Saturday, September 29, 2018

7 Important Conversations Before Getting Hitched!



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Getting engaged or ready to tie the knot gives a feeling of immense joy and happiness and the would-be couple is transported to the world of fantasy, whether it is Love or Arrange marriage.



The would-be strangers or lovebirds are hooked over the phone for long hours, incessant texting, love waiting for the call, love each other bickering, concern, been questioned, childish behavior etc…but it is limited to this honeymoon period. Once one is hitched, these things appear to be a burden and the cribbing start and both people that their freedom is breached.


I believe that it is far better to have a few discussions before entering into a lifelong commitment. Earlier people had a view that the boy or the girl would change after marriage and would readily adjust with each other and it happened. There were reasons for adjustments; joint family, supervision of elders, the couple were mentally and financially dependent on their families. With time, the concept changed and now even parents don’t feel like getting into suggestions and the young couple is at loggerheads because of their rigidity and both are not ready to accept each other views or suggestions, they take it as their independence and freedom breached.


The conversation between Love Birds

Before Marriage

Spouse 1: Where were you for so long dear? I don’t like and get concerned.

Spouse 2: Sorry dear, it won’t be repeated again, will keep you informed if ever I get late.

Gives Feeling of care and belonging and they love the concern of each other.

After marriage, if same dialogue is exchanged. They snap at each other.

Reply of the Spouse for the same above question: Don’t intrude in my personal hemisphere, neither I am too small to be guided nor I wish to answer silly questions.

Gives feeling of freedom breached or being nagged.
To be away from these craps, better have an open discussion so that things are smoothened in the future.


Why not arrange a meeting with the would-be once they zero–in their choices and discuss the points openly…at that moment, both are free and there are no bindings…if they find each other interesting and amicable, go with it else both are free to walk in their own direction…without hampering emotions.

7 Important Conversations Before Tying the Knot


·       Personal Habits

Discuss personal habits that you feel you cannot drop after marriage as habits differ of individuals. There are people who cannot accept the habits of another and they find difficult in adjustments, such as sleeping habits, snoring, boozing, personal hygiene, and chewing tobacco etc. The couple has to share room and belongings, so both should be comfortable with each other. There are people who have great aversions accepting each other habits.

·       Interest in Kids & Sharing Responsibilities

There are people who love to get into marriage but not comfortable with the idea of having kids and sharing responsibilities. Discuss the take and if both of you find compatible with the idea, move on. This is a major issue and often takes an ugly turn if their ideas don’t match.

·       Finances & Financial Independence

Finance is the integral point of discussion for the couples, where both are working or either one is working. Everyone has their own standard of living and spending money. Some can be conservative and some frugal, so it should be openly discussed. Assets and liabilities need to be shared before tying the knot.

·       Career

In an era, where both are professionally independent, it is better to discuss how one accepts family life along with professional commitments. Both ends require ample time and devotion so take on the professional front should be discussed. Some are ready to adjust and compromise for the sake of family while the workaholic chunks give much importance to the profession. Discuss clearly and understand each other take on the subject.

·       Delegation of Domestic Chores

Normally, it is taken as a women domain and most of them enjoy delivering it but in the long run, they feel exhausted. There are few who cannot adjust to this domain. Discuss your interests and be ready to help each other rather than binding to gender. Sharing responsibilities keeps the couple closer and they enjoy in delivering the duties.

·       Responsibility of Parents

In spite of nuclear families, at any point of time, the matter comes into the light of taking the responsibilities of parents when they turn oil or suffer from any illness. Discuss this point because at times ideas mismatch and result in sourness in the relationship. If you have personal and financial responsibilities of parents, do share in and know each other views. Every child cannot be comfortable with the idea of old age homes and it can greatly hamper their relationships.

·       Beliefs & Culture

Two people from two different families conjoin to enter into a marital chord. Few are conservative in beliefs and culture and wish to see their partner follow. Some are flexible and they don’t want to enter into the obligation of beliefs and culture. Discuss each other choices and how either can adjust, accept or can take further.

During courtship days or during the honeymoon period, the would-be couples and new couples are far from reality and they don’t feel the requirement of above-discussed points.




Marriage is a lifelong commitment and to sail smoothly do indulge in discussing the above points. If both of you find compatible at these fronts or ready to change and accept each other habits, choices and flaws…certainly go for it.

I am ready for the brickbats, I will catch them and build a new house  😂😎😎

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Friday, September 28, 2018

Are Relationships of A Couple Just a Piece of Paper?




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Once marriage was considered as a sacred institution and love and commitment was the essence of the couple relationship.

Since a few years, the term marriage has undergone transformation and it has more become a pact of convenience…the current generation thinks so and has started believing…consequence broken homes.

