Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Crazy Me

 

"Ohh...I am afraid of breaking rules." He said, embracing me tight.

"Ahh...I believe in breaking them." I said, sealing his lips with mine.

We giggled.

Our giggles echoed in the eerie silence of midnight.

Monday, June 27, 2016

Thank You Stranger

images (11)

Suddenly a motor bike came screeching to a halt near my side splashing rain water on my new dress. I was already drenched while waiting for the bus at the bus stop, the winds were hard and the downpour was heavy. It was quarter to nine at night. I had been to my friend’s house for her birthday. The dark clouds were hovering since evening but till the time I left her place, there was no such sign of rain else I would have stayed back...

“Hey, what are you up to? Don’t you have manners?”  I literally shouted at him.

“What happened?”  He replied back casually as if nothing happened. So unmindful he was I thought to myself.

“You splashed waters on me & you are asking me” This time too my pitch was high.

“Sorry, I didn’t do .It was the bike who did the mistake & you are already drenched, it just added a bit more” His casualness ignited my anger.

“So irresponsible you are. It’s your bike.” I mumbled. It was quite late and I was new to this place so I did not want to drag the conversation at this time of the hour that too with a stranger. I grumbled within.

“Hey, are you waiting for someone?” he said

“How does it concern you?” I snapped

“Are you new to this city?” another question.

Was he a question box, idiot. I fumed within.

“Don’t you see I am at the bus stop so naturally waiting for the bus? Please don’t disturb me, do your job. Please leave me alone” I bashed him again.

I was already irritated been fixed on way due to heavy pours and more concerned about my safety. I was new to this city and the news of eve teasing etc. was already taking toll of me, already worried n this guy queries ignited my worries more.

The guy was watching me with utter coolness though I had been so rude with him (a realization sets in when we do it deliberately.) which raised my suspicion & I was alert. The roads were empty and was pouring incessantly. One or two cars or bikes passed but there was no sign of any bus. I was looking hither thither in anxiety.

“See, I’m sure you are new to this place. I am a nice person willing to help you out. At this time of hour in heavy rain, you won’t get a bus. I can drop you if you don’t mind. Don’t feel afraid.” He said with a concern in his tone.

I was totally petrified and confused. It was true that been new to this place, I couldn’t manage myself but how could I trust this unknown guy at an unknown city after hearing or reading so many cases of harassment every now and then. I was stuck in a dilemma n couldn’t think further. I checked time; it was 9:30 pm and I felt my heart pounding. He sensed my anxiety.

“Believe me; I will drop you at your place safely. Don’t overthink it’s already quite late. Rains in Chennai are terrible and soon areas get inundated, it will be difficult for you.” He pacified. He really had the patience what I noticed in between the conversation.

I had no choice but to agree. Tears welled up & I was feeling helpless. With a belief in god, I agreed.

He gave me his wind cheater to cover myself and started the bike asking me to hold the handles tight to balance myself because there might be pot holes on the road. He asked the location where I was staying. I was not keen to share but in this situation, I left all on my God Ganesha hoping that he would save me (may be this guy was his person in disguise to help me out.). I wasn’t god fearing but in this situation, I had pinned all my beliefs on him.

He dropped me safely at my PG in less than twenty minutes and I was lucky to reach safely.

“Thanks a lot” I said simply though my heart n mind thanked him profusely to come as a savior, really it was a big thing to reach my place safe at this odd time. I thanked my stars too.

As I turned to return the windcheater, I was astounded by his amazing demeanour, protruding eyes, prominent nose, broad shoulders n ruffled hair and rain dropping from his hair to his face stole my heart. In this one hour for the first time I saw him directly into him & my heart quipped. For seconds, I was lost in my thoughts.

“Bye.” He said & started off his bike and accelerated in full speed again splashing waters on my dress but this time I wasn’t angry. I smiled to myself and rushed inside.

The memory of this short meeting still pops up in my mind often and I secretly wish to meet this guy, but the irony of this meeting was, we brushed, we chided but we did not ask about each other nor exchanged numbers.

I am really thankful to the stranger who helped me on that fateful night and safely dropped me at my place… Still there are good people on this earth and because of few idiots, we distrust all. Really I was thankful to this guy n his magical ways had cast a spell on me.

Whenever, the musical pitter-patter strums, my heart beats for him and a desire soars to search him but where…Thank you Stranger…hoping to meet him someday if it is destined.

