Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Teach Your Child to Manage Money!!! #Experiences


Parenting is the tough nut to crack and it needs a lot of patience and perseverance to tackle the kids and guide him on right track.

The unconditional love for our children makes us do the impossible things and Mom is always ready with, “I’M POSSIBLE” knocking impossibilities down.

Mine journey wasn’t easy. My patience and experiences of my life too helped me to fare out well managing both my kids…in spite of heavy turmoil inside, I am able to be cool outside & I don’t have the habit of cribbing rather I abhor cribbers.

Many people believe that in initial years, the children should be given immense freedom and after a certain age, start curbing them. I am against this practice.

You have to do the ground work in initial years and inculcate good values and show them the differences between right & wrong.

We all learn from trial and error and parents are there to identify and rectify their errors.

Children are innocent at heart but smart too and catch things easily and if they are left to leave on their own terms, then they will have great difficulty in later life and to keep them disciplined will be challenging.

Train them with good habits from the initial days of their childhood.

Managing money is not an easy task and the children should be educated how to manage efficiently.

I am sharing my very own experiences with my two kids.

My hubby was lenient towards children and rarely does he lose temper. He believed in pleasing them by fulfilling their demands. I was against this and made him understand that he is pampering them and we will have tough time to handle them in future. Initially, he did not pay much heed to it but my constant effort changed his thought and he decided to back out.

I took the reins in my hand and implemented few rules to follow to show them the VALUE OF MONEY.


  • Never fulfil all demands: The first n foremost rule is never fulfil all demands of children else they will not understand its value and how tough is to earn a good sum. Side by side, they will learn the PRIORITIES OF LIFE.

               My Experience: I was brought up in joint family where my Mum didn’t had the power to  tame me and my all demands were fulfilled.  

                Consequences: Till today if my demands are turned down, I am hurt at heart and I don’t put up my genuine demands also fearing it might not be attended.

  • Buy Essential things: I see around that the people who are affluent and have several sources of income, they gift such toys and appliances to children which aren’t essential, and rather it’s superfluous. Parents are spoiling them. Buy the things which are best for him as per his age and requirements. They will learn VALUE OF MONEY AND THINGS.

  • Pocket Money: Fix a specific sum of pocket money for the children. Initially, fix a sum for a week and later on spread it for a fortnight & month. Ask them to spend for their toys, stationary, snacks and cold drinks.

My Experience: When my elder son was in KG and the younger one in nursery, I fixed a certain amount for a week to spend on ice creams, cold drinks and snacks. I was amazed to find them saving from that meager amount and they shared the treat with us, too. I pinpointed to my hubby who used to readily give in to watch how smart they are in spending their own money. This habit inculcated in them habit of SAVING & VALUE OF PENNY.

  • NEVER DISCLOSE FAMILY INCOME: If you are on affluent side, never disclose income to your children. At tender age, they won’t understand the sweat behind the flowing income but will be ready to spend extravagantly. Parents too have to check their expense style. If you are extravagant in spending then you can’t ask your ward to be thrifty.

REWARD THEM: by buying gifts for them on special occasions and when they do well in studies or maintain discipline during vacations etc. Appreciate them & reward them by giving money to buy the things they love to buy or the parents can gift them that their children love to have. Even you can gift them a pot of flowers and make them responsible for watering and taking care. This way VALUE OF CARE will be instilled in your child.

I shared my experiences of parenting and what I learnt from my life experiences.

My children are quite spendthrift and they know the VALUE OF MONEY IN LIFE.

Share your experiences.

Linked to #MMM

Monday, May 29, 2017

Life is Best with Friends!!! #Relationships

Life without friends…impossible.

Friends are for life, some for season and some for reason…but they are always there in our life.
Many have large circle of friends, some have small circle and few have limited friends…but friends exists in one’s life.

However large and friendly if you have, still you need someone with whom you can spend hours without been judged.

It is said, “Friend in need is a friend indeed”.

It’s true, adversities prove who real friends are and all can’t be real and you can’t sever ties with the ones who don’t stand by you in gloom…everything can’t go as per our wish and in maintaining relationships, we have to be adaptable and adjustable to circumstances.

I have large circle of friends and with these social media platform, the numbers have increased drastically.

