In teens

infatuated by the silver screen

puffed in the air

embarked in fashion.

Frisky  buddies


in frailties

of smoking

of boozing

in passion.


The body


in pain

in rage

Caught in the net

of Addiction.

© Ila Varma 14-01-2016














Redemption of Fate

Dark clouds hovers

Sprawling gloom all over

A silent voice
Deep within me
Am I going to be exempted,
From the redemption of fate.
Off and On
It blesses me with intricacies
Of health
I fight tight
Conquering the ongoing
With a wide smile
Trampling down forever.
Stands in a queue
Waiting for its turn
One liberates
The next one
I am perplexed
Anxiety pumps in
Temperament fluctuates
I shout in rage
The words are inside
Why am I empanelled
For all the agitations.
Can’t you let me free
For few years
To relish
The stunners of life.
I am amazed
At the God grace
Why he bestows me
The crown of thorns.
He loves me even more
Without laments
I surrender myself
In his power
Boozing all the pain.

My eyes sparkle with delight
My heart speaks of love
My voice
The people I meet
In the midst
Of life journey.
The power
By which
I retaliate
Bewildered are the masses
They wonder
How tough I am.
I have vowed
With my life
The more you try
To suppress
I will emerge out
By the tough trials.
In this life
You can’t
Wean away my dimples
I will be smiling forever.

© Ila Varma 13-01-2016

Voice of Silence

       “The power of silence is more vivacious than the power of meaningless
words. “
I was raised in a joint family, where silence was an alien
in this world of commotion. I say commotion because three generations lived
under the same roof and each generation had a different set of rule for his
younger generation, so brick batting & wounding with words of advice was
always on. I insist on wounding with words because the rules were stringent and
we the younger ones didn’t like to follow, so we were the most hurt. Still I enjoyed
living in the family and never felt lonely.
After marriage, when I shifted on a rented accommodation,
silence became a part of life. When my husband left for his office, I felt like
I was in a haunted house and the silence virtually killed me. I felt very
disheartened as I wasn’t used to live in a silent atmosphere. Anyhow, I had to
manage myself, there were no choices in front of me, I had to bear it.
I discovered few things of which I was ignorant.  The first most discovery was that I came to
know that the wall clock made a noise of tick -tick. In the first instance, I
couldn’t believe my ears and thought that maybe due to nervousness, the tick- tick
sound is haunting me and I asked my husband. He too laughed out loud at my
kiddish fear and confirmed that the wall clock did made a sound.
The second discovery was that I came to know that even
domestic lizards made sound, “tchak tchak tchak”. In my maternal house,
silence was at bay, so never had the opportunity to hear the lizards.
Been a music lover, I started listening to songs of my
choice and sang & danced on the tune, which made me lively and I began to
love dwelling in silence and it soothed my senses.
I started writing journals and diaries and amidst silence,
expressions soared and beautiful ideas emerged in my mind and I painted my
journals with words dip in beautiful hues of expressions.
Gradually, I was in friendship with silence and I loved
indulging in it. The silence that devastated me to the core, now had started to
gratify me and I was in love. It gave wings to my thoughts and calmed my mind.
The silence had both the powers of gratifying when the
skills of silence is used in a positive way but it can be devastating if used
in a negative way. The person who wants to learn can use the power of silence
having a positive impact whereas if a person is distressed and under pressure,
the same silence can be a demon for a loner and can impact him negatively.

Still the voice of silence has a power to heal,
just one needs to have a power to grasp silence. It’s not easy to be silent,
because even if we don’t speak, thousands of words spills continuously in our
minds and the person who can control this spilling thoughts can attain the
power of silence. One who attains the depth of silence is the one near to God.
It isn’t easy but a regular practice can take you nearer to spirituality.  

    Practice indulging in silence and reap the fruits of silence.

