Figuring Out Preteens Mind – How To Handle With Care

Do you remember those days when you were in your preadolescence, those hormonal roller coaster rides, being emotional and cranky at the same time? Fortunately or unfortunately we all have experienced that pre-teen period and we all had done our share of mistakes; cute little mistakes. Sometimes the situation gets worse with lack of proper guidance and a gap between parent-child communications; and this lacuna should be filled up with wits, love, patience, and care.

Typically when our notorious and cute kiddos reach the age of nine and plus who were once so willing to climb into our laps and share their secrets that how he ate the jam from the refrigerator, how he broke the egg etc. suddenly start drifting from us. They love shelling in their cocoons.

A child in preadolescence stage is not the same person he was just a year or two ago. He/She goes through numerous transformation – physically, cognitively, emotionally, and socially. He develops to enjoy new found independence ( even the freedom fighters wouldn’t have got that much excitement after India’s independence). All they want to do is to see how far he can push limits and boundaries set by parents…Don’t howl at them, Parents, recall your stage as a preadolescent and the helplessness writ on your parent’s face. 

The innocent mind doesn’t know that he needs you besides to dodge the hurricane of adolescence. It isn’t an easy task because you need to ensure that you as a Parent respect your child’s need for greater autonomy in order to craft a successful relationship with this “upgraded” version of your kid.

According to experts of Child Mind Institute, to prevent the bridge between you and your kid from receding, you require to pad up the communication gap and for that,

       Parents need to follow a few steps:

  • Don’t take their withdrawal as rejection. The child turns rebellious, outspoken or introvert in the Preteen stage. They behave callously with their parents and relies more on friends or trust those people who speak in favor.
  • Take time out from your busy schedule for your child. Convincing Preteens to talk and open up is tedious. Try to establish a bond, a special period every week when you can give unadulterated attention. Utmost patience is required on part of Parents else it can misfire.
  • Always opt for an indirect approach to chit-chat. The time has gone when they were answerable to those direct questions, now it doesn’t work. They feel it is an encroachment into their personal space. Overindulgence can turn things upside down.
  • Keep your judgmental mind in the backseat. Being judgmental can never mend the scratches of puberty of your child.
  • Start conversing about sex and drugs. Sex is a taboo in our society but our children live in a world where they get exposed to sexual languages, images, sexual changes in their body; all these make them curious and it is your duty to extinguish this fuel of curiosity, keeping aside what society will say or think. Right guidance on the subject will educate them and prevent them from straying.
  • As a parent, it is not easy to figure out the emotions erupting. A friendly bond can vanish the difference of age and relationship and you can help them out, answering all their queries and educate them about the undiscussed zone, which is considered taboo in our society.

We as parents of new age need to break the barrier and help our children to grow with values of life and morality.

I despise parents who state ” We were not of your type.” Indirectly, you are abusing your child. Ask your Mom how tough nut you were to crack. Each stage of life has its own hiccups and when we outgrow, we forget the turbulence.

Two boys in school uniform

I raised my kids remembering all the instances of my preadolescent stage, my reactions etc. and it was a lesson which helped me to raise them gracefully.

Happy Parenting!

Mommies Dilemma – How to Manage Early Teenagers?

Motherhood comes with a baggage of responsibilities and care. When we are blessed with a bundle of joy, our spirits are high and we feel on top of the world. To take good care of our tiny tot, we require to be good at multi-tasking, time management with a fair speed to finish off chores. As the days roll by, we find the journey of motherhood tough. We console ourselves that in a span of a few years, we will have hours of relaxation, once the kids grow up. It’s true, the physical strain lessens as the child grows but the mental anxiety starts growing as the child enters near teens.
The docile and sweet child turns violent and blurts out if scolded or pinpointed at their mistakes or coils into their cocoon and want to stay isolated.
This is the phase of the dilemma for Parents…but I insist on Mommies because Mums are more stressed by the changing behavior of their children and she tries her best to pacify things to normal.
Reasons for Behavioural Change
 
Physiological & Psychological Changes
 
Eminent changes and transformations take place within a teenager. Development of breast, an onset of periods, acne and pimples, increase in size of reproductive organs of a male child, growth of pubic hair, voice change, an onset of puberty etc., takes place in both boys and girls. The transition from childhood to early teens is cumbersome due to physical changes. The child is confused with the changes taking place in them and initially, they are not comfortable with the changes. They coil in their shells and don’t wish to talk about it or share with their parents and siblings.
Mood swings, wanting to take decisions independently, attraction towards opposite sex, sexual arousal are some of the reasons which bring adamant changes in the child who is at the threshold of teens and they prefer to stay aloof.
 With the frequent physical and psychological changes, they find tough to cope with the demands of the body and it is tough for them to maintain sync.
                                                          Source
How to Maintain the Balance
Recall your days of childhood when you were stepping into teenage and how you felt those days. Keep yourself in their shoes and handle them tactfully.
•    Never say, “I was not of this type”
 