I am very emotional and am easily caught in the web of relationships soon and I continue friendship forever. I acknowledge my friends and time to time, I knock them, so a relationship is maintained. This virtue of mine increases my social circle and I give value to my friends.

In this large circle of friends, all can’t be similar. When our own siblings differ in so many respects in spite of growing under the same roof and same set of parents. There are stark differences in siblings, so how can we expect friends to be like minded…One or two can be a bit similar but all differ in some respect and the friend circle is carried on well with unlike people.

The law of magnetism proves to be true in case of friendship.

I am in contact with my friends who are my Chuddy buddies of kindergarten and I well recognize the potential of all, still I keep my link with them.

There are three types of friends in our life, some are seasonal, some are with us for reason and some are unconditional. They stick with you without any conditions and are mostly there for you.

Unconditional friends don’t look for some gain or loss in friendship. They bind throughout life and value the ties of friendship above all relationships and with them, you don’t need to be formal. You can purely be yourself without any inhibitions of been judged.

In their company, we find solace and both of you know each other well and recognizes your needs, moods and your likes n dislikes; even very clear of your merits and demerits and knows to overlook your minus points n praise you where you deserve.

Telepathy works great in this relationships and many times, silence conveys all. You enjoy each other company and never get bored. You share each n everything except your BF/GF…wink, wink.

Some friends are seasonal, they believe in carrying friendship for short period of time. They are rolling stone that gathers no moss. They move with time and place and adapt well in all circumstances. Till he is with you, he is totally yours; once he moves out, you will have tough time to locate him…Enjoy the friendship with these friends but don’t bring your heart in between these friendships else you will be hurt. They too don’t play with you deliberately. It is their characteristic of not carrying relationships for long and they make friends easily. They don’t wish to be stuck, they believe in flowing with time. Some are there in my friend list and initially, it hurt me a lot but with experience and time, we learn a lot and I was no exception. I too learnt the lessons of life in a harsh way and now I try my best not to involve my heart with such friends…but this emotional do get hurt at times in spite of been fully conscious.

Some friends stay in friendship for some reasons which they won’t disclose but when they will move out of your life, you will know what reason let them stay back in a relationship. You can’t rely on these people nor can you change their outlook…a negligible part changes if good thoughts descend on them but it is rare instance. Enjoy the circle and be ready to let it go.

In my life, friends have been an integral part of my life and I carry on the ties overlooking the flaws in the relationships….I love to share and care and my this attitude has helped me to overcome adversities in life with a smile. Even if I get hurt, I try my best to find a remedy to it and ready to patch up and my power has attracted people towards me.

I have friends of all ages, some are quite elder to me, few quite younger. Age disparity is there but we tune well in all circumstances.

I listen to the sermons of my friends when I am wrong and ready to lecture when I find them in wrong pit and this keeps us lively and happy. In my group, I have friends of season’s n reasons and few of them have been transformed to unconditional. My constant yearning changed their hearts and now they are in my good books.

I know to overlook many things in friendship and this innate power of mine has bestowed me with a large circle of social circle and I am indebted to each one of them.

Hip, Hip, Hurray!!!

Linked with Thankful Thursdays.

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Musings XV #Lessons

When I was in School,

The lessons seemed tough

After walking miles of life

Now, I realize

It was easier than the challenges of life.

There are fixed formula to solve the lessons

No formula fits in life

You have to stretch beyond limits

To catch up with the challenges of life.

Pic Credits: here

Saturday, May 27, 2017

Musings XIV #Fiction

Fiction in Five Sentences.

She was waiting for the right moment to flinch out of relationship.

He invited her to a restaurant for a dinner.

After dinner, he bent on his knees and proposed hastily.

She turned down and walked away swiftly.

He stood gaped.

Linked to #ThreeWordWednesday.

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Gifts For New Mom!!! #MMM #Love&Relationships

Buying Gifts is an enjoyable thing on the eve of birthdays, anniversaries, home warming and so on, but the request of Amrita & Deepa to come up with the gift ideas for a New Mom wasn’t easy.

It was a brainstorming session, googled to find ideas and introspected what New Moms really need and the useful gifts which can be of great use to her.

Years down the lane, there was system of joint family or the women used to visit their parents or in-laws place for delivery; a well-planned itinerary and the expectant Mom was carefree and did not had any guilt or inhibitions while waiting for the D day.

