Figuring Out Preteens Mind – How To Handle With Care

Do you remember those days when you were in your preadolescence, those hormonal roller coaster rides, being emotional and cranky at the same time? Fortunately or unfortunately we all have experienced that pre-teen period and we all had done our share of mistakes; cute little mistakes. Sometimes the situation gets worse with lack of proper guidance and a gap between parent-child communications; and this lacuna should be filled up with wits, love, patience, and care.

Typically when our notorious and cute kiddos reach the age of nine and plus who were once so willing to climb into our laps and share their secrets that how he ate the jam from the refrigerator, how he broke the egg etc. suddenly start drifting from us. They love shelling in their cocoons.

A child in preadolescence stage is not the same person he was just a year or two ago. He/She goes through numerous transformation – physically, cognitively, emotionally, and socially. He develops to enjoy new found independence ( even the freedom fighters wouldn’t have got that much excitement after India’s independence). All they want to do is to see how far he can push limits and boundaries set by parents…Don’t howl at them, Parents, recall your stage as a preadolescent and the helplessness writ on your parent’s face. 

The innocent mind doesn’t know that he needs you besides to dodge the hurricane of adolescence. It isn’t an easy task because you need to ensure that you as a Parent respect your child’s need for greater autonomy in order to craft a successful relationship with this “upgraded” version of your kid.

According to experts of Child Mind Institute, to prevent the bridge between you and your kid from receding, you require to pad up the communication gap and for that,

       Parents need to follow a few steps:

  • Don’t take their withdrawal as rejection. The child turns rebellious, outspoken or introvert in the Preteen stage. They behave callously with their parents and relies more on friends or trust those people who speak in favor.
  • Take time out from your busy schedule for your child. Convincing Preteens to talk and open up is tedious. Try to establish a bond, a special period every week when you can give unadulterated attention. Utmost patience is required on part of Parents else it can misfire.
  • Always opt for an indirect approach to chit-chat. The time has gone when they were answerable to those direct questions, now it doesn’t work. They feel it is an encroachment into their personal space. Overindulgence can turn things upside down.
  • Keep your judgmental mind in the backseat. Being judgmental can never mend the scratches of puberty of your child.
  • Start conversing about sex and drugs. Sex is a taboo in our society but our children live in a world where they get exposed to sexual languages, images, sexual changes in their body; all these make them curious and it is your duty to extinguish this fuel of curiosity, keeping aside what society will say or think. Right guidance on the subject will educate them and prevent them from straying.
  • As a parent, it is not easy to figure out the emotions erupting. A friendly bond can vanish the difference of age and relationship and you can help them out, answering all their queries and educate them about the undiscussed zone, which is considered taboo in our society.

We as parents of new age need to break the barrier and help our children to grow with values of life and morality.

I despise parents who state ” We were not of your type.” Indirectly, you are abusing your child. Ask your Mom how tough nut you were to crack. Each stage of life has its own hiccups and when we outgrow, we forget the turbulence.

Two boys in school uniform

I raised my kids remembering all the instances of my preadolescent stage, my reactions etc. and it was a lesson which helped me to raise them gracefully.

Happy Parenting!

Infants get the Best Gift: #NewLaunch #MotherSparsh #UnscentedWipes #Medical GradeCloth

I was using Mother Sparsh Water wet wipes and was contended by its exclusive features. Mother Sparsh is always striving to unearth something better for the babies and the environment. Once again, Mother Sparsh has succeeded in their mission and recently launched new variant of baby water wet wipes, Unscented 99% Water Wipes. 

#MotherSparshPremiumWipes for the Neonates with sensitive and gentle skin. Mother Sparsh is recognized as India’s Best Wipes Brand and has received a tremendous response in this sector and very soon, they are coming with exclusive baby care Ayurveda products.

Exclusive features of #UnscentedWaterWipes #SensitiveBabyWipe #SuperThickWipes

  • Mother Sparsh has introduced #MotherSparshPremiumWipes fragrance free wipes, suitable for babies with sensitive and delicate skin. Few Moms have trouble in using wipes with fragrance, keeping this in mind, Mother Sparsh launched wipes devoid of fragrance
  • It constitutes of 99% water and its unscented pure wipes are specially designed for newborns, infants with sensitive skin and also meant to clean the hands and mouth of children. Particularly, the medical grade cloth is so soft that it so gentle on even the most sensitive part of baby.
  • Fabric is derived from the plants and treated in a way that makes them super soft. These wipes are 3 times thicker than ordinary baby wipes.