You must have been more or less in the same shape and your Mom would have faced difficulty in taming you. If you say, “I was not of this type”, the child will feel humiliated and get enraged. Talk to them that you felt the same in your teens and it took time for you to adjust due to different hormonal and emotional changes. Ask them to accept the changes as it is natural transformation.
•    Be Friendly
 
Don’t create boundaries with the children. Play with them, watch movies and programmes with them and discuss and debate on any topic under the sun. Give them the privilege to discuss their problems, educate them about good and bad touch, sex education and to respect both the sex equally. Lend your ear and respect their views. Listen and stay calm. Be a child in the company of your child.
•    Be Polite & Firm in Your Approach
 
Don’t scold on the slightest pretext. Keep yourself soft and calm. Instead of pinpointing the mistakes and shouting at them, be watchful and cautious in approach. Watch their activities silently and if you find something odd in their activity, explain to them. Accept their mistakes as it is normal for a human to err and each one of us learn from trial and error. Explain to them the pros and cons of their mistakes and tell them firmly not to repeat it in future. Explaining things with the cool mind will help them to realize their folly but if you start getting stern with them, it will misfire the situation. Teenagers melt if handled with love and affection and your righteous approach can tame them.
•    Better Practice than Imposing
 
Being a parent, adopt all the principles, rules and regulations into practice and then ask your child to follow. This method is better for a small child too, but with teens, you first need to rectify yourself and then you can see them following. If you give sermons, they can react and can seek explanations for imposing on them. The child first school is home and gradually, they will pick up the traits that you follow. Follow positive traits if you want to see it develop in your children.
•    Accept the Changes
 
You cannot expect your child to be timid all way. If he questions you, don’t fret and fume. They are growing and they have the right to be assertive. Listen to them, reply to their questions and give them the space to grow.
•    Help them to Be Independent
 
Don’t be overprotective. Give them the independence to choose their dresses, passion, and activities. Let them follow their ambition and hobbies. If you find their aim undesirable, you should have valid explanations to validate it.
•    Trust Your Child
 
The children need the support and trust of their parents. Trust them but don’t go blind in love. Be caring and supportive and a mute spectator. If you find any activity annoying or wrong, explain them with patience. Don’t compel them else they will turn rebellious. Participate in their activities, befriend their friends, plan outings with their friends and invite them at home. It will help you to know them more.
•    Keep Them Engaged
 
Encourage to pursue their hobbies. It will help them to be engaged and won’t get surplus time to brood. Creative things attract the growing mind and they will devote 100% of their time. Hobbies help them to ignore sexual upsurges which are quite normal at their age. Give them the freedom to pursue their own hobbies, it will build their imaginative and creative powers.
All suggestions won’t work in all the children so as a parent, you require to be diligent in taming them. The teens who are at a threshold of Teens are more vulnerable and they require patience to tame them.
Your Love, Support and Silence will help them to pass this phase easily.
My Experience
 
While raising my children,
I never forgot my volatile days of teens and my reactions.
I became a child with them and enjoyed passing time with them.
I befriended their friend of both gender and gave them the freedom to call at home.
Never distinguished between BF & GF but warned them about the phase that all go and how to handle it sincerely.
I accompanied them on outings.
I gave them the space to grow, be independent, choose their hobbies and watched them closely and silently with a smile sailing on my face.
I was soft and firm in my approach. I stuck to my promises and never ditched them.
It was a roller coaster ride for me with lots of turbulence and finally, my silence and patience rewarded me.

“I am taking my Alexa rank to the next level with Blogchatter’

#MyFriendAlexa  #ilarejuvenated

Unbeatable Blues!


Top post on IndiBlogger, the biggest community of Indian Bloggers

Sure, Life is Unpredictable. You plan something and something else turns up instantaneously. It is not always, but yes, it is at times. God adores to test our endurance power and watch our spontaneous expressions and reactions.

Same happened with me in last few months.

Life was going as smooth as it should be, I was busy with my tasks and writing, along with my roller coaster life.