But now, family system has undergone tremendous changes and disintegrated to nuclear families thereby shifting all the load on the couple. The women has to involve herself more in this activity and so she needs to plan for the motherhood as there is no one to help her. Even if her Mom or MIL is coming at the time of delivery, they can’t arrange all due to time constraints.

New Mom has to take care of everything. In initial months, most of them have nausea, morning sickness etc. and they are perplexed by the sudden changes within her, both physiological and psychological. As pregnancy progresses, she is at ease and starts planning and getting the things ready to welcome her child.

I believe if the family, well-wishers and relatives gifts the things of her needs and requirements, then her maximum problem will be solved.

There is a celebration of baby shower in most of the families where relatives and friends gather for the celebration and bless the expectant mother to bear a healthy child. On this day, there is a custom of presenting gifts. If one keeps in mind about the needs of New Mom while buying the gifts, it will save some bucks of the expectant couple and the couple will be at ease. 

When we think of gifts, generally we conclude at buying for the child. Let us be considerate and gift her too that she needs entering motherhood.

After brainstorming session & googling, finally I got the list ready.

Top Ten Gifts For New Mom:

  • Nursing Bra & Nighties: In pregnancy and afterwards, inches increase of the busts and it’s difficult to hop around for perfect bra. Gift her a nursing bra of good brand so that it gives best support to her bust and it’s easy for breastfeeding. Buy colourful cotton fabric nursing nighty to give her comfort.

  • Stretch Marks Cream: is a good gift option, beneficial to her. These days, many brands are available in the market. Gift her one with Vitamin E composition, so that she can flaunt in low jeans & sari thereafter.

  • Baby Sling Bag: will be a wonderful gift for the Moms to hop around with the baby for shopping, walking and going on errands and she won’t need anyone to help her. Today’s Mom wish been independent, Baby carrier will help her.

  • Car Back Organiser: is one of the best gifts for the Moms who love to go on long drives with their hubby and this organiser will help her to organise her beauty n baby kit and use it comfortably on short errands. Very useful for vagabond parents.

  • Baby Bath Tub: There are wide varieties available today. Shop for a comfortable one and gift her either on baby shower or on birth celebration day. Indispensable in today’s life. If you are good in stitching, stitch few Malmal nappies to gift. It prevents baby rash and it is comfortable for the baby skin n easy to dry.

  • Collection of Lullabies & Rhymes: will be a wonderful gift for Mom to lull her child to sleep. If you can sing well, prepare a collection to gift. There would be emotional bonding with the child and Mom…Naani, Daadi, Mausi, Bua can do this work well.

  • Gift Coupon for Ayurveda Spa: will be a rejuvenating treat for New Mom and she will cherish the surprise spa lifelong. Get the coupon for the lovely Mom.

  • Soft Towel Set: can be presented to the Mom for her and her baby. Try to get same color for both, it will look good on them.

  • Colorful bedspreads: is one of the useful gifts for the Mom and baby. One needs good numbers of bed sheets and spreads to tackle the needs after childbirth. Choose cotton and soft linen to add comfort to both.

  • A wacky one, a gadget which can lull baby to sleep till the couple enjoys their Me time, without distractions. Couple will love. Brands should work on this to invent one.

There are wide range of gadgets and gifts, available in the market.

It all depends upon your choice, budget and viability.

Enjoy the shopping spree for your Daughter, DIL, Sister, Friend….and so on.

These are my choices, Share yours.

Linked to #MMM

Monday, May 22, 2017

Are We Modern in Our Thoughts? #SocialStigma


How modern we try to show ourselves but still the people of today are dwelling in past and are centuries behind in thought of action.

The people around have adopted modern culture in dressing, cuisine and lifestyle has beamed but the mental level is not so enhanced in spite of literacy and globalization.

I may sound high but after reading the following incident, you will realize the truth.

Tia was married in an affluent and socially respectable family. After two years of marriage, she gave birth to a beautiful daughter. When she was born, for first few minutes, there was utter silence. The nurses that came with the child too was upset, (her face conveyed) and they didn’t demand any ransom to hand over the child as they do at the birth of a son. Anyhow, the situation was managed by sis-in-law of Tia and relatives present congratulated each other on the arrival of a daughter or Lakshmi.