People get attracted to Love and love to sail through but when asked for marriage…some back out or buy time…the reason, they (both the gender) are not willing to get into commitment…a fear of losing individuality, freedom, career etc.

Within a few decades, divorce has become common and the reasons for separation are petty and flimsy, in most of the cases. There are cases of mental and physical abuse and it is equally faced by both the gender. The fair sex cases are more reported in comparison to the male because male ego does not let the reality of abuse escape in the society.

These days, there is a huge discussion on different online forums and the way the people describe at times leaves me in disbelief, wondering

“Is the Relationship of a Couple Mere a Piece of Paper?”


                                                Source                      

I find the given Reasons flimsy and a phase of time that will pass soon but people are reluctant to continue the relationship and start looking for walking out of marriage and suing each other.

For the purpose of educating people, who are in a relationship or are contemplating should very well know that these petty reasons are not valid to break the sanctity of marriage.

Reasons put up by the Couples




1.  Adjustment with In-Laws

Both the partners come from different background, tradition, and culture whether it is arranged marriage, inter-caste or inter-religion marriage. In the initial phase, it will take time for both the partners to accept another set of parents and give equality care to them. This is to be understood by both the partners and if any one of them is not at par, then make the partner understand the things coolly instead of locking horns. If required take the help of parents to overcome the weird feelings of each other. With the passage of time, bonding will develop if the interest would be there to maintain a relationship. Mostly girl’s feels bonded in the adjustment issue with the in-laws and it is the right of the boys to make their partner understand and things can be improved by understanding, love, and patience. Putting blame on each other, contemplating suicide or divorce is a childish behavior and it should never be thought of.

2.  Compatibility Issues

Another major issue that crops up in the marriage is the compatibility issue.  The partners are not ready to accept each other interests and flaws. Just compare yourself with your siblings and same age friends does your mental and physical wavelength matches. It never would be the same though brought up by the same set of parents, there is a huge difference in the behavior of siblings. How can you dream of a compatible partner? The interests, hobbies, skills won’t match rather in most of the cases, it is just the opposite. The couple should work on each other strength and try to help to overcome their flaws. It won’t happen in a day, it will take years, so accept the partner and try to nurture by love and care. Over-demanding, cribbing, and nagging won’t reap fruits of love and affection. Don’t conclude to walk out of marriage because of the compatibility issue. These are the things which can be straightened by love, patience and being happy.


3.  Looking for Equality

There is no match in the male and the female, both are physically and mentally different hence the power of doing things and accepting things are different. Don’t compare and try to compete with each other. A woman is strong and has the ability to go through the nerve-wracking labor pain for bearing a child. A man is physically strong but mentally, he is not stable as a woman. A woman can withstand adversity of any kind but a man succumbs easily. Accept each other potentials and help each other in time of crisis.

It is said,

"If you educate a man, you educate one man but if you educate a woman, you educate a family. "  It is a bare fact.


4.  Second Child Issue

With time, raising a child has gone great transformation and there are cribbing amongst couple for the number of child in the family. Mostly, the first child is welcome but a difference arises in case of a second child. If the wife desires, husband denies and vice-versa. It becomes a major issue of conflict between the couples who have a difference in opinion and both seem to feel that they are been denied of their rights. Don’t fight for it or make an issue. Understand each other point and if you both are physically and financially stable, gift your child a cute sibling. Companionship is important for a child.


5.  Career & Profession

A man becomes eligible for marriage if he is working and financially sound. These days, girls too are working and many families look for a working girl for the alliance. After marriage, in many cases, it becomes a major issue of difference and the couple is at loggerheads. Accept each other professional commitment and adjust accordingly. Check the priorities and though women are working still the major population of the working chunk are males. The males have the responsibility of looking after their family commitments though women too are contributing at large. Mostly, women have to give up and take a temporary leave to take care of a child. The male should support her emotionally and help her out to fight with the guilt of leaving the job. It is an important phase of life and a mother’s lap is the first school of the child. There are cases where a woman has a stable job compared to her man, so judge the priorities and take decision accordingly.


6.  Financial Imbalance

Financial imbalance calls for a lot of trouble in the relationship of a couple. Life is a roller coaster ride and life can be fraught with difficult times. Stand by each other in time of crisis and boost the morale of each other and be the strength to your partner. Don’t curse or abuse your fate or your partner, it is the time phase and this shall pass. Helping each other will go a long way in establishing a long-lasting strong relationship.

Through my post, I request all the couples not to react on these petty and flimsy reasons. There is nothing to fret and fight and walk out of the bonding of marriage.

A couple relationship is a relationship of give and take, both submit to each other physically, emotionally and mentally and a mere piece of paper cannot break the relationship easily.

