Why Demean Mother’s Love for Brand Promotion? #Swiggy

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I am not crazy or impatient for watching idiot box on regular basis. I do take care to keep myself updated with the news, announcements, and declarations and I do tune in periodically to update. Being music lover, during weekends, after regular chore, I do switch in to watch my musical and dance shows relayed on weekends. Normally, I am unable to catch on regular time but try to watch repeated telecast in my leisure hours.

Generally, I don’t watch advertisements in between the shows rather I catch up with my incomplete chores. One day, I was lazing around during break and watched Swiggy ads depicting Mom and child. In first go, I took it at ease but when I watched in repetition over different channels, tentacles of my mind was alarmed.

I felt pity for the ad team of who on spree to establish the brand in the market preferred to disgrace mother’s instinct of unconditional love and affection.

Is it fair on the part of the Swiggy brand promotion team?

A big No…I would say and I believe that the Mom fraternity and the family people would not digest it easily if they watch the advertisement carefully.

The truth is, Mom is the most caring creature on the planet who is ever ready to attend to their baby‘s call unmindful how old is she. The instinct is found in all mothers irrespective of species, human, birds or animals.

If at any time of the hour, the child asks for food…Mom is ready to cook and serve…not only Mom, all motherly figure, Moms, Aunts or Grannies tend to have the same tendency to attend to their child and promise them a good satisfying meal.

It is believed that No Food can replace the taste of food cooked by Mom, because she cooks with devoted love and devotion which spice up the indispensable relation.

Swiggy’s ad depicts that the Mom ignores the request of children to provide them with the sumptuous meal rather places an online order to Swiggy and the delivery boy is at the doorstep with the food parcel.

I felt quite hurt watching these ads and could not imagine as to why Swiggy stooped so low for branding.

Why Swiggy depicted such sensitive issue to demean the worth of Mother’s love for TVC

The time is changing and so the values and ethics. The Kids of today are not so concerned about their elders and if a Mom acts in a typical way as shown in advertisements, will the kids have respect for their Mom.

The message aired should be in the line of accordance of society.

Please don’t create a bad image of a Mom to promote your brand. There are umpteen ways to gather public attention towards a brand, why stoop to such a level where you demean a Lady who is worshipped as a Goddess by their children and considered to be a Super Woman with Super Powers.

As far as I know about myself, my ancestors, my friend circle and society, Mom gets over anxious if a child skips one bread less than their appetite.

I do agree, Mom have their own life and she can enjoy TV games with her child or a leisure period with her Mom and child…but she cannot go to an extent to order food on Food chain website when child requests to prepare his/her favorite homemade food.

Yeah, Mom throws parties to celebrate special occasions and weekends but still a kind request of a child for home cooked food can never get ignored.

I request Brand promotion team to study the bad impact of the ad on social strata and Motherly figure.

Please withdraw the current advertisement depicting Mom and child with a kind request for food…don’t demean the generous love of a Mother.

Readers, please do share your views on this article.

Will love to receive brickbats, applause and criticism.

Ila Varma
Mom of Two Kids.

We are the Pillars of Strength to Each Other! #SiblingStories

#SiblingStories is a blogging train hosted by Ila Varma in collaboration with the Brand Ang Tatva. 32 esteemed bloggers from blogging fraternity have joined hands to participate in the Blog train to Talk about their Siblings to revive the sweet and tickling hours spent with their cute siblings and unearth the golden memories of the past. In the fast pace of life, the array of emotions, sweet and sour, salt & pepper gets buried. The blogger and the host of this campaign, Ila Varma love to divulge in the past and unwrap the pleasant stories of #SiblingTalk.

Mrinal Madhukar shares his unusual experience reminiscing the time spent with his younger bro. Let’s hear his story in his own words.