       “Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom. – Francis Bacon”

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

#SpreadTheVibe – Emerged to Be A Winner

“It’s easy to stand in the crowd but it
takes courage to stand alone”― Mahatma Gandhi
Life is the most uncertain thing in this
world but we insist on making it certain, thriving all our ambitions and
expectations on it and that keeps us going.
Robert Frost has rightly said, “In three
words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It
goes on.”

In spite of all hiccups, it goes on and

Normally people tread on the most common
path followed by others and make their life but there are very few who stray
out from the normal path, I call them path breakers, who amble on the less
travelled road in order to achieve their aim. In course of it, some make it and
few break out. It’s not easy to freak out because close and related people do not wish you to take up sighting the risk
involved, which can cause to lose precious time of your life which won’t return
back if you lose it but there are
courageous minds who ready themselves to
stake their precious hours of life and energy. They
step forward to take up with a conviction to do their best.
Even I’m blessed with a path breaker,
who broke the rules and made his own way in spite of bearing the resistances
from close quarters and finally succeeded in taking up his passion as
profession. Here, I have said “blessed”, because he made it else I would have
used the word “curse” for him, as I’m not unique from earthly stuff. I too
resisted, but it was a silent resistance from my side because being a mother, I needed to be supportive
else he might have succumbed to the pressures of life. The constant supporter
of his dreams is his elder brother who stands by his side, whenever and
wherever needed.
He is my younger son, Mayank, who was
the mischievous & witty one in his childhood, but gradually turned out to
be a silent one in his late teens. I never bullied them but kept a close vigil
on their movements, which needs to be taken care of in growing stage of
children. He was okay in his studies, scoring
invariably dangling within 70% to 80%. After passing boards, he thought of
getting into engineering stream after Plus Two on his own. I gave my kids the
freedom to choose their field of education, though
insisted to excel.
He did his Plus two from Narayana
School, Hyderabad and the preparation of engineering and finally chose SRM
Chennai for his engineering studies in Computer engineering. In the meantime,
he had started blogging and his blogs drew a large number of followers and his
writings were quite realistic and the way of expression excellent. I was
unaware of this facet of Mayank, not only me, most of the people who knew
Mayank too were astonished with
his writings. In his school days, his English language was so-so, but his
writings and usage of words were quite dignified contrary to our belief. His
flair for expression has boosted his writings and more of his writings spoke of
his quality of storytelling. I read his blog often but been a parent gave him
regular reminders to be more concentrated on the ongoing study and give his
free time to blogging.
He completed his four years of
engineering with an average score nearing 7 point and sat in campus placements
but could not make it at first two three rounds of campus interviews. After
rejections, he got bewildered but his passion of writing infuriated him from within
to change the course of his subject and he attended few seminars at Chennai
which boosted his confidence to take up the passion of writing further and
changing his subjects to journalism. He knew it wasn’t easy at this juncture to
change but he was sure that this was his last chance where he could take a
chance to freak out risking his career. Even he knew it was not an easy task to change our perceptions
and he confided in his elder brother who stood as a pillar of confidence at
every juncture of life & blindly supported him.
At first, he too was aghast but he took
the task of convincing the parents. When at first I learnt the news, my mind
was out of control and darkness seemed to dawn on me. I was mentally prepared
that in 2014, I will be at ease as both my boys would be in their respective
jobs and I would be a proud mother of engineering professionals, it came as a hard blow to my dreams. I
spoke to him and even scolded him releasing my fears which had bottled up inside
Mayank told me that he is going to take
up All India entrance exams for the course of PG in journalism and afterwards
be selected in leading newspaper of the country and would lead a life of
adventure and his passion of writing will get a space. Again, I had to spare a considerable sum on his PG but I readied myself
seeing his conviction or being a parent I had
to stand to guide him. This time I gave him a strict notice that he has to
excel at any cost as he is risking his career and engineering course and if he
won’t make up, he will lose his career forever.
Practically, one can’t be too rigid with
a boy of 22 years seeing the existing scenario where kids commit suicide on the
lightest pretext but I
coaxed him and it was the need of the hour and few times, we have to take the
risk and this was the matter of his whole life.
The field of journalism was new to us as
nobody in our family or related blood was in this profession. Way back in my
college days, fascinated by the adventurous life of press personnel, I nurtured
a dream to pursue journalism but it was instantly snapped by my father
considering unsuitable for girls. There and then it was buried forever, but
watching my son contemplating a life of a journalist, it felt as if he had
stood tall to fulfill my incomplete dreams. I contacted few friends who were in
senior profile in journalism and enquired about the career possibilities and
avenues and their satisfactory feedback relaxed me.
The luck favoured his side and he got
selected in entrance exams and zeroed in to join The Times School of
Journalism, New Delhi. He joined the institute and since that day, he never
looked back. He put all his efforts and time into it to excel and carved a
niche for himself in this absolute new arena. His engineering qualifications
did help him in the course as now the reporting work is too digitized. He
devoted all his energy into it and did well at the institute and the institute too recognized in him the potency of a
reporter and they supported him a lot.
His efforts paid him and he got selected in The Times of India
at rather higher package than engineers in their first job. When I
heard the news, I was overwhelmed and tears of joys rolled down my cheeks
releasing me from the stress forever. 
true, ““Not all those who wander are lost.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien

Mayank carved a place for himself in one
of the top newspaper of the country and joined his job in 2015 March and his
efforts & devotion in profession made him the cynosure of all eyes at work.
It wasn’t easy but if the final result
is the best, the rest is ignored. After great disappointments, he came out with
flying colors and his success boosted his morale to flap his wings to soar
His life, his struggle is a real motivation to people and it feels
great when they talk about it. How well he stood firm on his decision and made
it work, only makes me proud and I always pray he gets all the good things in
“When you find your path, you must ignore fear. You need to have
the courage to risk mistakes. But once you are on that road… run, run, run,
and don’t stop till you’ve reached its end.” 
― José N. Harris

I am sharing the story of Mayank for the campaign of Spread the Vibe whose dream to stand alone against the crowd and make a career of his own choice and his determination and courage helped him to conquer against all odds of life. Youth Ki Awaaz 

कासे कहूँ



जमाने ने गम दिया
तो मैं चीखी- चिल्लायी
जब अपनों ने सितम ढाया
तो आँखें हुई नम
दिल रोया जार-जार
खाई थी चोट अपनों से
जाती मैं कहाँ।।
© इला वर्मा 09-01-2016

Joys Unknown.


Sitting on the platform

Waiting since long

The train delayed

Hours passed

Night fell

Spell of dense fog conceals

The distance to the tracks

The bright lights that glowed

Beamed dimmed in the cool dark night

An old woman with wrinkles

Watches me

Shivering with biting cold

Grinding my teeth

She lights the brazier

To warm my fingers

Numb with cold

Rubs my fingers

With her fragile hand

Soothing my body to the core.

An unusual gleam in her dark eyes

Compassion filled in her bosom

I was indebted

For her unconditional care

She replenished

That cannot be bought

For million bucks

Nor can be repaid with any amount of ransom.


I offered her a note of hundred

She declined

Blessing me with goodness & care.

My heart was

Filled with gratitude

Tears brimmed in my eyes


An unknown joy

Gripped me

In it’s embrace.