  • Suitable and totally safe for thorough baby cleaning; Hypoallergenic
  • Keeps baby skin hydrated
  • Free from Alcohol, Parabens & Harsh Chemicals
  • Contains No Plastic and Polyester
  • Easily Disposable and 100% Biodegradable, hence, safe for green and clean environment.
  • No hassles of maintenance.
  • Use & Throw
  • Easy to carry while traveling.
  • Super Saver Pack Available at 499.

How is it Different from Mother Sparsh Baby Water Wet Wipes

Features Comparisons Mother Sparsh 98% scented water wipes Mother Sparsh 99% unscented water wipes
Fragrance YES (fragrance wipes) NO (fragrance free)
Skin Type Normal Skin Sensitive skin/Extra gentle
Fabric Plant derived/Natural fabric Plant derived + 3- times thicker + Medical-Grade fabric
Plastic Lid Not available (Resalable Sticker) Yes (Moisture lock plastic lid)

#MotherSparshPremiumWipes comes in a comfortable packaging of 72 wipes priced at Rs.299/-

Really, we are happy and thankful to the brand Mother Sparsh for introducing such an awesome #ExtraGentlewipes with a number of benefits for parents and the Baby.

My life has become easy with #ExtraThickBabyWipes.

  • No hassles of carrying or buying soft fabrics for my Baby
  • It is easy to carry in my Baby diaper bag and in brief outing with my baby, it adjusts in my purse.
  • Fragrance-free and awesome for sensitive baby skin.

  • Use & Throw without damaging and littering the environment. These wipes are 100% biodegradable as they do not cause any harm to the environment. Mother Sparsh is the best eco-friendly water wipes.



I have shared my experience of Mother Sparsh #premiumbabywipes among my friends and family group and already many of them have started to use it for their bundle of joy. They all are happy with the results and are using it profusely.

       Don’t wait, Click here and here get a pack for your Baby to protect her skin from rashes and redness…enjoy the joys of Motherhood and Parenting.

Why Demean Mother’s Love for Brand Promotion? #Swiggy

Featured post on IndiBlogger, the biggest community of Indian Bloggers

I am not crazy or impatient for watching idiot box on regular basis. I do take care to keep myself updated with the news, announcements, and declarations and I do tune in periodically to update. Being music lover, during weekends, after regular chore, I do switch in to watch my musical and dance shows relayed on weekends. Normally, I am unable to catch on regular time but try to watch repeated telecast in my leisure hours.

Generally, I don’t watch advertisements in between the shows rather I catch up with my incomplete chores. One day, I was lazing around during break and watched Swiggy ads depicting Mom and child. In first go, I took it at ease but when I watched in repetition over different channels, tentacles of my mind was alarmed.

I felt pity for the ad team of who on spree to establish the brand in the market preferred to disgrace mother’s instinct of unconditional love and affection.

Is it fair on the part of the Swiggy brand promotion team?

A big No…I would say and I believe that the Mom fraternity and the family people would not digest it easily if they watch the advertisement carefully.

The truth is, Mom is the most caring creature on the planet who is ever ready to attend to their baby‘s call unmindful how old is she. The instinct is found in all mothers irrespective of species, human, birds or animals.

If at any time of the hour, the child asks for food…Mom is ready to cook and serve…not only Mom, all motherly figure, Moms, Aunts or Grannies tend to have the same tendency to attend to their child and promise them a good satisfying meal.

It is believed that No Food can replace the taste of food cooked by Mom, because she cooks with devoted love and devotion which spice up the indispensable relation.

Swiggy’s ad depicts that the Mom ignores the request of children to provide them with the sumptuous meal rather places an online order to Swiggy and the delivery boy is at the doorstep with the food parcel.

I felt quite hurt watching these ads and could not imagine as to why Swiggy stooped so low for branding.

Why Swiggy depicted such sensitive issue to demean the worth of Mother’s love for TVC

The time is changing and so the values and ethics. The Kids of today are not so concerned about their elders and if a Mom acts in a typical way as shown in advertisements, will the kids have respect for their Mom.

The message aired should be in the line of accordance of society.

Please don’t create a bad image of a Mom to promote your brand. There are umpteen ways to gather public attention towards a brand, why stoop to such a level where you demean a Lady who is worshipped as a Goddess by their children and considered to be a Super Woman with Super Powers.

As far as I know about myself, my ancestors, my friend circle and society, Mom gets over anxious if a child skips one bread less than their appetite.