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

wowbadge

Sunday, June 26, 2016

बरसात #Poetry



लटें भींगी                                      
तन भी भींगा
आनंद ले रहे थे
कपङे उनके तन के
जो चिपकी जा रही थी
आनंदित हो
आहलाहित हो
उनके तन के खुश्बू से।।


मैं भी कहाँ शरीफ?
खिङकियों के ओट से
नजर टिकी थी मेरी
उन पर
जिनकी हर कोशिश
अपने आप को सिमटने की 
हो रही थी नाकाम।।


हाथ में लिए
दो प्याली चाय
करी हमने मिन्नतें बहुत
पी ले, हमारी हाथों की चाय
ठण्ड छू मंतर हो जायेगा
तन में काबू जाएगा।।

© इला वर्मा 26-06-2016

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’



Thursday, June 23, 2016

Six Degrees - Book Review

 

Title- Six Degrees –Game of Blogs

Author – Various (Teamwork)

Paperback: 422 pages

Publisher: Blogadda.com/Leadstart Publishing; First edition (27 October 2015)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 9352013891

ISBN-13: 978-9352013890

Price – INR 349

My Rating – 4/5

I am a voracious reader and am in constant look to read more and more and been a blogger, I am always on a lookout for the new discoveries in the field of creativity dominating the world of writings. It satiates my hunger of reading and writing.

I received the complimentary copy of Six Degrees, Game of Blog from Blogadda under the book review program and it gave me an opportunity to present my honest opinion about the collaboration of authors from different streams.
In the beginning, when I came to know that about 300 bloggers have helped to strew these three stories, I was a bit reluctant. But once I started, there was no looking back till I finished.

The book Six Degrees, Game of Blog by Blogadda is quite unique and innovative way to bring authors from different stride to stand and unite to unravel three unique stories. The teamwork is praiseworthy and I love the efforts of Blogadda.

So, in one book, you get an opportunity to read the three components and it leaves you thrilled. There are few flaws but it can be overlooked seeing the passion of the contributors of the blogging world, who have made Six Degrees, Game of Blog, a successful read.

The most commendable thing about this book is that throughout the three different stories series, the five characters are the same and the basic characters holds the same characteristics in all the three stories.

I believe you must be interested to know about the portrayed characters and its worth to get introduced to them.

 

  • Shekhar Dutta is a stay at home Dad and a freelancer writer.


 

  • Tara Dutta is the breadwinner of the family, the dashing, ambitious and busy media personnel whose priority is her job and family and she is doing well in job.


 

  • Roohi Dutta is a nine year old daughter of the Dutta’s and quite smart and amicable unlike her age.


 

  • Cyrus is a law student who joins Dutta family in Mumbai and his character is on rapid change in each story.


 

  • Jennifer is a photographer and she continues with her character in all three stories.


 

  • Dr. Aryan Ahuja is a neighbour of Dutta and his personality is on change in each of the stories.


 

The Three Stories are:

  1. The Awakening is a science fiction. It deals with powerful alien who desires to preserve the Earth which is losing its sheen due to negativity around in all spheres. The characters are quite strong and they deliver well. I don’t wish to go into the details rather I would request the people to take time out and do read for yourself. You will be mesmerized with the descriptions and would appreciate my choice…I am pretty sure.


 

  1. Entangled Lives is a murder & mystery which goes unsolved till the end. It is quite intriguing and I liked the strong character portrayed of Police officer Jawa who takes on his power to solve and leaves no stone unturned to solve the murder of the support staff of Tara, who is more like a family member. As name suggests, it entangles the lives of all characters and the way of expression of the author’s team sends a thrill to the readers. The conclusion of the story is abrupt but still it is quite interesting…It’s my take…Do buy and read for yourself.


 

3.  Missing- A Journey is a thriller and it revokes the sentiments of different characters. The main characters of this story is Roohi Dutta & Cyrus. The missing of Roohi bridges the gap of the Dutta couple. Cyrus is a gay and it deals with his life, how people scorn at him, even his family takes a back seat and the saddest part of this story is the rape of Cyrus by his college mates and his sufferings. The bruises on the body goes off with time but the bruised soul remains with him always. The ending is happy but it stirs the readers.

My take: It is a wonderful read and it’s beyond belief that a collaboration of huge number of passionate bloggers can produce such a masterpiece for the audience. Tit bits of errors are there which can be easily rectified by the roving eyes of the Editor.For sure, grab the book and enjoy reading.

6 Degrees is India's first book published through collaborative blogging, written completely by bloggers for the Game of Blogs activity at BlogAdda.

Know more about Game of Blogs hereYou can buy 6 Degrees: Game of Blogs if you liked the review. :)

This review is a part of the biggest Book Review Program for Indian Bloggers. Participate now to get free books!


Review By Ila Varma.

 

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Race

 

Life is a race

We are always on chase

Never put your boots down

Till you are breathing around

Live and let others live with ace.

© Ila Varma 22-06-2016

Limerick

Monday, June 20, 2016

Prominent Man in Life

The sight of a Man leaves you with a sigh

His dynamics makes you awe

His proximity gives you strength to endure the odds

No Man on earth matches him

He is the only one male companion

Where you feel safe & secure

He is your pride

Who is He?

