I could not compete with the timings of Monday Mommy Moments and could not write on time due to other commitments but still I wished to write on this topic…Anger Management for Moms.
Here is my take on this topic.
Been sensitive, I don’t believe in yelling at children. I
know how it hurts so I never went to the extent of yelling or going mad with
anger while raising my kids.
From the very beginning of my life, I am cool with kids and
old but all hell break loose on adults…the reason that I sort out is that what
kids do, they do in innocence but adults deliberately indulge, so I lose
patience with grown-ups…though to some extent, I have managed controlling.
I had great share of anger outbursts in my childhood days
and I had promised that I won’t commit the same mistake with my kids.
And the day came, when I conceived and my happiness knew no
bounds and I got busy with the preparations to welcome my bundle of joy and
finally, the day arrived when I was holding my flesh in my hand…and the feeling
was surreal and no words can suffice to express my feelings.
I kissed him on his forehead and promised to him that you
will never be a victim of my anger and I will try my best to explain the things
when you are wrong, avoiding yelling at you to get rid of my frustrations.
I believe that the kids are fragile and we need to handle
His arrival in my life made me responsible and patient and I
knitted numerous dreams and all revolved around him…though as a wife…I
justified my presence…so I was successful in managing the both ends and both
Their happiness was my happiness and I felt contended.
Soon, I was Mom of two cute boys and my patience while
raising them proved to be a wonder. They turned out to be well-behaved kids. It
doesn’t mean that they were not into mischief, they were but within the purview
of limits or you can say that my No reaction on their mischief treaty helped
them to be docile.
The kids are smarter than Moms. When they find their Moms
losing their temper, then they deliberately involve themselves in mischief to
enjoy the tantrums of Mama…it’s my perception.
After finishing their chores, I used to sit with them n let
them play with their toys and puzzles and never went eccentric even when they
messed around, just watched them in silence that they don’t hurt themselves
hard…rest I hardly cared…Over caring too poses issues.
The early years were very relaxed but when they entered in
primary school, an unknown pressure built within me and I started losing my
temper at slightest pretext and they poor were victims of my wrath.
One fine day, I pondered over the situation and discovered
that sub-consciously, pressure was building that they study well and do well…so,
I was becoming over-ambitious. I stopped myself then and there…checked my
But there were instances where I had to do drama of been
angry to control their tantrums in their growing stage and it worked out…I
never yelled much rather explained them in their context to discipline them and
my silence worked in moulding them.
They too are my flesh and they abhor yelling and been
Few times, I spanked them when they were really at fault and
need to be corrected.
They were able to assess for what my anger built up and they
learnt how to avoid those instances…so our co-ordination was perfect…I was
their sole guardian while raising them and there was no interference from my
husband’s side…while I scolded them or checked them…It proved to be a liberty.
Normally, I see that while checking kids, the couple get at
loggerheads and their views on disciplining differs and this difference is
taken as advantage by the children, who are not at an age to judge, rather they
get hooked to the person, who is liberal and encourages even when he is wrong.
I never spanked or yelled at them in frustration or in mood
Where they need to be reformed, I never backed out, I was
there to correct them.
I wish to share my suggestion.
Many times, it happens that if we are in good mood and the
kid has done seriously something wrong, we overlook them in our fun time…and if
we are in bad mood and the kid is demanding something genuine, we spoil the
play because of our anger outbursts…and the innocent has to face the music.
This mood swings of Mom’s blots the kids for no fault of
Remember a golden rule, however good mood you are in and
your ward needs to be corrected, don’t back out, then n there pin point their
mistake and ask them to correct sternly…and never make them victim of your mood
Give them a chance to distinguish between Right and Wrong.
My silence played wonders in raising them…now they are
grown-ups individuals and now if they deliberately go out of way, I yell at
them on top of my voice. They frown at me but never reply back rather when I am
cool they explain me patiently.
I request the existing Moms and would be Moms to work on
patience and anger management and always, remember your childhood days, it will
be convenient to tackle your kidoos.
Silence speaks more than yelling.
Whenever, you feel like yelling, start backward counting and
by the time you will finish the count, your anger will diminish.
Advantages of Not Yelling:
You will be happy and your family will be happy.
Kids will be friendly with you and will share
Your saved energy will kindle your Creativity.
Kids will grow into mature adults and will know
how to handle adversities.
Kids won’t learn to bicker or retaliate.
Many will say, it is easy to say than to be done. I too
agree but we can at least try for the sake of our children.
The image of a Mom is loving and caring then why to spoil
the image by yelling and getting angry on slightest pretext.
What is Anger?
It is a bottled up frustration and when one gets a chance,
they explode hurting themselves and others.
I am quite impressed by the words of Lord Buddha which runs
as under and this quote proved magical for me and it helped to master control on my
pangs of anger.
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the
intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
Linked with #MMM.