I do agree, Mom have their own life and she can enjoy TV games with her child or a leisure period with her Mom and child…but she cannot go to an extent to order food on Food chain website when child requests to prepare his/her favorite homemade food.

Yeah, Mom throws parties to celebrate special occasions and weekends but still a kind request of a child for home cooked food can never get ignored.

I request Brand promotion team to study the bad impact of the ad on social strata and Motherly figure.

Please withdraw the current advertisement depicting Mom and child with a kind request for food…don’t demean the generous love of a Mother.

Readers, please do share your views on this article.

Will love to receive brickbats, applause and criticism.

Ila Varma
Mom of Two Kids.

The Ecstasy of Motherhood!- #FirstTimeMom

After 2 years of marriage, I was eagerly waiting to miss my periods. Before this phase, I was heavily scared to miss my period even for a day or two…and now, we both were longing to miss… we were ready to welcome our bundle of joy. We longed to cuddle and feel the warmth and ecstasy of parenthood.

First Time Mom

(more…)

I Raised My Son by My Life Experiences! #Parenting

I became Mom when I was waving goodbye to my late teens. I was very happy to hold my child in my arms.
I could not sum up my emotions in words, because no amount of words could suffice and express my inner happiness.
While holding M, I vowed few things; I won’t raise my hand on him, I will never scold him in moments of my anger, and will habituate him to eat all that is offered in his plate.
There were valid reasons behind these vows and I had learned the lesson in a hard way from my life and I did not wish to repeat it in future.
Let me explain the reasons for the vows to understand what I really meant.

I was quite emotional since childhood and if I was slapped or coaxed by parents and extended family, it hurt me a lot and I used to feel bad. The feeling that sailed in my mind was, why my family don’t try to explain me coolly when I am wrong instead of raising a hand. In our time, we were raised in such an atmosphere, where questioning or reasoning with parents was not allowed, so we kept mum.

When I conceived and was in a family way, I chose to be a parent, who can give the child the freedom to express his emotion and my first rule would be to adhere to explain the things clearly to the child, instead of taking the path of slapping.

Secondly, why I vowed not to get angry with kids when I am in temper for other reasons. I was raised in a large family and my Mom had to face unlikely situations. Forty years back, DIL could not even think of answering back or making faces if scolded or remarked by elders. Not always, but there were trying moments when we became victims of her wild temper. She felt sorry afterward but only after we were offered on the altar.
Lastly, never to encourage to become a picky eater. I was the eldest child of the family and I did not eat easily. Family members allured me with my favorite food so that I could have my food. This pampering turned out to be bad for me and I survived on a restricted diet of my choice. My Mom was not in favor to encourage my habit but being raised in a large joint family, she did not have much say and I got the freedom to be a picky eater. When I grew up then I realized that I had to suffer during outdoor visits and literally, I used to gulp down the food which I did not prefer. In our time, we were not encouraged to speak up even if you dislike, and I know how hard it was when I visited at someone place who was not aware of my habits.
While raising my son, I had to raise the hand to inculcate good habits in him and later, I realized that it wasn’t easy to spare the rod while disciplining the child. In the first and second instance, I used to explain things but still if he did not co-operate, I had to break my promise to discipline him. I did raise my hand when things were out of control and I had to take care that he does not go astray from the path and I was successful in disciplining him. My big protruding eyes were enough to control him, normally.
I did stand by my two vows, never ever lost my temper on him when I was in bad mood or hurt. The however tough or unfavorable situation would be, I handled them patiently and they could never judge what I was going through in the trying times.
I inculcated the habit of eating everything that was offered on a plate. It was not easy but I had to be strict in this term. I never cooked extra for my son. I fed him all that was cooked for everyone. In beginning, he made faces but I never bothered and gradually, he picked up the habit of eating everything that was cooked at home. This habit made him adjust in all the situations and never ever he complained. Later, he adjusted well in hostel life.
I raised my son with the experiences and lessons that I learned from my life.

My experiences say that being Mom is a wonderful experience and a woman is full of affection for her flesh. To discipline the child, at times, she has to act as an enemy and for that, she requires to be strong-willed and take impartial decisions to make the life great of her child.
What were your experiences as a Mom? Did you ever face the situation that I faced or did you check your parenting style by your experiences?