I explored Food Contest for my Blog, shared with my friends, well-wishers, and bloggers. Used resources to maximum in my social circles and platforms.
Idea was big, it appeared to me interesting and bright, and so I called for a Food Contest, the Traditional Indian Dishes. Direct motive behind this was that that if I receive a good number of Indian cuisine from different parts of our country, then I would go for e-book publishing and paperback publishing.
I have keen interest to revive old delicious dishes, which were cooked by our “Daadi Maa” and “Naani Maa” which have now totally disappeared from the scene. Reason is nowadays, most of the people don’t love cooking, and they just cook because they don’t have any option. The crowd that has option have started employing a cook and the cook is so professional that she delivers her duty, so the essence of culinary treat is missing. I want to revive and enjoy each home-cooked morsel with Indian spices and groceries.
I did receive number of entries but not in huge numbers as I had expected. I wanted to tap the entire Indian market and squeeze most of it, few people wanted but due to their own commitments, many could not participate.
I was ready to post on my blog everyday under the heading, Food but God embarked another plan for me.

I had to participate in the initiation of shifting of my sister from Mumbai to Ahmedabad.
People can understand the blues of shifting and our unique gifted family added more to the crisis.
Father suffering from Parkinson, sister affected by cerebral palsy and old aged mother, all require good amount of care. Thank God, all siblings arrived to care of their needs.
The whole situation became grim in absence of efficient workers to attend to the disabled, suffering and old. Literally, how months passed, I could not figure out and could not zero in on my target of posting Indian cuisines, received participants.
As I was trying to wean out myself from the settling situation, another blow shattered my thought-process.
My better half fractured his patella and within 12 hours, I reported back to Patna…high unexpected air-fare expenditure n lot of botheration’s pierced my mind. Thankfully, by grace of God, it wasn’t a severe blow but still it was a matter of concern as he fractured his leg for the fifth time in 5 decades of life.
Orthopedic advised plaster and rest for six weeks. For whole six weeks and after, I was glued to him. It wasn’t his demand but you cannot ignore. It was tough for him to spend more than a month within the four walls of home, he felt exiled.
Anyhow…time passed peacefully.
Now, I have ruled out time for myself and ready to roll the recipes one after another from tomorrow. Planning to post every alternate day, so that my readers don’t have to rush.
I took time to publish, now you take your time.
I sincerely apologize to the contributors, who took so much of pain and interest to gather recipes.

The scenario was out of my control or you can say that God had his own plans…we, mere puppets cannot move a bit without his nod.

Let’s drop the grudges and anguishes and give blogging journey a new start.

Readers, you all are my lifeline. Always be there for me so that I can bring loads of surprises for you in coming time.

How to make an Introvert Child more Friendly? #MommyMoments

Parenting is a skill and it requires lots of patience & perseverance on the part of parents while addressing kids.
Each child is unique in its own way and accordingly, the parents need to take care of them…
Some are outspoken, fearless and daring and they
require less guidance while some are shy and meek and they need more attention from parents.
If you see around, you will find kids of one set of parents are quite different in personality though they are brought up in
the same atmosphere has been given the same privileges and comfort…Their characteristics and vital statistics vary because each kid perceives things differently…so it is the duty of the parents especially the Moms to unearth their kids potential and
weakness and deal them accordingly.
In my childhood days, I was a mixture of both; some knew me as Introvert while others knew me as a full package of life and
vigor and over Extrovert.
I myself don’t know the reason for such a dual personality. In our times, parents were loaded with so much of responsibilities
that they did not have enough time to spare to delve into such fine details. They had the huge responsibility of extended families, five children and looking after the house.
Still, I am a pack of both but certainly, I pulled myself out of the shell with passing years and now, I am introvert where I
choose to be…it’s my choice else I am extrovert, ready to pour my ideas and beliefs and even give an uninterrupted sermon where required.
I know that being over introvert mars the personality and at times, we lose best opportunities…though my been introvert
rewarded me with writing skills because whenever thoughts gushed inside me, I poured it raw on the journal and this was my bright side and today I am a gainer choosing blogging as my profession…my been introvert made me Creative.
In our time, we did not have so many gadgets…we had limited choice…either to play in the playground…indulge in some creativity or study…but the scenario of today is quite different.
Children of today are hooked to gadgets, as today’s children have access to multiple gadgets and if they are left alone, it will
hamper their personality. Parents need to be vigilant so that the
personality of kids are not at stake.
Parenting Tips:
 
