform our ways. The joy of others adds joys to our life…other tough times comes as a lesson to learn from other mistakes…sharing makes the people caring.

In the world of blogging, you can find answers for every query…the arena is vast and the specialty of one’s character or profession reflects in their blog…you can easily find answers to your query about pregnancy & parenting, cooking & baking, lifestyle & beauty, travel & tour, love & emotions, spellings & grammar and many more.

I love blogging because I love jotting down my emotions, perceptions, reflections, experiences, and observations that I encounter around my life…it has given me a digital identity on various social networking sites…discovered many friends from different niche and we learn a lot exchanging our ideas and love to participate in the ongoing contests in the world of blogging and meeting the deadlines.

When I get impulsive, my family asks me why are you so impatient to blog…why so much priority been given to blogging…I give them a smile with a wink and say it aloud, “I am in love with blogging”…hearing this all the three men of my family sing in unison, “Uff, Yeh Blogging & Tum.”

Linked to Thankful Thursday.

Thank You God!!!

We count our blessings for what we have but today I had to
count on my blessings for the things that I don’t have. In one go, it sounded
ridiculous to me but when the concept sank in then I understood what message it
conveyed between the lines.

It asked me how I am thankful for the things that I don’t
have in my life as having those will be adding trouble to my joyous life…it
wasn’t easy to find the weeds in my life…I brooded long and finally, it worked

I profusely thank the Supreme Power that he hasn’t instilled
Jealousy in me that doesn’t mean that I can share my love with someone…not at
all. In my context…I don’t have inert properties of J in me…I feel happy if
someone related or unrelated is happy… If my siblings do well, I feel proud but
never ever I am J at their accomplishments…care pours in from my heart but
never ever it gets mixed with J…I am really thankful that the Supreme Power did
not inject me the chemical properties of Been Jealous.
Cheating & Playing Politics weed is not in my fields…I
am quite straight forward and raw and an initial interaction with anyone mars
their opinion about me…they try to shoo away from me…but when someone is
associated they thank their stars…I am honest and poor at playing politics, at
times, it poses issues but still I thank Lord for not instilling these poisons
in my blood.
I am not Greedy for wealth nor I get infected with other’s
wealth…I am only greedy to acquire information & knowledge through books,
internet and experiences. I am very much contended with what I have & I don’t have complains to unknown power.

I am tea-lover and prefer drinking black tea without sugar but thankfully I am not addicted. I can live without it. I don’t have any Addiction of any kind in my life, no drug abuses nor alcohol.

From bottom of my heart, I thank God for making me what I am
and keeping me aloof from the evils and my prayer continues to keep me as I am
today, polish my qualities for betterment not for becoming a monster.

Pic Credits: here

Why It’s Always Me?

News of eve-teasing, attacking, outraging the modesty,
groping etc. has become common news broadcasted on channels, newspapers and
social medias and lot of hue n cry are raised against the crime, slogans are
written & everywhere there is a murmur to punish the culprit. It subsides
with time and all remains under cover.

How can one believe on judiciary when the culprits of
Nirbhaya is not given final verdict wherein the law was reformed to provide
justice in the heat of the situation? The law got amended but the scenario of
women getting insulted or molested did not deter.

What happens to victims?

The victims lives in fear, many get into depression and lifelong,
it is etched in their memory, she is not able to come out of it. Few end their
life or succumb when attacked.

Who are they?

They too are the sisters, wife or mothers of

Whom to blame…Society, parenting, schools, family?

If the occurrence happens with the family then boys are
blamed and if the same occurrence takes place with others, girls are blamed. Is
it justified?

From my point of view, all are to be blamed. Amendment of mind-set is
required for both the sex; males & females.

I have seen mothers citing an example in front of her son that the girls dressing or moving alone is the reason for spurt in crimes. While giving
instance, she is actually instilling negativity in the minds of boys, so mind
it what you are saying in front of your boys. Being a woman, she criticizes another woman then how can she expect that the boys will learn to respect

It’s my request with the mothers to instil good and healthy
virtues in the minds of your son & don’t encourage gender inequality. It’s
not that each and every son will become a rapist or stalker but he may not develop
respect for his wife and daughter.

Mothers, raise your sons with good values and you will be a
proud mother when they grow into healthy individuals with positivism and it
will be a proud moment for you.

Ask your son too, where he goes, what he does? Check his
friend’s antecedents. Be friendly with your children and befriend their friends
too, this way you will know, how is his group and you can be more aware of his

Never ever ignore small mistakes of your children, punish
them then & there and warn them not to repeat in future and you too need to
be watchful of his day to-day activities. Nip the bud before it blooms into an
ugly one.
How to handle daughters?

Mothers, be friendly with your daughter and ask her to share
everything with you and for creating a bond of trust, mother, you need to take
the initiative and work on it.

Teach her about the good touch and the bad touch and help
her to differentiate between the two. Never ever hush up the matter, if any
comes to your notice. Defend her and speak out to the concerned.

Teach her to speak out if anyone tries to misbehave with her
or offend her.

Teach her self defense mechanisms to save herself.
Single rule book for the children.

Mothers, don’t make different set of rules for sons and
daughters, this causes much rift in the minds of daughters and they feel deprived
of the privileges that the boys get.

Timings to go out & return should be uniform.

Where to go and where not to venture should be same for

Both should be encouraged to respect each other irrespective
of sex.
Few words for the girls.

Listen to elders. Track time when you are on an outing.
Avoid dark spots, unknown places and deserted lanes.

If you go for some celebrations or parties, inform the
venues to your parents, inform them when you reach the venue and when you
leave, so that they are informed about your movements and they can be alert if
you are late.

Never trust strangers of any age nor listen to their

Move in group of friends to the theaters, late night parties
or while taking cab drives.

If possible, ask your parent or guardian to pick up, if you
feel estranged at any place or someone is following you.

Raise alarm if someone tries to hurt or harm you and run
away to the nearest house or shop to save yourself from untoward incident.
Many girls feel offended that why should we be careful.

Dear girls, you are the best creation of God and you are the
best one to protect yourself.

This view is solely mine and I follow the tips to raise my children as I have written. This is my Mantra, What is yours?

Linked to #MondayMommyMoments

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