This post is a part of Blog Birthday celebrations contest hosted by Zainab and Geethica

How to make an Introvert Child more Friendly? #MommyMoments

Parenting is a skill and it requires lots of patience & perseverance on the part of parents while addressing kids.
Each child is unique in its own way and accordingly, the parents need to take care of them…
Some are outspoken, fearless and daring and they
require less guidance while some are shy and meek and they need more attention from parents.
If you see around, you will find kids of one set of parents are quite different in personality though they are brought up in
the same atmosphere has been given the same privileges and comfort…Their characteristics and vital statistics vary because each kid perceives things differently…so it is the duty of the parents especially the Moms to unearth their kids potential and
weakness and deal them accordingly.
In my childhood days, I was a mixture of both; some knew me as Introvert while others knew me as a full package of life and
vigor and over Extrovert.
I myself don’t know the reason for such a dual personality. In our times, parents were loaded with so much of responsibilities
that they did not have enough time to spare to delve into such fine details. They had the huge responsibility of extended families, five children and looking after the house.
Still, I am a pack of both but certainly, I pulled myself out of the shell with passing years and now, I am introvert where I
choose to be…it’s my choice else I am extrovert, ready to pour my ideas and beliefs and even give an uninterrupted sermon where required.
I know that being over introvert mars the personality and at times, we lose best opportunities…though my been introvert
rewarded me with writing skills because whenever thoughts gushed inside me, I poured it raw on the journal and this was my bright side and today I am a gainer choosing blogging as my profession…my been introvert made me Creative.
In our time, we did not have so many gadgets…we had limited choice…either to play in the playground…indulge in some creativity or study…but the scenario of today is quite different.
Children of today are hooked to gadgets, as today’s children have access to multiple gadgets and if they are left alone, it will
hamper their personality. Parents need to be vigilant so that the
personality of kids are not at stake.
Parenting Tips:
 
  •  If your child is dull and doesn’t want to mingle with the kids of their age group, he needs your attention. Rule out the reason for this behavior and encourage them to be active and participate in group activity.
  • Find out their field of interest and encourage them to participate fully. Have open discussions with your kids and inquire if something is bothering them. At times, children don’t open up because of some unknown fear or inadequate knowledge.
  • Invite them to your living room when some guests
    visit your house and introduce them to your guests, gradually he will develop the habit of conversing with strangers and it will boost their personality.
  • Encourage them to participate in the social activity
    and give them the liberty to arrange special programs on festivals and special occasion, it will add creativity to them.
  • Take them along when you visit your family and
    friends, at times, they may be reluctant but slowly it will interest them.
  • Fix hours of watching TV and playing games on
    Computer because these activities nips the creativity and imaginative skills of a child.
  • If he is more inclined in extracurricular activities, encourage them to indulge. Study is important but they need assistance in carving a niche in their field of interest. Discouragement make kids introvert.
  • Don’t leave them alone for long hours…keep a watch
    on their activities. Time to time, try to find out about the activities of your child at school or with friends, it will help you to know how he is performing with others.
  • Keep a silent vigil on your child’s movements. All
    things should not be pronounced especially when your kids is approaching teens as they are quite vulnerable at this age and they need utmost care.
What I did as a Parent?
While raising my kids, I followed their movements
silently.
  • I involved them in all extra-curricular activities and in
    celebrations.
  • Brushed their skills and encouraged them to polish
    their areas of interest.
  • Never bullied them in front of other family members, friends or neighbors.
  • Whenever I found their energy levels low, I sat
    down with them and discussed openly what was bothering them.
These tips encouraged them to come out of their shell and enhanced their personality. Open discussion helps to develop confidence in children and they are fit to discuss and sort out issues.
Linking this post to #MondayMommyMoments hosted by Deepa Gandhi and Dr. Amrita Misra.

Joys of Parenting

Parenting isn’t an easy task, we all know and people make it more difficult if they vent out their frustrations n burdens on the innocent n cute kids, who are bundles of joys in real sense.

There are few things that the parents, to be parents or who are the parents need to be reminded of that while rearing your child, try to visit down the memory lanes of your childhood n recall the tantrums you created and how efficiently they handled without giving up.

Nowadays, when I happen to come across the parents especially the Mom’s, they are perplexed n frustrated in rearing their kids or kid (most couple opting for single child), and have so many issues at hand.

If they complain about the child to me, I have a simple answer or you can say my takiakalam, “Apna bachpan yaad karo aur bachcha palo.” and this is very true also. If you keep in your mind, your golden days of childhood, you won’t lose your temper rather you will enjoy looking after them.