The first love of a lady

Her Father, Pa or Dad

However you call

You always try to follow him

Happy Father's Day To All Fathers.

One day is not enough to celebrate

Why not we take out minutes five from our busy schedule to make him feel the presence of his children around, who are still a toddler in his eyes, how tall you grow, it doesn't matters, in his eyes, you fit in as a small cute kid... :)

A small prayer for My Father, few lines scribbled in his thought.

On This Day
I just Pray
May God Bless my Father
Easing his suffering
Adding Smiles, Good Health
Returning Vigour & Brightness on his face
Keeping the sorrows away...Amen

 

 

Man Of My Life - #My Idol My Father






Abhay innate desire was to be a carbon copy of his Dad, Mr.Rajeev a dashing IPS officer. He tried to imitate his styles of presenting himself, walking, commanding and ordering. As a person, Rajeev was a humble and down to earth person but his official status demanded to maintain a demeanour which was reverse of his true personality. Boys try to imitate their father in their teens and Abhay a boy of hardly 14-15 years was no exception. He was so impressed by his personality that he imitated his styles and in this rat race, he was becoming dominant and rough in his ways of interaction. This abrupt change in his behaviour in his mid-teens was a matter of concern for his parents and his mother Aruna could not digest.



Aruna too was a mild lady and was well-mannered and watching his son behaving like a rogue was intolerable.



The height was one day Abhay’s Dad found him with his service revolver. He was enraged and he thrashed him severely. Hearing the commotion upstairs, his mother too reached and she fainted at the sight of revolver in her son’s hand. This was the last thing that she could expect from her only son.



Rajeev was mentally perturbed and decided to sit and discuss with his son, why his behaviour was on rapid change and that too not on right direction. He well knew that the teenagers are the tough creatures to handle and this physical abuse will not change him for the good rather the result can worsen the situation and he needed immediate attention.



Next morning, he asked Abhay to pack the bags for an outing. Abhay too was perplexed but he obeyed the orders of his Dad. Aruna too sighted her husband with a questionable look but did not indulge in questionnaires because she had immense faith in her husband, Rajeev and she was well-acquainted with his tactics to handle.



Rajeev stopped the car on the highway, away from the posting town, where none recognised him as a Police Officer and it was easy for him to be on excursion with his son. This was their first outing without Aruna at side.



They eased themselves in a hotel and then they retreated for the restaurant to fill their tummies and satiate the mind with the queries flaring in both minds…Rajeev & Abhay.

Abhay could not understand the purpose of unplanned outing and though he was enjoying the proximity of his father but he was alarmed too for the bombarding and Rajeev mind was on windmill…how to discipline Abhay who had started to tread on wrong path.



Rajeev went into a trance…down to the memory lane when his father had confronted him playing marbles with the rustics of the town. His father had beat him black and blue and locked him in a dark dingy room and he was locked for two days without food and his mother could not supersede his father’s orders and she too was without food for whole two days. This beating mended his life’s way forever and he transformed into a dutiful son and a respectable figure of town and his hard work and intellect applauded him with cracking Civil Services with a reasonable rank.



“Good afternoon Sir…here is the menu card. Order please.” The sudden voice of the waiter broke his reverie and he returned to present.



He moved the card towards Abhay and asked him to place the orders as per his choice for both of them.



Abhay saw his father with awe but did not spell out anything. He placed the orders for lunch.



“Abhay…why there is a sudden change in your behaviour, is anything bothering you?” Rajeev enquired with Abhay.



“Papa, I don’t think so, please tell me…what are your complains?”



“Beta…I am finding enormous change in your behaviour, your ways of interactions…you are becoming rough day by day…don’t you know how dangerous revolver is…how you dared to touch my service revolver. Don’t you know if any untoward incident takes place with service revolver, my prestige and power will be at stake? Why you are down this line?” Finally Rajeev cleared his observations regarding Abhay.



“Papa…there is nothing as such. I am a great fan of yours and I want myself to fit in your shoes…your persona as a Police officer impresses me a lot and I am trying to imitate your styles in uniform. I was posing with your service revolver…no other intentions.” Abhay replied.



Rajeev was stunned with his son’s reply and a lone tear trickled down his cheeks and he was filled with remorse…guilt of misunderstanding his innocent son.



“Papa, why are you crying? I am sorry if I have hurt you in any way.” Saying this, he came near Rajeev and circled him in his small arms, giving a soft peck.



Rajeev took him in his lap and showered kisses and hugs and it washed the burden of guilt that he was carrying since more than twenty four hours and he felt quite relieved.

“Abhay…have you seen me behaving untoward in my family and friends. I am tough in my job. If you really wish to imitate me then try to procure strength from me to endure odds of life and inculcate habit of working hard and one day, you will be on much better position than I hold today and that day will be the best day of my life…I have to manage criminals & tricksters so I am tricky and tough but that’s my artificial enamour dear. The real self is this me that you encounter every day.”



