Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Why It's Always Me?

News of eve-teasing, attacking, outraging the modesty, groping etc. has become common news broadcasted on channels, newspapers and social medias and lot of hue n cry are raised against the crime, slogans are written & everywhere there is a murmur to punish the culprit. It subsides with time and all remains under cover.

How can one believe on judiciary when the culprits of Nirbhaya is not given final verdict wherein the law was reformed to provide justice in the heat of the situation? The law got amended but the scenario of women getting insulted or molested did not deter.

What happens to victims?

The victims lives in fear, many get into depression and lifelong, it is etched in their memory, she is not able to come out of it. Few end their life or succumb when attacked.

Who are they?

They too are the sisters, wife or mothers of someone.

Whom to blame…Society, parenting, schools, family?

If the occurrence happens with the family then boys are blamed and if the same occurrence takes place with others, girls are blamed. Is it justified?

From my point of view, all are to be blamed. Amendment of mind-set is required for both the sex; males & females.

I have seen mothers citing an example in front of her son that the girls dressing or moving alone is the reason for spurt in crimes. While giving instance, she is actually instilling negativity in the minds of boys, so mind it what you are saying in front of your boys. Being a woman, she criticizes another woman then how can she expect that the boys will learn to respect women.

It’s my request with the mothers to instil good and healthy virtues in the minds of your son & don’t encourage gender inequality. It’s not that each and every son will become a rapist or stalker but he may not develop respect for his wife and daughter.

Mothers, raise your sons with good values and you will be a proud mother when they grow into healthy individuals with positivism and it will be a proud moment for you.

Ask your son too, where he goes, what he does? Check his friend’s antecedents. Be friendly with your children and befriend their friends too, this way you will know, how is his group and you can be more aware of his movements.

Never ever ignore small mistakes of your children, punish them then & there and warn them not to repeat in future and you too need to be watchful of his day to-day activities. Nip the bud before it blooms into an ugly one.

How to handle daughters?

Mothers, be friendly with your daughter and ask her to share everything with you and for creating a bond of trust, mother, you need to take the initiative and work on it.

Teach her about the good touch and the bad touch and help her to differentiate between the two. Never ever hush up the matter, if any comes to your notice. Defend her and speak out to the concerned.

Teach her to speak out if anyone tries to misbehave with her or offend her.

Teach her self defense mechanisms to save herself.

Single rule book for the children.

Mothers, don’t make different set of rules for sons and daughters, this causes much rift in the minds of daughters and they feel deprived of the privileges that the boys get.

Timings to go out & return should be uniform.

Where to go and where not to venture should be same for both.

Both should be encouraged to respect each other irrespective of sex.

Few words for the girls.

Listen to elders. Track time when you are on an outing. Avoid dark spots, unknown places and deserted lanes.

If you go for some celebrations or parties, inform the venues to your parents, inform them when you reach the venue and when you leave, so that they are informed about your movements and they can be alert if you are late.

Never trust strangers of any age nor listen to their advances.

Move in group of friends to the theaters, late night parties or while taking cab drives.

If possible, ask your parent or guardian to pick up, if you feel estranged at any place or someone is following you.

Raise alarm if someone tries to hurt or harm you and run away to the nearest house or shop to save yourself from untoward incident.

Many girls feel offended that why should we be careful.

Dear girls, you are the best creation of God and you are the best one to protect yourself.

This view is solely mine and I follow the tips to raise my children as I have written. This is my Mantra, What is yours?

Linked to #MondayMommyMoments

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  1. I completely agree with all your points Ila. we can bring change in the society only by raising better individuals and instilling good behavior in them.

  2. You mentioned some nice tips for girls to follow. We need to stand against such crimes to make a difference. Thanks for writing for #MondayMommyMoments :)

  3. Some very important points indeed! And it's important to tell girls to be careful and alert always. Don't expect some knight in shining armor. Learn to defend yourself is always a good mantra to follow.

    1. yes Neha, girls need to be careful. I may sound partial but we women has to accept the fact that we are physically weak than men and mentally strong then Men n to save our modesty, we need to be careful.Knight in shining armour is filmy, real life Santas are very tough to locate.

  4. Good message.
    This is very unfortunate that girls have to follow so many rules but not we,the boys.

  5. Jyotirmoy, at my house rules are same for boys n girls both, rather strict for boys bcoz they stray easily than girls. In my writing, I ve asked for uniform rules for both gender. Further msg for girls is there bcoz I find many girls not listening to their parents n becoming rowdy n they sometimes get into awkward situations.

  6. These are very useful tips to stay safe .Unfortunately there's more to.this social crime than that which meets the eye .Scary and upsetting .The problem is we keep on forgetting till another event shocks us .Thanks for writing with us for #MondayMommyMoments

  7. Ila your have written a post that is worth rewarding. All the points are practical. I agree with you on all points.