In cases where you feel low and shattered, communicate with each other with love and concern and give enough space to each other to breathe. The decision taken in haste is futile, give time to assess the pros and cons.

After going through a mess of separation and divorce, partners will be left alone and the scar of losing each other will always be there.






The relationship is just like planting a seed, it takes time to germinate, grow, flower and give fruits. Just as we nurture plants to grow, the same way, we should nurture the relationship and give time to grow.

It takes years to build and seconds to raze, the choice is yours.

Many would criticize my take. I am ready for the brick batting but do give time to think and realize the importance of the relationship.


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Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Mommies Dilemma - How to Manage Early Teenagers?








Motherhood comes with a baggage of responsibilities and care. When we are blessed with a bundle of joy, our spirits are high and we feel on top of the world. To take good care of our tiny tot, we require to be good at multi-tasking, time management with a fair speed to finish off chores. As the days roll by, we find the journey of motherhood tough. We console ourselves that in a span of a few years, we will have hours of relaxation, once the kids grow up. It’s true, the physical strain lessens as the child grows but the mental anxiety starts growing as the child enters near teens.

The docile and sweet child turns violent and blurts out if scolded or pinpointed at their mistakes or coils into their cocoon and want to stay isolated.

This is the phase of the dilemma for Parents…but I insist on Mommies because Mums are more stressed by the changing behavior of their children and she tries her best to pacify things to normal.

Reasons for Behavioural Change

Physiological & Psychological Changes

Eminent changes and transformations take place within a teenager. Development of breast, an onset of periods, acne and pimples, increase in size of reproductive organs of a male child, growth of pubic hair, voice change, an onset of puberty etc., takes place in both boys and girls. The transition from childhood to early teens is cumbersome due to physical changes. The child is confused with the changes taking place in them and initially, they are not comfortable with the changes. They coil in their shells and don’t wish to talk about it or share with their parents and siblings.


Mood swings, wanting to take decisions independently, attraction towards opposite sex, sexual arousal are some of the reasons which bring adamant changes in the child who is at the threshold of teens and they prefer to stay aloof.


 With the frequent physical and psychological changes, they find tough to cope with the demands of the body and it is tough for them to maintain sync.


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How to Maintain the Balance

Recall your days of childhood when you were stepping into teenage and how you felt those days. Keep yourself in their shoes and handle them tactfully.

•    Never say, “I was not of this type”

You must have been more or less in the same shape and your Mom would have faced difficulty in taming you. If you say, “I was not of this type”, the child will feel humiliated and get enraged. Talk to them that you felt the same in your teens and it took time for you to adjust due to different hormonal and emotional changes. Ask them to accept the changes as it is natural transformation.

•    Be Friendly

Don’t create boundaries with the children. Play with them, watch movies and programmes with them and discuss and debate on any topic under the sun. Give them the privilege to discuss their problems, educate them about good and bad touch, sex education and to respect both the sex equally. Lend your ear and respect their views. Listen and stay calm. Be a child in the company of your child.

•    Be Polite & Firm in Your Approach

Don’t scold on the slightest pretext. Keep yourself soft and calm. Instead of pinpointing the mistakes and shouting at them, be watchful and cautious in approach. Watch their activities silently and if you find something odd in their activity, explain to them. Accept their mistakes as it is normal for a human to err and each one of us learn from trial and error. Explain to them the pros and cons of their mistakes and tell them firmly not to repeat it in future. Explaining things with the cool mind will help them to realize their folly but if you start getting stern with them, it will misfire the situation. Teenagers melt if handled with love and affection and your righteous approach can tame them.

•    Better Practice than Imposing

Being a parent, adopt all the principles, rules and regulations into practice and then ask your child to follow. This method is better for a small child too, but with teens, you first need to rectify yourself and then you can see them following. If you give sermons, they can react and can seek explanations for imposing on them. The child first school is home and gradually, they will pick up the traits that you follow. Follow positive traits if you want to see it develop in your children.

•    Accept the Changes

You cannot expect your child to be timid all way. If he questions you, don’t fret and fume. They are growing and they have the right to be assertive. Listen to them, reply to their questions and give them the space to grow.

•    Help them to Be Independent

Don’t be overprotective. Give them the independence to choose their dresses, passion, and activities. Let them follow their ambition and hobbies. If you find their aim undesirable, you should have valid explanations to validate it.

•    Trust Your Child

The children need the support and trust of their parents. Trust them but don’t go blind in love. Be caring and supportive and a mute spectator. If you find any activity annoying or wrong, explain them with patience. Don’t compel them else they will turn rebellious. Participate in their activities, befriend their friends, plan outings with their friends and invite them at home. It will help you to know them more.