“Yes Sir…here is your order…It’s my pleasure to serve you…Welcome…dine and enjoy.” The waiter interrupted us and laid the table artistically.



“Aruna…there is nothing to worry…your star is on right path…prepare dinner of our choice, we will be right there by late night…good bye my love.” Abhay called up Aruna to deliver the good news that there was nothing to worry.



Abhay and Rajeev felt relaxed and enjoyed the meal and high five the order placed by his son.



They packed their bags and with loud songs played in the Scorpio, Rajeev accelerated to full speed to return back to Aruna who was waiting for her love, Rajeev and Abhay.






‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’


 #rediGO #JustLikeDad

Disclaimer: It is purely fictional & any resemblance to living or dead is just coincidental.






Thursday, June 16, 2016

One Liner Wednesday -#Nature

 
Wish, I could enjoy the caresses of the soft breeze on a full moon day, lying close in the warm embrace of my beloved...a moment of ecstasy.

 

#1linerWeds.

1linerwedsbadgewes

 

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Limericks Week 24

Once upon a time, fell in love with a mime

Got crazy and wasted a lot of dime

In a short time, I realized the boy

Was dumb and coy

Moved further from committing a crime... :P


© Ila Varma 13-06-2016

MINDANDLIFEMATTERS

 

 

Options

 

Options are for those,

where choices are available

there is no existence of options

who can't make choices.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Welcome to Cafe Karma





Life credits you with best and worst things based on your karma. It’s cent percent true. Dharma is just a perception to follow life in routine adhering to it. In primitive days, people were innocent and unaware so the Rishis bound science with Dharma and propagated it, so that people follow it religiously. An unknown fear gripped the people that if they don’t follow the way it is advised, instances may go wrong, and the people came under the influence of dharma so much that they started neglecting karma. Turn your eyes around, you will see that more and more people are thronging to religious places and in spite of been well-educated, they believe in typical superstitions and blind faith and are always on the run to secure life and future. But about karma, it is standing at zero.

See…people don’t get offended…it’s my sole view and I am a karmic person and solely believes on karma. People may question me …what about Dharma? I can’t deny that I don’t follow the principles of Dharma…I do follow but in a very practical way…rather you can say…I am carrying the family traditions that is going on in my family so that the traditions are been carried from one generation to another and been a family person, I need to follow and hand over to my coming generations…but I don’t add something flimsy to it nor do I propagate blind faiths.

I follow karma religiously and am a firm believer that as you sow, so you reap. It’s the bare truth of life and further I believe that if you do good things, it will boomerang to you, so keep on doing good deeds, later or earlier you will receive the same. Many times we are offended that in spite of doing or thinking nice of all, why am I at receiving end with so many hurdles in life. Actually, life is a part and parcel of good and bitter days but we count only the hardships, never do we count our blessings…life will be monotonous if all days are the same. The weather and life are the same, it keeps on changing and to enjoy pleasure, we need to go through pain.

A mother is blessed with a bundle of joy after undergoing bone wracking pain…so is the life…we human are so selfish that we count the pain but never the pleasure.

My experience and my perspectives say that believe in Dharma but keep on increasing your karmic angle and you will find distinct change in yourself and your life ahead. My life isn’t free with hurdles but I never blame God and I accept the hurdles in the same way as blessings and I am at ease.

I have seen people watering Tulsi plants, worshipping deities for long hours, abstaining from non-veg foods on few specific days, wearing specific color on specific days of week but peeping inside their life left me uncomfortable. The lunch is not provided fresh or on time to school going children, the husband and in-laws don’t get breakfast and lunch on time, the whole house looks like a garbage bin, clothes and dirt littered around and the superior lady of the house is busy in welcoming the imaginary god…what is it…which Dharma says to follow such routine and offend all…I sum up in one line…it is all hypocrisy and show off and the one following is not going to gain.

In life, first comes the karma and the karma says to fulfil your duties first and that too with due respect and love, then only you are going to flourish in life.

It is good to water Tulsi plants, it is good for the environment and it can be watered in later part of the day but not at the cost of family and children. They need to be attended first.



My life is the best example of Karma and I have gained a lot in my life due to indulgence in Karma.

From childhood days, I am quite helpful and try to help people around at the maximum, even I have maximum attributes of sharing…I am not trying to be extravagant to show myself, the people who know me can never deny this fact.

And, yes, I have received the efforts and help of people around and well-wishers when I was surrounded by tough situations. At times, the situations were so tense that I felt like I would succumb alone. It is the grace of unknown power on me that someone or the other would be around and things moved off comfortably without disturbing my life.
There are times that the people whom you have helped will ignore you and even by mistake, they won’t sniff close to you. It gives pain on those instances, but believe me, ignore them. Some other person will stand by you…so you won’t be left unattended, that’s the greatness of your karma.

Bind yourself with Dharma to maintain good and healthy hygiene and cleanliness around and indulge in improving your deeds and never ever give up…Keep on doing…we are human and we are bound to err…but learn from your errors and improve yourself.
Give a glass of water to thirsty people, spare your garments for the scarce clothed population, donate food to hungry and donate money to poor.

There is no heaven or hell in space…it is here on earth and we are awarded with it in our lifetime and the day the debits and credits of life is equal, life halts.


This is my way of life…simple and expressive…no superstition…no show offs and I do get rewarded often owing my karma.



‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’



Saturday, June 11, 2016

Book Review- Let Me Die

20160610_170949

 

I feel lucky to be chosen by the author Prince Simson for the book review of his novel, “Let Me Die” by the Publisher, Dream House Publications.

The plot is quite realistic, a story of a neighborhood which takes place amidst our society and the twists and turns of the plot keeps you glued till the end. The end is quite tragic and it shudders our soul with many erupting queries.

It is about a character Robin Das, who hails from a simple family and his family dreams are set on him. He joins the engineering college and befriends two guys, IAS and Chetan, his roommates. They all gel well. Robin is attracted to a girl, Kriti of the same college and he is able to impress the girl and the first part of story progresses with his love life. The girl hails from an affluent class unlike Robin and Robin did not discloses his original status rather he finds a job to match the demands of her love life. Their relationship is short-lived as Robin is not interested to dwell in physical relationship and eventually the girl walks away from his life. The scar of ditching is severe for Robin and it is difficult to face the trauma of failed relationship.

On way to get out of shock of his love life, he accidentally spots Ashma and feels a spark for her. Again he gets into the relationship in spite of dissuasion from his roommate Chetan who despises this relationship on account of disparity of religion.

The fate of Robin is decided and hence he overlooks his friend’s advice and gets involved with Ashma.

With time, the relationship progresses to an advanced stage and this time on the insistence of his friends, he makes a mistake of indulging in physical relationship.

The perspective behind it was not to quench the thirst of sex but it was to seal the relationship forever, but did it help? No, rather it became a reason to spoil the life of two families.

The two families lost their kids forever.

The roommate betrayed Robin and captured the intimate acts of the duo and circulated its video in cyber space and when it came into the knowledge of the girl, who came from a family below poverty line and the lives of many were on stake to her settlement.

She could not accept and hence ended her life.

Robin was devastated by the loss of Ashma and when he becomes aware of the reason behind her suicide, he holds himself responsible and it becomes tough to bear the trauma.

After the death of Ashma, the trio visits her parents and comes to know of her originality.

Robin dares to sell his organ for a reasonable amount and transfers half amount to Ashma family to meet their needs and half to his parents and ends his life to meet his love reigning in heaven.

It is an act of repentance by the character of the novel for the guilt that he carries and holds him responsible for the end of life, Ashma.

I would suggest the book –lovers to buy the book “Let Me Die” and read what turns & twists of events takes place. It is an emotional piece and the emotions will be stirred of the readers.

It is a story of Love, Mistake and Sacrifice to repent the committed sins.

The teenage minds are like clay and it gets easily moulded as per the situation and in love, one becomes daring.

My advice to the teenagers is to think twice before taking a step, if ever you get entangled in situations, seek advice of seniors instead of friends of same age especially in teens and there are many ways to repent rather than ending one’s life.

In stories, the plot is so chosen to stir the minds of audience but in life, don’t ever think of suicide. It is too a sin.

The author Prince Simson has done justice with the novel and has been able to engage the minds of audience. Just a bit of request, I have for the author to rectify the grammatical errors, though the author has declared in the beginning itself not to consider him Master of English language, but still with the help of editing team, it can be sorted out.

I wish the author great success for this book and wish him great success for his future endeavours.

My Ratings 4/5.

Buy the book at Amazon

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Don'ts for Swaddling - #Healthcare #Manipal Hospitals