  •  If your child is dull and doesn’t want to mingle with the kids of their age group, he needs your attention. Rule out the reason for this behavior and encourage them to be active and participate in group activity.
  • Find out their field of interest and encourage them to participate fully. Have open discussions with your kids and inquire if something is bothering them. At times, children don’t open up because of some unknown fear or inadequate knowledge.
  • Invite them to your living room when some guests
    visit your house and introduce them to your guests, gradually he will develop the habit of conversing with strangers and it will boost their personality.
  • Encourage them to participate in the social activity
    and give them the liberty to arrange special programs on festivals and special occasion, it will add creativity to them.
  • Take them along when you visit your family and
    friends, at times, they may be reluctant but slowly it will interest them.
  • Fix hours of watching TV and playing games on
    Computer because these activities nips the creativity and imaginative skills of a child.
  • If he is more inclined in extracurricular activities, encourage them to indulge. Study is important but they need assistance in carving a niche in their field of interest. Discouragement make kids introvert.
  • Don’t leave them alone for long hours…keep a watch
    on their activities. Time to time, try to find out about the activities of your child at school or with friends, it will help you to know how he is performing with others.
  • Keep a silent vigil on your child’s movements. All
    things should not be pronounced especially when your kids is approaching teens as they are quite vulnerable at this age and they need utmost care.
What I did as a Parent?
While raising my kids, I followed their movements
silently.
  • I involved them in all extra-curricular activities and in
    celebrations.
  • Brushed their skills and encouraged them to polish
    their areas of interest.
  • Never bullied them in front of other family members, friends or neighbors.
  • Whenever I found their energy levels low, I sat
    down with them and discussed openly what was bothering them.
These tips encouraged them to come out of their shell and enhanced their personality. Open discussion helps to develop confidence in children and they are fit to discuss and sort out issues.
Linking this post to #MondayMommyMoments hosted by Deepa Gandhi and Dr. Amrita Misra.

Lulling To Sleep! #Kids #MMM

Source: here

When the child is born, there is a great difference in the
temperature of the inside world compared to the world outside and it takes time
for the infants to settle in. These changes leads to changes in the sleep
pattern of the kids.
Mostly, we see that the new born sleep well in day hours and
are wide awake at night and it is a punishment for the New Moms to cope with it
and she becomes restless and tired & at times, loses her patience.
At times, I have seen that the babies are dull and sleepy in
day hours and proactive at nights and the couple exchange glances and anxiously
wait for their child to sleep and the smart kid finally relieves her Mom in
early morning hours.
This erratic sleeping pattern goes on for few weeks or few
months and gradually they adjust and sleep on fixed timings thereby giving
enough space to their parents and especially the Mom.
The day the woman conceives…lots of health issues crops up
with the pregnancy and she battles all the odd moments which takes toll on her
health for the bundle of joy.
The first trimester and the last one is scary and it poses
lots of issues but still for the sake of her child, she endures all the pain n
discomfort.
When the child arrives, he /she tests the patience &
power of endurance of her Mom and poses a fresh challenge each day for the Mom.
I am a Mother of two boys and both are two ends of a pole
though they gel well.
My elder son was quite calm n he slept for more than twenty
hours, so there was not much coercion in raising him.
Watching my son sleep for such long duration was not
considered normal by my MIL and she lectured me that we should keep him awake
for few hours else his mental & physical development will be affected.
One more reason I saw to his sound sleep was that I attended
all his chores ten minutes before his defined time, so he did not feel the need
to bother me.
So, I had great time while raising him not a single night was
disturbed.
The arrival of my second child was with a Bang…Bang…Bang.
The second child was proactive and slept only for few hours
and he kept me on toes at night. In day time, he used to play after been fed
but at night, he cried a lot and wanted to be in my arms.
I thank God for the patience that he descended on me that I
never got irritated and enjoyed their tantrums…it was the age factor. I became
Mom of two within 20’s and I never lost patience rather enjoyed the bliss of
Motherhood.
Gradually, I followed few tricks to lull him to sleep and it
worked well.
Change in Massage
Time:

I changed the timings of Oil massage from 6 to 7 pm to 10 pm
at night and changed to night dress after wiping him with warm water. He felt
fresh after the massage and tried to sleep.
Soft Light & Music:

After 8 pm, I switched off the tube light (LED & CFL was
unknown in those days) and soft music played in the background. My proactive
son gradually got sleepy in dim light and soft music. By the time of massage,
he would be half asleep and after massage, he slept peacefully.
These two changes brought great change in him and he slept
peacefully, consequence we two were happy. 😆😆
As they grew into kindergarten going kids, again their routine was
disrupted and their disruption perturbed my routine.
I have raised my kids on my own without any assistance of
support staff, so it was essential that their routine matched with mine so that
I could attend to my other chores of managing house, husband and kids.
After changing and feeding them, I took them to bed in noon
so that they could take a nap and I could finish my chores half attended.
I love reading so I purchased a good lot stuff of story
books and would read them aloud and they lulled to sleep in mid of story and I
tip toed to attend the other chores and arrange the things for evening and
night.
*Shukr hai…they did not inherited my instincts in sleeping else Motherhood
has been tough for me. Since childhood, I never sleep in daytime till I am ill
(It wasn’t tough on my Mom because I was raised in joint family).
This quality helped me in raising my kids. I never indulged
in any work till they were awake. I devoted my full time to attend to them and
when they went to bed, I was active managing family n friends.

This was my experience.

Do share yours. 💕

Writing this for #MondayMommyMoments.

***************************************************


Are you on a look out for the products of Amazon, Do click on the link below to purchase.

It’s too hot and humid, so if you are looking out for Stabilizer for your AC, here is the solution.

V Guard Stabilizer for AC

How to Conquer Anger? #MMM #AngerManagement #Moms

Source: here

I could not compete with the timings of Monday Mommy Moments and could not write on time due to other commitments but still I wished to write on this topic…Anger Management for Moms.

Here is my take on this topic.

Been sensitive, I don’t believe in yelling at children. I
know how it hurts so I never went to the extent of yelling or going mad with
anger while raising my kids.
From the very beginning of my life, I am cool with kids and
old but all hell break loose on adults…the reason that I sort out is that what
kids do, they do in innocence but adults deliberately indulge, so I lose
patience with grown-ups…though to some extent, I have managed controlling.
I had great share of anger outbursts in my childhood days
and I had promised that I won’t commit the same mistake with my kids.
And the day came, when I conceived and my happiness knew no
bounds and I got busy with the preparations to welcome my bundle of joy and
finally, the day arrived when I was holding my flesh in my hand…and the feeling
was surreal and no words can suffice to express my feelings.

I kissed him on his forehead and promised to him that you
will never be a victim of my anger and I will try my best to explain the things
when you are wrong, avoiding yelling at you to get rid of my frustrations.

I believe that the kids are fragile and we need to handle
with care.

His arrival in my life made me responsible and patient and I
knitted numerous dreams and all revolved around him…though as a wife…I
justified my presence…so I was successful in managing the both ends and both
were Happy.


Their happiness was my happiness and I felt contended.

Soon, I was Mom of two cute boys and my patience while
raising them proved to be a wonder. They turned out to be well-behaved kids. It
doesn’t mean that they were not into mischief, they were but within the purview
of limits or you can say that my No reaction on their mischief treaty helped
them to be docile.

The kids are smarter than Moms. When they find their Moms
losing their temper, then they deliberately involve themselves in mischief to
enjoy the tantrums of Mama…it’s my perception.
After finishing their chores, I used to sit with them n let
them play with their toys and puzzles and never went eccentric even when they
messed around, just watched them in silence that they don’t hurt themselves
hard…rest I hardly cared…Over caring too poses issues.

The early years were very relaxed but when they entered in
primary school, an unknown pressure built within me and I started losing my
temper at slightest pretext and they poor were victims of my wrath.

One fine day, I pondered over the situation and discovered
that sub-consciously, pressure was building that they study well and do well…so,
I was becoming over-ambitious. I stopped myself then and there…checked my
outbursts.

But there were instances where I had to do drama of been
angry to control their tantrums in their growing stage and it worked out…I
never yelled much rather explained them in their context to discipline them and
my silence worked in moulding them.

They too are my flesh and they  abhor yelling and been
spanked.

Few times, I spanked them when they were really at fault and
need to be corrected.

They were able to assess for what my anger built up and they
learnt how to avoid those instances…so our co-ordination was perfect…I was
their sole guardian while raising them and there was no interference from my
husband’s side…while I scolded them or checked them…It proved to be a liberty.

Normally, I see that while checking kids, the couple get at
loggerheads and their views on disciplining differs and this difference is
taken as advantage by the children, who are not at an age to judge, rather they
get hooked to the person, who is liberal and encourages even when he is wrong.
I never spanked or yelled at them in frustration or in mood
swings.

Where they need to be reformed, I never backed out, I was
there to correct them.

I wish to share my suggestion.