•    Keep Them Engaged

Encourage to pursue their hobbies. It will help them to be engaged and won’t get surplus time to brood. Creative things attract the growing mind and they will devote 100% of their time. Hobbies help them to ignore sexual upsurges which are quite normal at their age. Give them the freedom to pursue their own hobbies, it will build their imaginative and creative powers.

All suggestions won’t work in all the children so as a parent, you require to be diligent in taming them. The teens who are at a threshold of Teens are more vulnerable and they require patience to tame them.


Your Love, Support and Silence will help them to pass this phase easily.

My Experience

While raising my children,

I never forgot my volatile days of teens and my reactions.

I became a child with them and enjoyed passing time with them.

I befriended their friend of both gender and gave them the freedom to call at home.

Never distinguished between BF & GF but warned them about the phase that all go and how to handle it sincerely.

I accompanied them on outings.

I gave them the space to grow, be independent, choose their hobbies and watched them closely and silently with a smile sailing on my face.

I was soft and firm in my approach. I stuck to my promises and never ditched them.

It was a roller coaster ride for me with lots of turbulence and finally, my silence and patience rewarded me.


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Sunday, September 16, 2018

Are The Mother Sparsh Baby Wipes Comfortable For Babies?







Top post on IndiBlogger, the biggest community of Indian Bloggers




A woman’s life completes the worth of being a woman attaining Motherhood, it is indeed a bliss. Being a Mother comes with a lot of responsibility, care and loads her with tonnes of unconditional love for her child. Of all the relationships on the planet, Mother’s love is the purest form and eternal.


“The only day in your life …Your mother smiled when you cried” is on the birth of a child as aptly put by the great leader and scientist Dr. Abdul Kalaam Azaad.


This is very true and she laughs her heart out when she holds her baby close to her bosom and the milk flows incessantly to feed her baby. It is a physiological and psychological phenomenon found in all mammals on the planet, Earth.


Mom Becomes Selective

As a Mom, we become choosy in selecting the right things for our baby right from her feed to her clothing’s, diapers, bed, accessories and each and every article used for the babies. Our motherly instincts tentacles are very alert and we verify each article before using for our baby.


My friends at Mom Bloggers suggested me to use Baby Wipes for my baby and discussed the advantages of using it. The advantages attracted me to the product Mother Sparsh Baby Wet Wipes, which claims to be As Good As Cotton & Water but I wanted to cross-check the product for my Baby.





Mother Sparsh Baby Wet Wipes advertises in its campaign that it is a natural plant product derived from nature and do not contain any harmful chemicals, hence perfect and safe for babies use.

Normally, the non-organic baby wipes are helpful for the Moms at home front or on travel but the long use of its results in rashes because of chemicals and non- biodegradable ingredients embedded in the wipes.


There are numerous brands of Baby Wipes in the market and claims of all are tall and convincing. I desired to go through the Flame Test to verify the claims of Brand Mother Sparsh Baby Wet Wipes.


Brand Mother Sparsh claims:

§   98% water content

§  Bio-degradable, Safe for babies & it curbs garbage pollution

§  Non-irritant to Baby’s Skin

§  Product Fabric derived from Plant

§  No Parabens, Alcohol, Synthetics or Polyester

§  100% Safe for Baby Care


§  Pocket-Friendly








I decided that to encounter the claims, Flame Test will be apt to test its veracity of the claims.

Things you need for the Flame Test

Mother Sparsh Baby Wet Wipes

A Candle & a Lighter or a Match Box

Caution: Avoid testing in front of kids because they might imitate you and it can be hazardous for them. Test when kids are not around.

How to Do

Light the candle and hold a corner of a baby wipe on to the flame. It will take a few minutes to catch flame because of its water content. Once it catches fire, burn at least half of the wipe and check for the emitted smell and residue.



When I did the same, the smell emitted was the same as it emits after burning paper or cotton cloth and there was no residue left, only ashes. The ashes were blown away easily by the blow of a fan.





Wow…the Flame Test concluded the claims of Mother Sparsh Baby Wet Wipes correct and As Good As Cotton & Water. I decided to use the same for my loving baby.

I had borrowed a single wipe from the group of Mommies and I pinged them in the group and conveyed that the claims of Mother Sparsh and theirs were found perfect by me after taking the Flame Test.


Immediately, I placed the order online on Amazon and it was delivered within a few days.

It is easily available on Amazon, Flipkart and FirstCry, Click and Order.

I and my cutie pie, both are happy with the product Mother Sparsh Baby Wet Wipes. I highly recommend Moms to choose Mother Sparsh Baby Wet Wipes.


My baby’s skin is soft and supple and I use it profusely for cleaning her face, hands and body and bum after every pee and poop. I use for myself to wipe my face clean and it is always there in my Baby Travel bag.

Mother Sparsh Baby Wet Wipes takes care of the baby’s skin and environment.

I am loving it.

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