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There are few memories we always cherish, no matter how old we grow with them but they remain close to your heart because it is about someone with whom we are close and dear with – Our Sibling. Being the eldest one among the two of us – Brothers, our relation is somewhat like one where both of us look at each other and ensure the other is always away from any kind of problem. Of course, it matters that we exchange the pleasantries, talk to each other and wish on the important days but actually, both of us expect and to matter is to stand for each other whenever the either of us is in need.

“ Because brothers don’t let each other wander in the dark alone.”– Jolene Perry

Looking back, we were never really the actual naughty kind of kids while growing up. We had a different equation, back then in the era of late 90’s and early millennium, playing cricket was a core activity that both of us used to do together. Though it was just about regular colony cricket, there was a lot of planning that went in for that, and we would be regularly scolded for putting ball marks on the walls by throwing back and forth on it. That is a good strong memory of growing up, I remember how my little brother would take the bat away if he was not convinced that he was out, sounds funny when I recollect now. That was then and there, but as we grew up, we chose our paths where we wanted to see ourselves placed in life and today, fortunately, we both of us have realized our dream.
I know my brother is guided more by the emotions, and his passion for writing took him past the regular crowd of engineering and placed him there. That was some time of our lives when in the final year of his engineering, he dropped me a message stating how badly he wanted to be something else. At first, I was astonished, he had trusted me to let it out to the family and try my best to make it work, but I guess that is what the elder ones are supposed to, use their “elder wand” and help their younger ones to come out and face the world with their passion.
 Somehow, everyone in the family took it well, and I loved how brilliantly my brother in no time pushed himself and carved a niche for himself in the world of journalism. Every time I think about it, I feel proud of him.
We both are not that expressive when it comes to telling “Hey Brother I love you” but it is understood between us. I try taking lead to be there for him, my overprotection does get irritating for him at times. I am aware of my habit of being an overprotective irritant but I guess I will be so as long as I live, coz I guess that’s what Brothers do, silently be there for one another. And like I always wish for and say, no matter what I do, I want him to watch him achieving the best of everything in the world and make it bigger than all of us.
There is a marginal difference of two years and 3 months but we have a respect for each other. When I see other kids fighting, cribbing or blaming each other, I too wish to get into such situation with my bro…but we never indulged. We are different, we hardly exchanged bitter words. Being elder, I succumbed to his childish demands and never ever complained. Once or twice, I spanked him but he never retaliated or get into action…he cried and that was enough to tear my heart out…and say sorry.
We are different in many terms but still, an unseen force attracts us and we are indeed the pillar of strength for each other. He fills my shortcomings and I conceal his and we work together on our strength.

When I feel low or defeated, I look for his assurance that all will be well. On the emotional front, I am emotional and his lookout is quite practical. He guides me on these moments where I feel stuck.

May this compatibility and partner in crime remains the same throughout life.

I love him and wish to have him as my sibling in my next life.

“ Nothing can stop me from loving my brother.”– Brandy Norwood

Read next series of #SiblingStories contributed by Misha Jain.

#SiblingStories Blog Train is hosted by Ila Varma in association with #angtatva.
Follow the host on FacebookTwitter & Insta.
To reach the starting point of blogtrain, hop onto varmaila.com and follow the linky
links to read interesting tales of #SiblingTalk.