                                                         Pic Credits: here

Swaddling is an old technique wherein the new-born baby is wrapped in a blanket or soft fabric as per the climate of the region. It is wrapped snuggly around baby’s body resembling the mother’s womb and it soothes new-born and calm the crying or irritated baby and induce them to sleep for long hours without giving discomfort to new mother and the people attending the baby.
For safe and effective swaddling, the baby should be on back and it should be wrapped in a befitting (neither loose nor tight) way that the baby is able to breathe properly and can ease their limbs and thus, it was advisable for swaddling of new born under trained medical personnel because a faulty wrapping can result to SIDS or Sudden infant death syndrome.
This technique was advisable for just born to two months of baby’s life, but the people benefited from this technique as they had to be less vigilant for the baby so they continued the swaddling process for a longer duration thereby posing threat to child’s life.
The medical research and studies on swaddling have concluded that it is fatal and one of the major causes of SIDS or Sudden infant death syndrome, hence the medical fraternity are against this practice and strictly discourages swaddling in view of well-being of child and parents thereby reducing the risk of Sudden infant death syndrome.
These days even new born babies are active and curl on sides on their own and it’s a sure risk if babies are swaddled. There are chances that the fabric gets entangled with their bodies or cover their faces and they succumb due to suffocation.
If a swaddled baby lies down on his stomach, the risk of SIDS is enhanced.
Swaddling raises the heat of the body and can lead to medical emergencies or SIDS can occur due to overheating.
Wrong swaddling can damage his proper development, endanger his health and can constrict breathing increasing the potential risk of SIDS.
Many companies are coming up with varieties of blankets, fabric or fastener to swaddle the child to keep baby calm but it’s better to refrain from using techniques revolving around swaddling and enjoy the bliss of motherhood and parenthood.
A healthy crying child is better than an inactive sleeping child.
The new-born do keep the parents on toes but there is a magical bliss in achieving the feat of been blessed by a child and this bundle do brings in joys and cheers in life.
Avoid swaddling, find joys in the cries of a baby.
The quote of APJ Kalam holds true, “The only day in your life …Your mother smiled when you cried.”

Monday, June 6, 2016

Musings

 

In a bid to enhance her creativity

She ambled on the wrong path

Spoiling her originality.

.© Ila Varma 06-06-2016

 

Redefine Gen Next- Join Ariel

statistics1

 

Being in the mid- forties, I have been lucky to see my great grandparents, my grandparents (both paternal & maternal side), my parents and now I am with my sons and a daughter-in-law.

When I aggregate my experiences of all these years, I feel I am quite rich in experiences, the ups and downs, the happy and the ugly, the highs & lows, I have been spectator of all and I have gained a lot from those times.

It helped me to handle the situations of life and even tough ones seems minuscule to me, it’s all because of the experiences I have gained in the early tenure of my life.

In my paternal side, there were lot of daughters and sons were in counting, very few so naturally the male members were more pampered than the girls of our family and they too showed their power to girls, ordering them, making them run for honoring the guests and blah, blah…. Undefinable.

Times changed and so the situations too took a U turn and gradually a concern and regard for girls developed and they were no more regarded as a burden or load.

This was my era, we are four sisters and one brother, the youngest one.

If somebody at school or colony inquired about my siblings, Mine answer was a simple one,

“Bhai ke intezaar mein, char behen.” And listening to my reply, many frowned or smirked at me.

I would sum up, “where am I wrong, it’s a truth."

People would laugh as if I had cracked a joke….okay…it was for lighter vein…let’s move forward to the topic.

In our time, we had enough support staff at home plus a joint family, so we did not had much concern as how the work at home will be managed and who will do.

Due to joint family system, even Mom and Granny did not had tough time as of now, but I must mention that the best life was of the male members…their life revolved around one word…Dominance and none could supersede them or cut through.

So the male members had royal life, ironed clothes laid on bed, breakfast and dinner laid on the table, polished shoes waiting at the doorstep, few were so royal that they got water filled mugs in toilets….Wow…posh and regal life

I feel if they had the option, they would have asked to feed them and clean their potty. It wasn’t their fault, they were reared like that that the male members cannot help or do any domestic work, their part is to see the financial aspects of house and has to earn for the family, that’s it.

Who filled their minds with these rubbish?  Women of the house…be it Granny, Mom, Aunts or Elder Sisters and neighborhood Aunts, how can they be missed.

The male members regarded themselves as Super power and they enacted their roles in the best possible way.

Family disintegrated, nuclear families came up owing to employment in urban areas and families moved away.

The support staff too was not readily available and the lady of the house too started earning…the result was the overburden on the woman of the family. She did not complain till she could bear but a time came up, when she could not handle anymore.

She longed for help, someone who could #ShareTheLoad. Gradually, the men of the family realized that his better half needed help to run the house.

The irony was when the men found their ladies as logs on bed, not responding to their calls and the advertisements, the NGO voices, the social media efforts to make male members realize that they too have their role in household chores and even the mothers who spoiled their brats in youth started condemning them for been non-supportive and even the kids started demanding things from their Pops, in helping them to ready them for school, pack their tiffin- box etc….so from all quarters, the Men started receiving calls to bug up and enter the domain of kitchen and home, which was considered as a woman’s world.

Finally, Men took their turns and started managing the woman’s world. In the beginning, they did spoil things, disturbed the management…but this has to come…they were new learners and people learn from trials and errors, we all know and we the women too have gone to excellence treading on the same path….this was the period when I got married and moved in my independent domain…and I was the one who smirked and scorned when things did not go proper…but tried to hush the matter and did not disclose my dissatisfaction, else I would not have received the support.