Many times, it happens that if we are in good mood and the
kid has done seriously something wrong, we overlook them in our fun time…and if
we are in bad mood and the kid is demanding something genuine, we spoil the
play because of our anger outbursts…and the innocent has to face the music.
This mood swings of Mom’s blots the kids for no fault of
theirs.

Remember a golden rule, however good mood you are in and
your ward needs to be corrected, don’t back out, then n there pin point their
mistake and ask them to correct sternly…and never make them victim of your mood
swings.

Give them a chance to distinguish between Right and Wrong.

My silence played wonders in raising them…now they are
grown-ups individuals and now if they deliberately go out of way, I yell at
them on top of my voice. They frown at me but never reply back rather when I am
cool they explain me patiently.

I request the existing Moms and would be Moms to work on
patience and anger management and always, remember your childhood days, it will
be convenient to tackle your kidoos.

Silence speaks more than yelling.

Whenever, you feel like yelling, start backward counting and
by the time you will finish the count, your anger will diminish.

Advantages of Not Yelling:

You will be happy and your family will be happy.

Kids will be friendly with you and will share
their secrets.

Your saved energy will kindle your Creativity.

Kids will grow into mature adults and will know
how to handle adversities.

Kids won’t learn to bicker or retaliate.

Many will say, it is easy to say than to be done. I too
agree but we can at least try for the sake of our children.

The image of a Mom is loving and caring then why to spoil
the image by yelling and getting angry on slightest pretext.

What is Anger?

It is a bottled up frustration and when one gets a chance,
they explode hurting themselves and others.
I am quite impressed by the words of Lord Buddha which runs
as under and this quote proved magical for me and it helped to master control on my
pangs of anger.
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the
intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
               

Linked with #MMM.

Maa, I won’t Bear? #Domesticviolence

                                                                                        Source

“Thud Thud…Thud” and the sobs followed.
It wasn’t a one day affair…It happened every day.
I was just Seven, so couldn’t predict what went behind the
scene but was sure that whatever went on was not justified…her sobs confirmed.
One day, I mustered courage to peep through the keyhole to know what occurred behind the doors and how everything seemed smooth after an hour or so.
The scene behind the door was fierce and I could not lay my
eyes on them….He was literally a brute.
He beat her up with his leather belt, whipping hard on her
with every strokes and she lied helpless on the floor.
He removed the sari that draped her fragile body and hit her
hard on her delicate parts.

I was shivering with fear…He is a beast…he can’t be my
father.
I ran to my granny and told her the sequence that I watched
through. She was cool.
“It happens Baby. Your mother might have disobeyed your
father.”
“Dadi…what are you saying? Go and see, how that beast is
whipping belt on her skin.” I literally howled at her.
“It’s new for you…not for me. Your mother has leverage that
she can take few decisions…accompany your father on tour. My life was much
worst, dear…but till date, no one knows of it. I didn’t ever complain to my
Mother because her life was not better than mine. I was beaten if I disobeyed
your Baba but my Mother was confined in room for days without food if she
couldn’t manage the things on time. Baby, it’s our fate. We are born to be in
captive and it’s necessary else the girls will go astray and not accommodate
with their husbands and in-laws. She needs to be in strict guardianship before
and after marriage.” Dadi said nonchalantly.
I was sobbing hard.
“Dadi, how can you be so callous? It is not necessary that
if you were abused, my Mother should meet the same fate…You and your son both
are beasts.” I said.

A strong hand overpowered me and yelled on top of his voice.

“You need worse treatment than your mother…at this age, your
pitch is so high. What will you do after marriage? You need severe punishment.”
My father said fiercely.
The fragile hands wrapped me in her arms and requested him to
overlook my faults, giving me a chance to improve.

“Please forgive her. She is naive and innocent. I will make
her understand.” She pleaded sobbingly.

Silently, I walked to my room.

The words of my mother eroded my confidence in her. She too
believes like Dadi…she is no better.

I was only seven but these harrowing experience at home had
made me more matured than my age.

I could see my future bleak.
“Maa…instead of stopping father, you said that I will be checked.
I can’t endure these miseries. I saw today how that Man whom you call your
husband treats you. Even you shouldn’t bear…leave this house forever.”
“No, Baby…don’t say like this, now my dead body will leave
this house. Though he is cruel and wild at times but still I can’t disregard
him. Our parents taught us.” Maa said with a blank look.
Years passed but the situation remained more or less the
same.
I was twenty now.
I had vowed that I won’t accept arranged alliance of my
parents rather will choose my life partner and talk to him over the points of
adjustments before getting hitched.