Ready to Catch Up Blog Train with Sibling Stories! #SiblingStories #SiblingTalk

#SiblingStories is a blogging train hosted by Ila Varma in collaboration with the Brand Ang Tatva. 31 esteemed bloggers from blogging fraternity have joined hands to participate in the Blog train to Talk about their Siblings to revive the sweet and tickling hours spent with their cute siblings and unearth the golden memories of the past. In the fast pace of life, the array of emotions, sweet and sour, salt & pepper gets buried. The blogger and the host of this campaign, Ila Varma love to divulge in the past and unwrap the pleasant stories of #SiblingTalk.
The blog train journey is kicking on 07-10-2018 and it will reach the final destination on the eve of Bhai Dooj on 09-11-2018.
It is going to be a long month of celebration along with the festivals Durga Puja & Diwali. Be ready to read wonderful posts shared by the 31 Bloggers of their real-life experiences.
Being a writer, off and on, ideas flare up and this year on the eve of Rakshabandhan, an idea sprang to introduce a Blog train on the topic Sibling and unravel the glorious time spent with the siblings. 
A bond which appears inseparable in childhood days but with the passage of time, obligations of family, job, and marriage drift us apart. The emotional bonding continues but we miss the frictions, petty fights, being partner in crime, competition, fun, plays etc. We meet after a long interval and try to be coherent with each other. Rationalization in relationships mars the innocence and never ever the days come back when we cribbed at each other, fought with Mom that he/she was more loved, partnered in mischief etc.
This blog journey will help us to cherish those moments once again to bring back our lost innocence and a wide smile on our faces reminiscing those unforgettable moments.
The first participant of the series #SiblingStories, #SiblingStories is Misha Jain.
Blog Train is hosted by @varmaila in association with Ang-Tatva.
Follow the host on Twitter & Insta.
To reach the starting point of blog train, hop onto varmaila.com and follow the linky links to read interesting tales of #SiblingTalk.
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7 Important Conversations Before Getting Hitched!

                                                                 Source
Getting engaged or ready to tie the knot gives a feeling of immense joy and happiness and the would-be couple is transported to the world of fantasy, whether it is Love or Arrange marriage.
The would-be strangers or lovebirds are hooked over the phone for long hours, incessant texting, love waiting for the call, love each other bickering, concern, been questioned, childish behavior etc…but it is limited to this honeymoon period. Once one is hitched, these things appear to be a burden and the cribbing start and both people that their freedom is breached.
I believe that it is far better to have a few discussions before entering into a lifelong commitment. Earlier people had a view that the boy or the girl would change after marriage and would readily adjust with each other and it happened. There were reasons for adjustments; joint family, supervision of elders, the couple were mentally and financially dependent on their families. With time, the concept changed and now even parents don’t feel like getting into suggestions and the young couple is at loggerheads because of their rigidity and both are not ready to accept each other views or suggestions, they take it as their independence and freedom breached.

The conversation between Love Birds

Before Marriage

Spouse 1: Where were you for so long dear? I don’t like and get concerned.

Spouse 2: Sorry dear, it won’t be repeated again, will keep you informed if ever I get late.

Gives Feeling of care and belonging and they love the concern of each other.

After marriage, if same dialogue is exchanged. They snap at each other.

Reply of the Spouse for the same above question: Don’t intrude in my personal hemisphere, neither I am too small to be guided nor I wish to answer silly questions.

Gives feeling of freedom breached or being nagged.

To be away from these craps, better have an open discussion so that things are smoothened in the future.
Why not arrange a meeting with the would-be once they zero–in their choices and discuss the points openly…at that moment, both are free and there are no bindings…if they find each other interesting and amicable, go with it else both are free to walk in their own direction…without hampering emotions.
7 Important Conversations Before Tying the Knot
 
 
·       Personal Habits
 
Discuss personal habits that you feel you cannot drop after marriage as habits differ of individuals. There are people who cannot accept the habits of another and they find difficult in adjustments, such as sleeping habits, snoring, boozing, personal hygiene, and chewing tobacco etc. The couple has to share room and belongings, so both should be comfortable with each other. There are people who have great aversions accepting each other habits.
·       Interest in Kids & Sharing Responsibilities
 
There are people who love to get into marriage but not comfortable with the idea of having kids and sharing responsibilities. Discuss the take and if both of you find compatible with the idea, move on. This is a major issue and often takes an ugly turn if their ideas don’t match.
·       Finances & Financial Independence
 
Finance is the integral point of discussion for the couples, where both are working or either one is working. Everyone has their own standard of living and spending money. Some can be conservative and some frugal, so it should be openly discussed. Assets and liabilities need to be shared before tying the knot.
·       Career
 