I turned my head around to watch others in my locality…yes…all the male members had changed their mind set and was involved in sharing the load of their Madame’s in some way or the other….Ahh…Finally the Men were in.

In the start, they helped in getting the kids ready for morning school, packing the cooked breakfast, dropping at school bus stop, polishing shoes and gradually…they found themselves in kitchen doing cooking on special days, learnt to operate washing machines…so they had taken up the work of laundry in their hands…wives left them to manage their own daily clothes and kids uniform, did not let them venture into their dresses world…they dreaded the consequence.

This whole transformation of Men to enter the one time restricted zone did not happen in few days, it took long years but indeed the changes came.

Today, Step into your relative or friend’s house, you won’t be surprised to find the Men in kitchen, spreading clothes in balcony or you might be lucky to get a cup of tea brewed by them, the Man can be the husband, father or the son of the house.

The eyes of onlookers have adjusted too…no more comments are passed…rather the efforts are praised.

Coming to my children, I never instilled in them the feeling that the domestic chores are the woman’s world rather I have enjoyed working with them…be it taking help in cooking, attending the guests, loading the machines, making beds. Even if I am not there, the guests don’t return without having tea and snacks…the cooking and kitchen is done.

They are used to it…in my family, all work and there is nothing like woman’s domain. I have made them independent and reared them in such a manner that there is no feeling that this work is stereotyped for women rather my daughter-in-law receives help from her hubby and her brother-in-law.

They too will instill the same thing in their Gen Next and no more it will be heard that this household domain is only for girls or woman…rather…it will be that it is for all the people who dwell in house irrespective of gender and no more the girls or women will be dragging themselves alone in household work.

At present, the scenario is that the male members don’t order their women counterparts to serve them water or tea, if they need they take themselves rather they ask the people nearby if the others too want to have water or tea.

Remarkable change has come and with the time passage, it will be more refined and polished. The Ego is diminishing from the world of Men…but it hasn’t disappeared completely but I am sure in the coming years, the existence of it will vanish in the air.

Mother-in-laws don’t make faces if her daughter-in-law orders or requests her son to #ShareTheLoad, rather she too adds in her requests.

The voices of all, Social media, Social networks, Television, Internet, Books and Magazines, the independent workers, NGOs and lot others have brought in great change in our social system, it has revolutionized the minds of masses.

When I look back and reconcile with the past forty years, I find we have marched a long distance and we have gained freedom…freedom of expression, freedom to fulfill our ambitions and passions.

The wings that was clipped has been released and we have soared high in the sky.

 

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Wish to see the morning when there won’t be any existence of GENDER STEREOTYPE in the coming Gen Next.

I wish Akshara all the best for their efforts and they excel in their plans.

Ariel ShareTheLoad

 

I am taking part in the #ShareTheLoad Challenge with Ariel and Akshara at BlogAdda.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Book Review - Ekla Cholo Re

 

The Book, “She Ekla Cholo Re” authored by Dr. Shayan Haq and Santhosh Avvannavar is a very short interesting novel that you can read in one go and it will hardly take half an hour to finish it off.

The story spins around the life of Kusum, who does not fits into the conventional male and female bracket.  The story is set in the backdrop of Calcutta in 1990. In our society, gender matters a lot and the dominance is more of male owing to patriarchal society and if the person of gender is blurred then it’s more difficult to sustain. The inspirational song of Tagore, “Ekla Cholo Re” urges her to be brave & move further jumping out of the obstacles that the social conditioning comes in her way. Will she able to sustain and win against the odds of life?

My Review:

She is a very short novel in a simple lucid language and the whole story is concluded in just 58 pages but the crux of story is interesting and intriguing. Many queries pops in our mind while reading. Professor Raj stress buster is to go on long drives, so after classes, he steers on the highway and there he finds a single woman waiting. He offers a lift and there the spark of conversation starts between them. Raj is a complete stranger to Kusum but she trusts him. It’s a bit out of place, here the author has hurried. It happens sometime in life.

Raj is swayed by the beauty of Kusum and tries to flatter her. The soul of Kusum is bruised, as she has suffered a lot in the hands of society and her parents ostracise her knowing that she is a transgender. She gathers herself and dares to live in spite of constant brickbats. She goes for sex operation for the sake of saving her love life but there too the social norms hurls her and she is compelled to step back and she is left to live her life all alone.

The song of Tagore inspires her to remain positive and face the world boldly and she does.

The story is of 1990 but even in 2016, it is not easy for the unconventional people to thrive with dignity in society. Still people smirk and scorn at them.

To know more about Kusum’s life, do buy the novel, “She Ekla Cholo Re” and do read.

The authors has done their job with excellence and has provoked the thoughts of many. The underlined message is very strong and inspirational and it is for the mass.

