Friday, August 14, 2015


We have been hearing this adage, "All That Glitters Is Not Gold" since time immemorial & it's very true in its own context. We get attracted by one's appearance but what appears to be beautiful may not be beautiful always so we need an eye to introspect & judge its intrinsic value but it's the human psychology that the looks appeals us more than the quality be it any article or object or people & we run after the appearance overlooking its intrinsic value. The impact of appeal is more and many times we adjudge a person or a thing with its external appearance.

As I navigate down the memory lanes during school days, an incident props up in front of my eyes which is very convincing for this adage. When I was in school, I had a friend Vinita. She was very close to me. Whenever I visited her house, the way the house was managed attracted me a lot. The things were in order, clean and well maintained. I used to envy. We had a joint family with near about 15-20 members, indeed a very big family, three generations staying under the same roof. Due to generation gap, the living style was unique of each member of our family. All contributed in household work, so there was less botheration on the head of the family unlike today's nuclear families where burden of each and everything hangs on the head of the family. But I couldn't dream of well-maintained house, cleanliness was in abundance but the things weren't arranged in order. Many times, I wished that maybe someday my house is too kept in order as Vinita's but it seemed a far-fetched dream.

Once I had an opportunity to stay at Vinita's house due to some ill happenings in my family and all went to our native place, I had to stay back due to final exams. I was very happy to stay at her place, my dream home. But in a day or two, I found it very difficult to adjust at her place. There were fixed set of rules and all members had to follow & at my place, no rules were defined. So I found it too bothering. Before starting for the school, it was mandatory for all to arrange their beds in order. On return all had to carry their shoes in hand and place it on shoe rack. Till the cleaning of the house, none were allowed to enter the house. There were too many bindings, I felt suffocated.

At that time, I realized that I never ever regarded my mother, aunt or granny for the pain that they took to run the house with so many people all having different mind sets. I was attracted towards the house of Vinita but after staying there I realized that the freedom to live casual was missing and all were on toes to keep the house in order or to avoid confrontations with her Mom unlike at my house where we breathed freely & lived a carefree life. My heart was filled with love and regard for the women folks of my family who gave their best in running the house and never ever got irritated over the music that we children created, free to eat anywhere inside the house, throw clothes and shoes in different corners of house etc. But we were never charged rather in the morning, we got our things proper place.

I realized my mistake, it was the impact of external appearance which appealed me the most & I find this adage very apt, “ALL THAT GLITTERS IS NOT GOLD"

It's my own feeling so guys don't get offended, sorry if you feel offended.

© Ila Varma 2015



  1. Comment By Mir Fleur 12:09 AM

    I think this is an important lesson to learn in life - helps us be happy and enjoy what we have ourselves instead of envying others!

    I was reminded of a time in my early twenties when I went to stay with a very wealthy couple. They had everything - a beautiful house, expensive cars and clothes, photos of their fabulous holidays on the walls. They seemed to have the dream life. But it was only superficial. One night, the wife had a bit too much gin, and she broke down and cried on my shoulder. Their only daughter, around my age, was ill with terminal cancer. She would give up all her things, her meaningless things, just to cure her child. When she walked down the streets, it was the couples with grandchildren that she thought had the dream life, not her.

    Sorry, I know that's a bit deep (and long!), but your post reminded me of that experience, and I am glad I learned it fairly young!