In an era, where both are professionally independent, it is better to discuss how one accepts family life along with professional commitments. Both ends require ample time and devotion so take on the professional front should be discussed. Some are ready to adjust and compromise for the sake of family while the workaholic chunks give much importance to the profession. Discuss clearly and understand each other take on the subject.
·       Delegation of Domestic Chores
 
Normally, it is taken as a women domain and most of them enjoy delivering it but in the long run, they feel exhausted. There are few who cannot adjust to this domain. Discuss your interests and be ready to help each other rather than binding to gender. Sharing responsibilities keeps the couple closer and they enjoy in delivering the duties.
·       Responsibility of Parents
 
In spite of nuclear families, at any point of time, the matter comes into the light of taking the responsibilities of parents when they turn oil or suffer from any illness. Discuss this point because at times ideas mismatch and result in sourness in the relationship. If you have personal and financial responsibilities of parents, do share in and know each other views. Every child cannot be comfortable with the idea of old age homes and it can greatly hamper their relationships.
·       Beliefs & Culture
 
Two people from two different families conjoin to enter into a marital chord. Few are conservative in beliefs and culture and wish to see their partner follow. Some are flexible and they don’t want to enter into the obligation of beliefs and culture. Discuss each other choices and how either can adjust, accept or can take further.
During courtship days or during the honeymoon period, the would-be couples and new couples are far from reality and they don’t feel the requirement of above-discussed points.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment and to sail smoothly do indulge in discussing the above points. If both of you find compatible at these fronts or ready to change and accept each other habits, choices and flaws…certainly go for it.
I am ready for the brickbats, I will catch them and build a new house  😂😎😎

“I am taking my Alexa rank to the next level with Blogchatter’

#MyFriendAlexa  #ilarejuvenated

Rebellious Me, I Broke the Taboo Connected with Period!


In our country, attaining puberty is a matter to hush and is wrapped in covers, just like sanitary napkins delivered in opaque packs or newspapers.
Decades before, there were many myths and taboos attached to periods (monthly cycle in fertile girls or women). It was considered impure and there was a long list of BIG NO’s that the girls and the women of the family had to follow in practice.

I was raised in a large family with three generations staying under the same roof, sharing the common kitchen. Each generation had their own set of rules and formulas and the kith and the kin had to follow silently. Raising a voice was next to impossible even in wildest dreams and questioning elders were out of the question.

In my early years of childhood and early teens, I could not understand why the weird rules were followed by my immediate siblings, aunts, mother and other young females of the family.

The weird rules were uniform for all young woman though the dates differ. One thing I could make out that it lasted for 5 days for a single person.

What were the Weird Rules?
 
Sleep on the Floor or a Cot – Exclusive bedding was allotted and no one else shared the bed with her on her special 5 days in a month.

No Entry in Kitchen Zone – She, the poor soul could not enter the kitchen zone, neither she was allowed to cook or take food for herself.

Don’t Touch Pickles – She was not allowed to touch pickles. It was believed that they will rot if touched.

No Hair wash – On the 5th day, she was allowed to wash her hair. It was believed that she will catch a cold or her flow will be affected.
 
No Entry in Puja Room or Temples – She was not permitted to perform any religious rites or enter into the area of worship. On the 5th
day, all her clothes, beddings and washable belongings were separately washed and she had to wash her hair to be allowed to roam freely throughout the premises. It was believed that she was clean after the 5th day of periods.

This separation was noticed by all the male fraternity of the house as well as the outsiders. It appeared as if she was an outcast and in exile.

I found these rules weird, unhealthy and humiliating for the people who had attained puberty and thereafter until She was fertile.

I, the rebellious raised voice against such practice. I wasn’t a rebel but on watching these inhumanities against women fraternity, emotions stirred. I could not raise voice to my other two generations in the hierarchy but the immediate hierarchy, My Mom had to face my tantrums.