A thought provokes


Beautiful souls rule the earth

By their wisdom & care

Rising above

The petty strife of pennies.
© Ila Varma 07-01-2016



This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Turnings In Life

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
― Dr. Seuss

Life is a process which is under continuous change, no two
seconds are the same nor our approach are the same for the same instance in different
timings. I may sound weird, but it’s true. Check it for yourself, introspect
and you will agree with me.
There are series of events in our day to day life, some
cheer us, few change our ways, some disappoint us, few irritate us, this is the
bouquet of life with different shades and how we perceive the things and action
on it. It breaks the monotony of life.
Just give a thought, how many people do we meet in our life,
innumerable. Do we remember all? No, some people come for a season, some for a
reason and some stay along life long and on top of that there are many with
whom we interact for few seconds, minutes or hours. The intensity of impact in
relationship does not count the timings, many stay with us throughout still the
feeling does not imprints in our heart and few stays for some time but the
impact is intense. It’s a matter of heart and your reactions, some stirs you
from within and some cannot stay in your memory for long.
Same case stands for the years that do change after twelve
months impacting our life. I hear people say that that year was excellent or in
that year we have been through lots of hardships. My thoughts or perceptions
differs a bit, every year good things and bad things arrive in our life and
kicks us with jubilations or inflicts us with pain. We forget good things
easily and brush it off and we hold our tough times with a grudge. It is all a
matter of thought. I think I am sounding more philosophical and have strayed
off the line. So I need to get back on the topic, “Tales Of 2015.”

The whole year was a package of happiness & sorrows,
achievements & losses, health & pain and it’s the same for all. The
stage is the same, the characters change and the willingness of acceptance by the
characters carve a niche.

It was a moment of joy & pride that my younger son got
absorbed in TOI by campus placements and it was a remarkable thing because he abruptly
diverted his attention after completing engineering to journalism and flocked
to an entirely different arena & ended doing Masters in Journalism. Now, I
feel it was the right choice. But at that moment, when he made a choice, my
heart was choked with fear of uncertainty and dark clouds seem to be shrouded
in our lives and fingers crossed. The parents can object or refrain the child
when he is under teens, but one can’t stop after the child is grown up. Same
was the situation at my end and I was stuck in a situation of do or die. The
time passed and his struggle awarded him with the job of his choice and he is pursuing his passion heartily. I am relaxed and in a mood of celebration
seeing him stabilize in life. It was like a treasure hunt game and we played
well and finally he succeeded in achieving it. This incident turned out fruitful
and inspired aspiring dreamers to choose the path of own choice and even I discovered that the passion pursued by choice gives best fruits, only strong conviction
is required to attain.

Another string that affected my life, I dared to pursue
my dream of reading & writing. I dared to leave my job outright and to stay
hooked up in writing, giving wings to my dream. It wasn’t an easy task, a very
tough choice and to move away from a secured income in the form of respectable
monthly remuneration to unsecured income where you lose your identity as a
financial portfolio manager and the chances to earn are bleak and distant. In
one way, I lost my professional identity in the market and a halt in my
earnings. Before submitting my resignation, weird thoughts would often grip me, as I was contemplating for the since more than a trimester and an
unknown fear would caught hold of me. 
I was stepping into an arena where my
existence was nil and I had to start from the basics and no godfather to
support. But, I dared and now I am in a win –win situation because I am
deriving pleasure indulging in writings and I am contended. I am my own boss and
the struggles in this new journey seems challenging and I am fascinated.

I was in dark spell of time, suffering from complete immobility
due to nerve compression in spine. It was a rough phase for nearly four to
five months wherein I had to depend on others for my basic chores and I was
totally helpless. I feel proud of myself that in spite of odd hours in life, I
never get out of mind losing my temperament rather I control the reins of my
mind engaging myself in creativity and music. Engaging myself in creative
things boosts my mental balance and I am cool and happy even in those intricate
trying times and accept the challenges happily.
Music is the only thing in my life which keeps me going and
I enjoy listening to music and it sends me in a state of trance where I see
myself dancing to the tunes and enjoying life.
Life is fraught with challenges, it’s your choice to make it
or break it. Why not accept the challenges and lead a happy and contended life.
My motto of Life is simple, I live today as if it is the
last day of my life and accept the changes as it comes.

Don’t worry, Be Happy.
Don’t chase the life, let the life chase you.

“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
 Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.” 
― William
W. Purkey

sharing my #TalesOf2015 with BlogAdda.


घना कोहरा,  बर्फीली
ठिठुरते नन्हें फरिश्ते, तन
पर कपङे कम,
बटोरी लकङियों से,
अंगीठी जलाकर,

मालिस करती माँ।।

© इला वर्मा 06-01-2016

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