After few years, again Tia was in family way. When she broke the news to her Mom-in-law and her parents, both blessed her with a wish that this time she is blessed with a son. Finally, the D-day arrived and again Tia was blessed with a daughter. After the news, there was long silence and none could muster the courage to break the deafening eerie.

Tia and her husband had planned for tubectomy but her MIL was reluctant and she asked the attending doctor not to perform tubectomy. Doctor kept the word of Tia’s MIL.

When I met her, I told her to plan family planning to avoid further pregnancy but she didn’t listen to me and once again, she was caught in family way.

Third time, she was pregnant.

When I came to know, I was very upset and called Tia to abort this pregnancy to save her health from deteriorating further. Already she had complains of pain & weakness.

But she did not pay heed to my advice and continued her third pregnancy with a promise that this time, she will get the tubectomy done.

Again, she was blessed with a daughter and her MIL was very upset and she barged into the OT after getting the news to not perform tubectomy.

I was annoyed with the attending doctor who couldn’t explain Tia’s MIL about the complications that she might face in future if she goes on delivering children after three C-Section.

I take this incident as hypocrisy in society who are mad after male child considering them fit to be the family heir.

Have we really advanced in our thoughts and actions?

We dream big, we quote of been advanced and modern in thoughts, but I am doubtful after introspecting these incidents which is taking place around us.

Share if you care.

Musings XIII

Ignoring her urgency,

Tilting her face,

He bit her earlobe gently.

His biting was so seductive,

that she forgot her way.

© Ila Varma 2017

Linked to #Three Word Wednesday.

One Liner Wednesday!!!


Literacy becoming bane, trying to wane the world.

#Cyberattack #hypocrisy #Ransomeware


Linked to #OneLinerWednesday.

Friday, May 19, 2017

Why this Double Standard? #Relationships

                                                                                                      Source: here                      

Recently, I visited one of my close associates home to meet them after a long time. There were lots of complains from her for not turning up.

I too wished to meet them but my routine was packed with numerous commitments of job n home and I couldn’t take time out for Me time.

Finally, I banged one day.

She was happy to meet me and we exchanged a lot. The meeting was exciting.
She had moved to a new house so she took me to show around her interiors. Really, she had kept it magnificently and I felt a guilt inside for not keeping up so well because of time constraints.

A beautiful collage standing tall in the living room attracted my attention and enquired about it.

Ria told me that her sons have presented her on the eve of Mother’s Day and she had received precious gifts from them.

Just to celebrate Mother’s day, they had flown to the town and while telling, her face glowed with happiness and her wide smile and sparkling eyes were the witness.
“Wow…you celebrated in a big way…that’s nice, so caring are your children.” I said.

After an hour or so, as I was about to leave, her Mom-in-law came in to meet me and she reciprocated with warmth.

“Is Mother’s Day celebration for new generations Mommies, Swapna?” She asked me.

“No Aunty, it’s for Moms of all ages. Every day is Mother’s day because we are the witness of her art. Father too has the credit in bringing us to the earth but the nine months hectic journey is solely on the shoulders of a Mom. Why Aunty, what made you ask?” I said.

“Nothing beta.” She replied.

Ria came to see me off.

As I was about to put on the ignition, Ria said that her Mom-in-law expects gifts and celebration on Mother’s day and that’s why she queried.

“There is nothing bad in it, Ria. It’s quite natural.” I said.

“Budhape main shaukh jag gaya hai.” She said and laughed.

I felt hurt and drove off without sharing words further.

I couldn’t digest her double standard.

The whole excitement of meeting Ria melted and the only query haunted my mind.

“Why this Double Standard? Can she not feel the feelings of her Mom-in-law, she too is a Mother as Ria is.

There are many instances in life when you wish to speak out but you can’t always express and remain in guilt.

Linked to  #Mondaymommymoments

Monday, May 15, 2017

Blessed Mom!!!

God bestowed all his blessings on me and he chose me to become Mom of two cute kids. None in my family could believe that I a careless and carefree bird will manage the kids so wonderfully, leaving no stone unturned.

Time is the best teacher and the journey of pregnancy brought massive transformations in me. I readily accepted all the early pregnancy pangs and blues without complain and my heart was filled with love for the unseen child and charted big plans for my child's future, from which few were implemented. Maximum plans was just dreams seen for my child but in practical, the implementation was impossible.

Finally, the D day arrived and after going through bone wracking pain, I bore the child and when the doctor laid him in my lap, my happiness knew no bounds and I felt blessed with divine powers. And this cute bundle of joy let me forget the pains that I underwent through.

I saw my shadow in him, same nose, same eyes and the eyes that twinkled stole my heart.

Active: The girl who never came out of bed after 7:30 a.m. or so, was up on toes at four a.m. ready to act. No alarm was required. The first cry of my son broke my slumber. The careless lad became responsible and active.

Patience: Becoming a Mom made me patient and impatience was left far away. I never got irritated or felt overworked and balanced my work and home well.

Beautiful: My skin and hair glowed with sheen after becoming a Mom. The colors of love played with my persona.

Attentive: The bliss of motherhood was that I became attentive and readily attended the demands of my child.

Responsible & Overprotective: I never left my child with strangers, helpers or support staff. However responsible they were, I never entrusted them.

The journey to motherhood changed me completely. I forgot my whims and the first thought that came in my mind was of my son.

In nutshell, I became responsible mother, spendthrift to save bucks for my child's future and it made me courageous to withstand all odds in life and the love for my child made me weak at heart and I couldn't stand separation from my son.

The love of a Mom is unconditional and it always overflows.

Hey Readers, do you agree with me?

Linked with #MMM.

Happy Mother's Day.





Saturday, May 13, 2017

Gifts for Mother's Day!!! #LoveandRelationships

Mother's Day is round the corner and the market is flooded with various gifts, flowers, schemes in restaurants and pizza hubs.

Since a decade or so, the celebration of this day has kicked the market and the children's emotions are satiated by celebrating this day and the market does a brisk business on such celebrations.

When we were young, we weren't aware of the celebrations but thanks to technology and globalization, now we too ardently wait for the celebration on this D day.

My idea is to gift something which can be readily used by the receiver and a Mother, a symbol of love craves for love and care from her offspring and though at the time of the birth, the connection is severed but the connection of hearts remains intact throughout life.

Gifts for Mother's Day:

1. A beautiful saree or the latest trend of sober dress can be a great gift for the Moms. Buy a dress of her color choice and give her a surprise. She will be very happy for your concern for her and I am sure she will turn emotional while accepting the gift.

2. Perfume can be one of the best gift for Moms. Before buying, introspect her dressing table and find her choice and give her a surprise.

3. Trendy Jewelry: Women and jewelry are indispensable, so buy it for her as your pocket allows. If she is longing to have some piece of jewelry but aren't able to make it, buy for her. She would be touched. Generally, Moms are more concerned about their children and save for them and in the run of saving for the future, at times, they sacrifice their wishes. If you are earning, gift her the piece that she longs for.

4. Lady Purse: A purse as a gift can be wonderful and the size of the purse should be in respect of her profession or wish. A child well knows their mother's choices, so gift her accordingly.

5. Cosmetics & Skin care Products: These days market is flooded with cosmetics & skin care products of all range. Gift her according to her skin type and cosmetics as per her choice. Women love to dress and maintain her style and her favorite product will tickle her soul.

 6. Coffee Mug: Gift her a coffee mug with her image imprinted on it. She will love to have coffee and if you are staying long distance, this small token of love will always be cherished by her.

7. Book a table at restaurant: Take her out to the market and surprise her with her favorite cuisine. She always presents sumptuous meals, throw a party on this eve.

8. Cook her favourite dish and melt her heart by your hard work and love.

9. Gift her a voucher of spa and she will be delighted to relax at spa rejuvenation program and will feel fresh and lively.

10. Gift her a bunch of flowers of her choice, sing a song for her and submit yourself fully on this day.

Mother's day is not a day to be celebrated. Celebrate everyday by showering love and concern for her keeping tantrums aside.

Women love to flaunt their wardrobe and are conscious about her looks and persona and these gifts will help her to maintain her style and a gift from her children are really heart warming for her.

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Mama was my greatest teacher, a teacher of compassion, love and fearlessness. If love is sweet as a flower, then my mother is that sweet flower of love. Stevie Wonder