My periods started later than my siblings and friends of near my age and women of the house were planning to take me to the lady doctor. I was 15 plus and well understood all the things related to periods and ovulation.

I kept a condition to my Mom that I would not see the doctor if these weird practices are not abolished from the house. Further, if my ovulation starts, I won’t disclose to anybody because I find these practices humiliating and
unacceptable.

I even added that my periods were delayed just because of watching these tantrums…it was my pace of emotional blackmail to evade emotional
atayachaar
.

My mom and granny had a discussion under the covers and they disclosed that the day, I am blessed, they will stop these malpractices (It’s
my way of saying to taboos practiced).

God heard my words and I did not have to visit the doctor for the investigations and I was blessed within a quarter of discussion. It declared that I was fertile and healthy.

All the practiced taboos vanished except for two weird rules that still existed. My prayers were heard by them and so I too had to hear and accept two rules, which did not prove to be a hurdle in my life.

Don’t Touch


Pickles
– It did not bother me because I am not fond of pickles, so it hardly
mattered.

Don’t Enter Puja Zone or Temples – I believed in God and could not strive courage to break the barrier, being God-fearing Still, I don’t enter Puja zone.

The rest weird practices were non-existent and it gave freedom to all women of the family and even my Mom and Aunt were benefitted. All congratulated me for the courage shown and the lives of all women fraternity improved, it was women liberation.

No more exile period and it added glow on their faces and they thanked me profusely for the bold step.

Attaining puberty for a Man and a Woman should be celebrated as a moment of pride. It proves scientifically that they are fit, healthy and fertile.

These days, various platforms have started to create awareness about ovulation and periods.

Now no more, it is considered a subject to be kept under covers or discussed in a hushed tone. It is a natural process and adequate hygiene should be
maintained. Various departments are working towards it and are arranging
sanitary kiosks at public places for the women fraternity.

Still, the practice exists in many regions and families and the women suffer. People need to understand that it a moment of Pride and nothing to be ashamed of.

More and more awareness programs are required to educate the bizarre and rural population and the movie Pad Man proved to be useful to promote period awareness.

I Raised My Son by My Life Experiences! #Parenting

I became Mom when I was waving goodbye to my late teens. I was very happy to hold my child in my arms.
I could not sum up my emotions in words, because no amount of words could suffice and express my inner happiness.
While holding M, I vowed few things; I won’t raise my hand on him, I will never scold him in moments of my anger, and will habituate him to eat all that is offered in his plate.
There were valid reasons behind these vows and I had learned the lesson in a hard way from my life and I did not wish to repeat it in future.
Let me explain the reasons for the vows to understand what I really meant.

I was quite emotional since childhood and if I was slapped or coaxed by parents and extended family, it hurt me a lot and I used to feel bad. The feeling that sailed in my mind was, why my family don’t try to explain me coolly when I am wrong instead of raising a hand. In our time, we were raised in such an atmosphere, where questioning or reasoning with parents was not allowed, so we kept mum.

When I conceived and was in a family way, I chose to be a parent, who can give the child the freedom to express his emotion and my first rule would be to adhere to explain the things clearly to the child, instead of taking the path of slapping.