One day, my senior proposed me.
I rolled out my points and said that if he agreed then I
will go steady with him and get hitched when he comes into job.
Two years passed smoothly without any disagreements.
One day, he saw me with my class mate in market and was
ferocious over phone and said so many things which were not required.
I disconnected the line bidding him good bye forever.
I didn’t want a life like my mother and granny.
I am thirty now and waiting for a suitable alliance.

I need a man in my life but not at the cost of my self-esteem.

( The tit bits that goes around.)
Linked to A Letter To Her.

Note: Do read a copy of Meena Kandasamy’s new book, When I Hit You.

Click here for Flipkart

VLCC Customised Obesity Package!! #GetfitwithVLCC

 
Day to day, Obesity is becoming a problem for the people world-wide and
the fair reason behind it is digitization, sedentary life and mechanized
lifestyle, wherein the physical effort is becoming negligible.

A little population is concerned about their health and lifestyle and they
follow sessions of gym, morning walk and diet control diligently. A big chunk
is at their receiving end, the girth increasing day by day but they cannot
stick to wellness program, juggling between professional & personal life.
Everyone can’t lead a committed life and the deviation from the normal
gives spurt to obesity and obesity leads to certain diseases.

The fast and junk food, pizzas, cold drinks are in the regular menu owing to
fast life which adds in most calories to one’s diet and the body loses its
firmness.

The youngsters and kids are getting plump; the reasons are many, hooked to
indoor games, TV, & fast food.


The signs of obesity is not healthy but people tend to be careless until
the symptoms of overweight flares up, thus, giving rise to many diseases.


Hypothyroidism: is a condition characterized by
abnormally low thyroid hormone production. The prevalence of hypothyroidism is
high in Indians compared to other countries and the people of inland and
coastal island are more affected with it.
It affects growth, development and many cellular processes and the
clinical symptoms vary from one individual to other.


Clinical features of Hypothyroidism are:
  •  Fatigue
  • Intolerance to cold
  • Muscle aching and cramps
  • Constipation
  • Weight gain or difficulty
    losing weight
  • Poor appetite
  • Face and legs swelling
  • Hoarse voice
  • Irregular or heavy
    menstruation
  • Depression
  • Memory loss
  • Slows mental activity
  • Infertility and pregnancy
    related problems.
Normal range of Thyroid levels: is TSH is 0.6-4.6 micro units/ml.

Medication & Exercise:
  • Thyroid medication is to be
    taken on regular basis and regular blood test is essential to assess
    whether the patient is taking right amount of dose of thyroid hormone. As
    it is hormonal imbalance so dose has to be adjusted.
  • Thyroid medicine has to be
    taken in empty stomach and no other medicine should be supplemented with
    it. There should be a gap of at least 45 minutes between medicine &
    food.
  • 60-90 minutes of exercise is
    a must for the thyroid patients.
  • Meditation, yoga and
    breathing exercises is recommended too.
VLCC has introduced Medically Supervised “GET WELL SOON programs
and packages for the patients of :

1.       Diabetes
2.       Thyroid
3.       Blood Pressure
4.       PCOS (Polycystic ovarian
syndrome)


These weight loss and Body shaping packages are specially customized for
clients suffering from the ailments like Hypothyroidism, PCOS, Diabetes
& BP which are directly linked with Obesity.

These four diseases are prone to risk to life and if care is not taken, it
leads to severe complications.Their weight management programs is outstanding.
It helps to lose weight by planning diet and exercises and they provide
specific diet for the weight loss.


Based on Medical, Fitness and health assessments including BCA,
Anthropometry and DNA screening they include the following planned, monitored
and customized solutions:


1.       Ongoing Medical supervision by
our in house doctor through the program

2.       Personalized therapeutic diet plan
for specific ailment.

3.       Customized Exercise routine with
special precautions and contraindications.

4.       Supporting therapies and appliance in
unique combination to help take care of signs and symptoms of the disease and
achieve weight loss and Body shaping goals.

5.       Lifestyle education that focuses on
practical training and achieving optimal emotional health.
VLCC forbids patients from adopting Crash diets, Diet Supplements or
Appetite Suppressants in their lifestyle. Enroll with VLCC#GetfitwithVLCC .

They have a panel of Doctors, Physiotherapists, Dietitian and
Therapist and personalized treatment is given to the patients who are enrolled
for Get Well Soon
package.

Sponsored Post.