What I feel, people forget their past dramas of childhood n blame their kids for creating restlessness in their life, but if you see practically, we all are mind-blowing in our childhood days and the child should be active. A normal child will be restless n will keep you on your toes.

Never say, “Hum aise nahin the?”

We all were worse than the present ones. Present ones are sophisticated, they don’t eat mud n chalk, we did in our times.

I reared my kids remembering my days of childhood and never lost temper on them, till they really did something that called for punishment, rather I enjoyed with them n felt that once again, I revisited my childhood and became innocent bachcha with them. Even I rectified the mistakes that my parents did to pamper me out of love.

Enjoy the joys of parenting, it’s a golden chance once in a lifetime phase and when you will  be out of that phase, you will miss the best phase of life and the memories of the past will be the treasure to cherish life long.

Whenever I meet couple who are distressed due to child, I ask them to recall their past n repeat my pet dialogue and there is immense truth in it.

Many don’t wish to go for a child, due to demand of attention by the child.

I try to make them understand and ask them to indulge into to feel the joys of parenting and it even disciplines oneself.

Give time to your child and pluck the joys, revisit the lanes of your childhood with your child and play with them as friends.

Company of kids is a great stress booster n it rejuvenates our entire system, body, mind and soul.

Parenting is complex but best gift from nature.

By Ila Varma, Oct.2016.

The views are solely mine and is not influenced by anyone. My writings speak of my experiences, observation and realities that I find going on around me.

Linked to #DAILYCHATTER #UBC DAY THIRTY

#Blogboost #UBC #DailyChatter @blogchatter #AlexaRank #MyAffairWithWords

Don’ts for Swaddling – #Healthcare #Manipal Hospitals

                                                         Pic Credits: here

Swaddling is an old technique wherein the new-born baby is wrapped in a blanket or soft fabric as per the climate of the region. It is wrapped snuggly around baby’s body resembling the mother’s womb and it soothes new-born and calm the crying or irritated baby and induce them to sleep for long hours without giving discomfort to new mother and the people attending the baby.

For safe and effective swaddling, the baby should be on the back and it
should be wrapped in a befitting (neither loose nor tight) way that the baby
is able to breathe properly and can ease their limbs and thus, it was
advisable for swaddling of newborn under trained medical personnel
because a faulty wrapping can result in SIDS or Sudden infant death
This technique was advisable for just born to two months of baby’s life, but
the people benefited from this technique as they had to be less vigilant for
the baby so they continued the swaddling process for a longer duration
thereby posing threat to the child’s life.
The medical research and studies on swaddling have concluded that it is
fatal and one of the major causes of SIDS or Sudden infant death
syndrome, hence the medical fraternity are against this practice and
strictly discourages swaddling in view of the well-being of child and parents
thereby reducing the risk of Sudden infant death syndrome.
These days even newborn babies are active and curl on sides on their own
and it’s a sure risk if babies are swaddled. There are chances that the fabric
gets entangled with their bodies or cover their faces and they succumb due
to suffocation.
If a swaddled baby lies down on his stomach, the risk of SIDS is enhanced.
Swaddling raises the heat of the body and can lead to medical emergencies
or SIDS can occur due to overheating.
Wrong swaddling can damage his proper development, endanger his health
and can constrict breathing increasing the potential risk of SIDS.
Many companies are coming up with varieties of blankets, fabric or
fastener to swaddle the child to keep baby calm but it’s better to refrain
from using techniques revolving around swaddling and enjoy the bliss of
motherhood and parenthood.
A healthy crying child is better than an inactive sleeping child.
The new-born do keep the parents on toes but there is a magical bliss in
achieving the feat of been blessed by a child and this bundle do bring in
joys and cheers in life.
  Avoid swaddling, discover joyous moments in the cries of a baby.
The quote of APJ Kalam holds true, “The only day in your life …Your
mother smiled when you cried.”

Sponsored Post
 

I AM DIFFERENT

Dedicated To My Beautiful Kids,

I don’t want myself to be compared with anyone. I am an Individual and I know that I am different than others.My way of looking at things and way of perception is unique.I am as hard as coconut externally but very soft and clear from within.My way of loving and caring is different , people feel I am more demanding and not concerned about others which is contrary to my personality.I care a lot for all but way of expression is different.Don’t take my words,at times I may sound harsh but there’s reason to be harsh if I vent out my feelings ,my concern you will take me for granted which I don’t wish. My wish is to see you grow on your own and feel the difference.Peep inside me and you will find ocean of love and concern….Love you !



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