Don’t be let down by adversity,

Face it bravely,

Accept yourself as you are.

That is the message of Tagore’s song,

Jodi tor dak sune keu na ase

Tobe Ekla Cholo Re

Ekla Cholo, Ekla Cholo, Ekla Cholo Re.

Rating: 4/5

Buy Book @Goodreads, Amazon and Flipkart..

#ShareTheLoad with Gen Next!







“Break the age old taboo Mitali, distribute the work among your kids and your husband and soon you will find enough time for yourself.” I advised my neighbour Mitali, whom I found her on toes, overburdened with work and the creases on her face said that she was irritated at heart.

Many times, she wondered how I managed to remain cool and calm and my house was well managed, things arranged on proper place and I was in gaga mood.

“Di, tell me your secret. How you manage? I am at wits end and I feel overstressed. What to do?” Mitali enquired.

I passed a smile and said, “Mitali, you work hard, but you need to be a smart worker.”

“Smart worker, Am I unsmart and dull di?” She made a long face.

I could feel that she was hurt by my words.

“Ohh, Mitali. Grow up, you talk like a school going kid. I mean to say that you have taken all workload on your shoulder and that is the reason that you don’t get enough time to rest or be at ease. Share your responsibilities, it will reduce your burden and your kids and husband will learn to manage. Afterwards, they will praise you for your effort to make them learn to shoulder responsibility and when you are on outing, they will not pile up the work for you and wait for your return rather they will clean and clear the work and you will feel light at heart. Make kids and hubby independent, they will love you more once they are independent.” I explained her.

“Di…they will not feel my need once they learn to be independent.”

“Hey innocent Mitali, now I have to be strict with you. Come on. I will explain to your kids and husband.”

In evening, I called up her kids and asked Mr.Chanda to join me over tea and snacks in evening. They all were there on time as I had scheduled.

“Why don’t you all help Mitali in managing household and ease her burden? She is overloaded and irritated. I believe you all must have marked the changes in her.” I told them.

“Aunty, you are right but mamma does not allow us to do. She feels she is perfect and we are not.” The three kids said in unison.

Mr.Chanda held the same view. I told Mitali and explained her that she should teach them else they are the ones who will face the problems of adjustment in life. After high school, they will leave her nest for further studies and in lack of habit of doing work, they will feel burdened and the easy things will be tough for them.

I started the training then and there from my house itself. I called up the kids and distributed the work of serving ready tea and snacks to all the people present in the house, even I did not spare Mitali’s husband.

If I would have done all by myself, it would have taken half an hour to distribute and with the help and support of all, I was relieved from the work in ten minutes and none felt the burden. The smiles were running on the faces of all.

Mitali had two daughters and one son and she was more particular about her son, an attribute of a typical Indian mother. I lack this quality, maybe because at my place, I am in minority. I am the only lady in my house.

I asked Mitali to distribute the work evenly among the kids sparing none and involve your husband too. You will feel inner happiness to find him near to you, this way you will enjoy his company and your load will be shared.

After a fortnight, Mitali dropped in at my place with a family pack of dark chocolate, my favourite one.

“Wow Di…really you are a magician. Your idea changed my lifestyle and me. I feel happy and involved with my family. Previously, I used to drag along alone and at times, I felt pity on my status but now I feel happy and elated and the division of work has brought smiles on the faces of all and we crack jokes, share our feelings working together and even my house is sparkling.” She hugged me tight.

“Hey Mitali, leave me. I am not your hubby. Go and catch him tight, he will enjoy the hug.” And we laughed out loud.

My daughter who was studying in next room rushed into living room.

“What happened Mom? Hope you are okay.” She enquired.

“We are very much okay, dear. We are celebrating with chocolates.” Mitali said and laughed.

Her lost laughter was back and I was happy to see happy Mitali.




There are lot more Mitali’s in our society, who are dragging the reins of household in her hands and has lost the glow on her face and she is reduced to mere bickering figure.

  • Share the workload among the family members.


  • Involve them with yourself in arranging things, cleaning the house, laundry and cooking as per their capacity.


  • Make the family people independent and caring so that when you are unwell or out of town, they don’t suffer.


There is no gender stereotyping in household work, all can do all jobs and with practice, they will excel. Remember failures are the pillars of success and all learn with trial and error, no one is perfect.

The woman of the family needs to take the initiative to induce the feeling of sharing the load and it will be passed on from one generation to another. If a child is watching his father, brother and sister sharing work, he will follow the same trend for his family and the coming generation will be more jolly and caring towards each other.


At a lighter note, Woman has the birth right to give birth to a child, Men cannot snatch away her bliss, rest everything can be shared. 



I am taking part in the #ShareTheLoad Challenge with Ariel and Aksharaat BlogAdda.