                                                   

Why I chose to become a Mommy Blogger? #Parenting #Motherhood

                                                                                      Source
Blogging is in my nerves. Since childhood, I have
a habit of scribbling my emotions; be it happy ones or the hardening facts. I
wrote to diffuse my struggles and escalate my happy moments.
I was an introvert, so did not believed in sharing
with people rather found solace in writing…still in a habit of
scribbling…previously, the diaries shared my good n bad moments of life and now
my lappy laughs at my overtures.
However busy I am, I do take time out to write few
lines. Now with blogging, to reach out to more n more audiences, to watch my
page views stumbling to new numbers, followers n friends increasing, I can’t
stop myself from venting out my experiences & varied hues of my life.
Initially, I wrote my observations, experiences
and emotions in the form of prose and poetry, fictional short stories. When I
gained momentum on my blog, an idea buzzed to share my experiences with Moms of
past, present and future and chose to become a Mommy blogger.
Becoming Mommy blogger brings back the memories of
the days spent with my kids and now in my Empty nest, the memories of past appends
cheerfulness to my life and I reminiscence and cherish those glorious flashes.
When you become a parent and especially a Mom,
once again childhood revisits you and you share it with your child and the
experience of it cannot be summed up in words…those cuddly-googly memories are
so refreshing and your life seems brilliant and meaningful, when you hold the
bundle of joy close to your heart…it can be only relished.
With the passage of time and changes in family &
social system, Parenting has become challenging and the Working Moms are on
their wits end, juggling between home, office and baby care. At times, they are
so wretched that they feel that having a child is not a bliss rather a
punishment and they start abhorring parenting.
Through my columns, I wish to spread the virtues
of a Blessed Mom; how to tackle with the Motherhood blues and enjoy the bliss
of Motherhood; how to handle the growing kids and many queries of which they
need suggestions.
Down the years, there used to be elders at home,
who guided them and helped them while raising kids but now, when people are
living alone, no one is there to guide and the articles would be of great value
to Mothers.
I thoroughly enjoyed the bliss of Motherhood and
raised my kids with great enthusiasm and never ever I gave up, in spite of numerous
challenges coming in my way.
I request the Moms to be patient and cool and
overcome the challenges with a wide smile and the kids that you raise would be
Happy Souls and an asset to your life and society.

*****Remember, “Nothing comes easy in Life!”


Linked with #MondayMommyMoments
              

Are We Modern in Our Thoughts? #SocialStigma

                                                                    Source








How modern we try to show ourselves but still the people of
today are dwelling in past and are centuries behind in thought of action.

The people around have adopted modern culture in dressing,
cuisine and lifestyle has beamed but the mental level is not so enhanced in
spite of literacy and globalization.

I may sound high but after reading the following incident,
you will realize the truth.
Tia was married in an affluent and socially respectable
family. After two years of marriage, she gave birth to a beautiful daughter.
When she was born, for first few minutes, there was utter silence. The nurses
that came with the child too was upset, (her face conveyed) and they didn’t
demand any ransom to hand over the child as they do at the birth of a son.
Anyhow, the situation was managed by sis-in-law of Tia and relatives present
congratulated each other on the arrival of a daughter or Lakshmi.

After few years, again Tia was in family way. When she broke
the news to her Mom-in-law and her parents, both blessed her with a wish that
this time she is blessed with a son. Finally, the D-day arrived and again Tia
was blessed with a daughter. After the news, there was long silence and none
could muster the courage to break the deafening eerie.

Tia and her husband had planned for tubectomy but her MIL
was reluctant and she asked the attending doctor not to perform tubectomy. Doctor
kept the word of Tia’s MIL.

When I met her, I told her to plan family planning to avoid
further pregnancy but she didn’t listen to me and once again, she was caught in
family way.

Third time, she was pregnant.

When I came to know, I was very upset and called Tia to
abort this pregnancy to save her health from deteriorating further. Already she
had complains of pain & weakness.

But she did not pay heed to my advice and continued her
third pregnancy with a promise that this time, she will get the tubectomy done.

Again, she was blessed with a daughter and her MIL was very
upset and she barged into the OT after getting the news to not perform
tubectomy.

I was annoyed with the attending doctor who couldn’t explain
Tia’s MIL about the complications that she might face in future if she goes on
delivering children after three C-Section.

I take this incident as hypocrisy in society who are mad
after male child considering them fit to be the family heir.

Have we really advanced in our thoughts and actions?

We dream big, we quote of been advanced and modern in
thoughts, but I am doubtful after introspecting these incidents which is taking
place around us.

Share if you care.

error: Content is protected !!