Secondly, why I vowed not to get angry with kids when I am in temper for other reasons. I was raised in a large family and my Mom had to face unlikely situations. Forty years back, DIL could not even think of answering back or making faces if scolded or remarked by elders. Not always, but there were trying moments when we became victims of her wild temper. She felt sorry afterward but only after we were offered on the altar.
Lastly, never to encourage to become a picky eater. I was the eldest child of the family and I did not eat easily. Family members allured me with my favorite food so that I could have my food. This pampering turned out to be bad for me and I survived on a restricted diet of my choice. My Mom was not in favor to encourage my habit but being raised in a large joint family, she did not have much say and I got the freedom to be a picky eater. When I grew up then I realized that I had to suffer during outdoor visits and literally, I used to gulp down the food which I did not prefer. In our time, we were not encouraged to speak up even if you dislike, and I know how hard it was when I visited at someone place who was not aware of my habits.
While raising my son, I had to raise the hand to inculcate good habits in him and later, I realized that it wasn’t easy to spare the rod while disciplining the child. In the first and second instance, I used to explain things but still if he did not co-operate, I had to break my promise to discipline him. I did raise my hand when things were out of control and I had to take care that he does not go astray from the path and I was successful in disciplining him. My big protruding eyes were enough to control him, normally.
I did stand by my two vows, never ever lost my temper on him when I was in bad mood or hurt. The however tough or unfavorable situation would be, I handled them patiently and they could never judge what I was going through in the trying times.
I inculcated the habit of eating everything that was offered on a plate. It was not easy but I had to be strict in this term. I never cooked extra for my son. I fed him all that was cooked for everyone. In beginning, he made faces but I never bothered and gradually, he picked up the habit of eating everything that was cooked at home. This habit made him adjust in all the situations and never ever he complained. Later, he adjusted well in hostel life.
I raised my son with the experiences and lessons that I learned from my life.

My experiences say that being Mom is a wonderful experience and a woman is full of affection for her flesh. To discipline the child, at times, she has to act as an enemy and for that, she requires to be strong-willed and take impartial decisions to make the life great of her child.
What were your experiences as a Mom? Did you ever face the situation that I faced or did you check your parenting style by your experiences?

This post is a part of Blog Birthday celebrations contest hosted by Zainab and Geethica

“I always wanted to…”

 

 

Wants & desires never come to an end and this crave pushes us further in life. Imagine a life without desire…it isn’t possible. An ambition to do something fruitful pulls out from the cocoon and the man starts searching to fulfill the aim.

 

Every child faces this question, “What you want to become?” and this question is raised to the child when he is in his primary school and not well versed with life and the world around.

 

Every child gives big answers, some answers on the basis of interests and some wish to step in the shoes of his parents.

 

But when we descend into the real world, many times “I wanted…” is side-lined and we pursue other than the pursuits that one dreamt of. There are few who dare to stand rigidly on his choice and either they make it or break it.

 

 

General crowd sweeps in the crowd that is in trend at a particular phase and his choices depend upon various factors, the trend at that moment, family views, financial issues n lot many other components lead him to make the decisions.

 

 

The real ambitions take a back seat. I was no exception. The same happened to me.

The WOW prompt took me down the memory lane. More than three decades have passed but still, the unfulfilled wish lingers.

 

I wanted to pursue fine arts in Music. I belonged to the family where importance was given to studies only and Music was a Big Nono. I am a lover of music and wished to pursue in this field to become a good singer strumming the hands-on guitar. Three decades before, options were limited and we did not have the privilege of the platform that today the kids have and the perception too have undergone a tremendous change.

 

I did not dare because the avenues were limited and there was a fear of been let out behind. The essence of music is still fresh and I breathe music so you can well understand how connected I am with Music. I wanted to become a playback singer and I became a singer…bathroom singer. 🙂

In my dream, I see myself giving programme on stage strumming an electric guitar and the audience applauding. The dream satiates my desire and I feel fresh and happy.

 

If my coming generation will be interested in music then I will certainly back them and help them to pursue their dream.

 

At this juncture of life, I learned one more thing that it’s good to have ambitions and imagination should run wild to catch but seeing the chaos and stress around, I feel we should insist the kids choose happiness as their ambition and the true happiness will give them wings to soar high and fly.

 

It’s important to be materialistic in life to achieve worldly things and fulfill inner desires but spirituality is equally important to become a good human being and in present scenario where man has become enemy of man and literally people are eating lives of one another so now we need to instill moral values in upcoming generation and show them that there is a world other than the materialism and for that we need only happiness.

 

Playing Piano

Yes, it’s true my desires did not get wings at the right moment but while walking through thick n thin of life, I learned new things and discovered the key to success is to be happy and share happiness.

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

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