Sunday, August 10, 2014

THREAD OF FAITH

I am the eldest one in my siblings, among four sisters & youngest brother...in my childhood days, the festival of Rakhi was not much celebrated, we did not had a brother so I missed the fervor of this  festival unlikely my friends & neighbours who religiously celebrated with much gaiety & a week ahead they were busy in shopping & chalked many plans...keenly awaited what the collection would be from brothers though the amount they got was from parents...but still they waited for the D day...I felt vacuum inside...no  fervor for  Rakhi, though I never let out my emotions, no onlooker could assess my feelings but I felt very bad...It's true that I did not had bro from my mother but I had brothers but they all stayed far and there was no ray of hope that they will be with us on this festival.

To divert my attention from this...you all won't believe what I did...I used to buy Rakhi for myself & tied on my hand & adorned my forehead with Tilak & if somebody asked anything, I used to say very easily," I am son of my family, so I tie the thread,".... I lied to others to evade from the eyes which tried to peep inside me as I didn't wished that truth surfaces out....


In the evening, we all friends gathered & most would be busy in counting the amount collected from bro's & next day, they planned for movie shows with their Mom or Aunt, ( in our childhood days, going to a Movie was a planned leisure time) & enjoying chat and pani puri at their favourite shop.







After few years, my brother was born that too in the month of August, the month of Rakhi..as far as I can recall...I have a vague memory that Rakhi was just after his birth ..and my grandmother bought rakhi for us & asked to tie in the tiny hands who couldn't understand the value of this faith....we just tied to him ceremoniously as asked by elders...but still the zest was missing....I wasn't even comfortable with his birth because the attention of all elders were on him...my grandparents, aunt & parents were on top of the world as they were blessed with a son after birth of four daughters...he was much awaited & all were overjoyed...but I felt neglected as all love was showered on him...now I feel it was a sibling rivalry...I was introvert in childhood days...lacked expression but inside me negativity developed seeing the change in attitude , though till today, My mother says that the feelings for all children are the same irrespective of gender which can be true..though I can't ditto because I am blessed with two sons, no daughter, & I lack the feeling.


Gradually..as he grew up, celebrations of Rakhi had a place in our house & my mom used to see that Rakhi's, sweets &  new dresses are bought for us & after tying, we got few bucks from my Mom & but still I missed the zest..bcoz he was very much younger than me..we shared a difference of more than eight years so the bond of sibling rivalry missed in our relationship...what he did of our Rakhi was his weird act, he ate all the silk threads of the thread tied...not even for a hour,the threads adorned his wrists...it was his naughtiness which is quite natural for toddlers..he did not know the sanctity of this Rakhi.

Before he grew up, I was married off (at quite younger age) so again I missed the festival fervor & my siblings went far away from me...I was at Muzaffarpur & they all went to Karnataka, my father was placed there in Bangalore in service...and in the absence of technology....the distance was felt....it was a ritual to be followed, so I ceremoniously sent Rakhi by post,but I missed the feelings.

Till today...this festival does not hold much importance in my house because I don't have a daughter & till my sons were here with us ,neighbours tied them Rakhi & I gave them bucks to pass on to their rakhi sisters, but never was anything special cooked at my house. My husband's sisters don't observe Rakhi, so at in -laws place, the zest missed. 




With the advancement in technology...now I send Rakhi's online & keep myself busy one week ahead in choosing appropriate one & there are wide variety to choose from & now I enjoy the festival through on social sites where people put the pics of their kids or bro's and sis observing this festival and it is a pleasure to watch the bonding of siblings.....in virtual world but it gives a satisfaction.


The new generation wish to go for single child, I am deadly against it, because being a parent you are snatching the bonding of love of siblings which are most of the time rivals in their early childhood but this rivalry gives an opportunity to grow faith in each other & the bond strengthens with time & this space can't be filled by any other relations..there will be a void...


Disclaimer: The views are solely mine and there is no intention of offending others..so enjoy reading!!!




2 comments: